I just met someone knew =) But I got this burning question about my ex

[Justmike101]

I am at a cross-road right now. 7 months broken up, last 2 months of those NC. I recently sparked something with this new girl. I am going on a mini-date with her this Friday night and on Saturday, which is the V-Day, I might be taking her out on a date if she isn't doing anything big with her single friends. Either way I get to see her and our phone convos are going real well. She definitely is showing interest and my compliments toward her cuteness is taken well. I honestly believe that this is going to progress to a relationship very soon.

 

Anyway, the question I have is, do I at some point break NC to figure out why my ex dumped me or do I just go on without closure?

 

I dated my ex for a year. We were friends in high school and she liked me back then. We didnt speak again until 8 yrs later when we became young adults. She became my first love and first GF. It went very well. We were deeply in love, and even shared our first physical intimacy. Yes we had our ups and downs like most couples, but I fear some of it was something of the unusual. As our mutual friends agreed, she is a very unique girl. She is a fire cracker and extremely impulsive. She is also very cutthroat and has the ability to turn cold on someone quick, whether that be on friendship, co-worker, or a boyfriend, if she made her decision. Decisive is the word to describe her.

 

Thing that really disturbed me was I don't think my break up was something of the ordinary. I always thought it was strange that she was dating 3 guys simultaneously in a non-committed relationship before she met me. When she met me she fell for me super fast and cut off all contact with her past guys, at least temporarily. She is also extremely private and she lived alone in downtown L.A, while her family as well as family-run business was at least 45 minutes away. Knowing her privateness, it was big for her to introduce me to her family with a mindset of marriage, towards our 1 yr together. She also met with mine. However, she didn't meet any of my friends nor wanted to hang out ever in groups. She just wanted to spend time with me and me only. Her words were "I simply don't care to meet ur friends bc i don't really know them nor care about them."

 

After I graduated from a prestigious university this past summer, I got a real good job. we talked about moving in together. She really wanted to move in with me. I thought it was kind of too fast and abrupt but we loved each other, so after saying no a few times, I told her yes. Then hell broke loose. First day at work, my lawyer calls and tells me my citizenship got denied because im no longer a student. i had to let go of the job. to make things worse I had LSAT exam the next month.

 

Under extreme pressure and stupidity, I explained my situation to her and asked my gf to marry me. As you can imagine, she dumped me right then and there.

 

I tried to get her back. I apologized. I told her it wasn't a character flaw but that so much weight of disappointment and failure led me to make that mistake. She wouldn't have it.

 

We broke up but this time we never got back together. She got over me super fast as if she already wanted to for a while. She put on a silent treatment. Strict hardcore NC. Any attempts by me to talk to her, she would lash out against me harsh words. Within the next few months she got a new boyfriend. Within the same month she went on a trip to Vegas with him. I tried to contact her to figure out [COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR] had happened. She threatened me with restraining order and told me to get over it cuz she is.

 

I just didn't understand how someone could just turn so cold overnight like that. I still don't know to this day the real reason why she broke it off with me. She said some stuff along the lines of "you are verbally abusive. I always feel low when I'm with you. I don't have to feel this way."

 

I was never verbally abusive with her. Never raised my voice on her nor cussed her out. I do criticize her for some of her character flaws. I call her out on her spoiled bratty ways. I criticize her for using text messaging in every conversation, important or small. Sure I do get mad and say things to her that I regret but who doesn't?

 

So in the end, my constant obsession to trying to figure out what happened is driving me crazy, and her reluctance to even talk to me is not helping at all. Yes I went NC and I healed tremendously but curiosity is getting the best of me at times.

 

What do I do? Just leave the confusion alone in hopes that in due time it will fade, or should I wait a bit longer and contact her to ask this question? Some of my friends and my mom tells me that they highly suspect of having unstable psychological state. They tell me run and run fast away from her.

 

To be honest I don't know anything about her anymore. She is not someone I can trust. She is not the same girl I met in the beginning, or maybe I just did not know her at all. Maybe she had been seeing someone the whole time or maybe she really did meet someone after the break up. Whatever it is, I don't think I did anything to deserve such harsh break up treatment and I want to know what happened.