wdskuk Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Well today is my birthday. (2/12) So why am I feeling so depressed. That's because my girlfriend of two and a half years decided to break it off with me 3 weeks ago. Like what many here have done I kept begging for her to come back to me. I promised her I will change for the better. Well it just made it worse. For the last 3 weeks I just cannot her off my mind. I kept calling and seeing her during the three weeks. She feels as if everything was ok. I know what I'm doing is wrong which will prevent me from moving on. But it's so hard especially when both parents are involved. They constantly ask me if I have spoken to her day after day. Of course the NC will be hard to do but I tried it. The longest was 3 days. I know that will never be long enough to ever move on. However I do feel better especially when I don't think of her during the No Contact. Whats really bothering me is I know there is another guy involved. She's in college by the way. They met at a party and then a club over winter break. I was stuck at work so I couldn't really hang out with them or her friends. I never knew what was going on. That is until I started reading her text messages. They were texting back and fourth constantly. I know the other guy likes her but she's telling me she would never like him. They are just good friends. Yeah Right!!!! I even caught a text message from her saying "You still at work babe" Now what the hell does that tell you. Did she leave me for another guy or what. Over the past weeks she been telling me she's confused on what she wants now. She's still 21 and I'm well 27 now. She keeps saying that she has so much more to do in her life when she's still young. But what about me. I'm freaking 27 now. Near my 30s. Ahhh I'm getting old. So what should I do. Should I even try to get her back because I miss her so damn much or should I just stay as far away. My parents and her parents knows all about this so it will be really hard for me to move on. Let alone going with the NC. They're all telling me she doesn't like the other guy. But they don't know what I know. How am I going to resolve all this. I feel so depressed day after day. I cannot conentrate on anything else but this problem. It really hurts
dudemag Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 she sounds immature dude, i would just do my best to move on man. you really are better off with someone more you age, someone more "seasoned"
Island Girl Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 So what should I do. Should I even try to get her back because I miss her so damn much or should I just stay as far away. My parents and her parents knows all about this so it will be really hard for me to move on. Let alone going with the NC. They're all telling me she doesn't like the other guy. But they don't know what I know. How am I going to resolve all this. I feel so depressed day after day. I cannot conentrate on anything else but this problem. It really hurts Okay - First Happy Birthday. Today is liberation day. Go completely NC. You do not have a choice. You need to get past the drivel and get the MAN back into your system. Right now she is focused on another guy -- and THAT sucks. But you are giving her every reason to see him in a batter light than you because he IS acting like a guy and you are not. Sorry if that sounds too harsh. But my guess is that you were not an emotional basket case when she met you and fell in love with you. So she is not attracted to that type as a rule. And now you no longer resemble the man that she did fall in love with. So get HIM back. This benefits YOU and the possibility (if indeed there ever will be one) that you will get back together. Also NC may show her what she is missing. How can you miss what is still there? And especially if it is still there and then reinforcing the fact that you made the right choice by showing doormat behavior? C'mon. Nothing is less attractive than allowing someone to crap all over you and then begging them to stay and keep doing it. You are ONLY 27!! You are still in your youth! You have plenty ahead of you and there are plenty of women out there. If this one can't see it then there is one out there who will. But they aren't going to want a broken person either. YOU have to take the NC to fix yourself. Get back your vigor and zest man! Get back the strong capable guy that you REALLY are.
SushiX Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 1. The worst thing you can do is to beg. Don't ever do that. Ever. No one likes beggars. 2. She's 21. What did you expect? Sorry but people this young are still in the so called "dating phase" Find someone closer to your age. The maturity level between 21 and 27 is astoundingly huge! 3. She's been talking to him before she broke up with you, sorry but she's probably sleeping with him by now. Usually women have someone already before they break up with you. 4. What should you do?? well "She keeps saying that she has so much more to do in her life when she's still young" As hard as it may be, the best thing for you to do is go NC. Well, its the only thing you can do really. And Happy birthday man. Hope all goes well.
Author wdskuk Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 Well she wants to bring me somewhere nice to celebrate my birthday today. Should I go or just blow it off and give her an excuse. I'm so confused. I really want her back but i know it will only turn for the worst.
lkjh Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Blow her off but be honest. Tell her you need to go no contact with her. If she ends up wanting to get back with you in a couple of weeks you better demand the truth about this other guy. Im sorry but it sounds like she wanted to date this other guy. Happy Bday
Island Girl Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 If you want her back you need to show her that you are the man you used to be anyway -- so that is her last impression of you and will somewhat erase the last handful of interactions you have had where you have not been yourself but the insecure mess you feel like right now. So this is your chance to do that. You need to stuff all of your emotions and make sure you give her the imression you are strong, confident, and not a whipping post. I hope you are a hell of an actor. That said, give yourself a birthday present and go. Enjot it - make sure she enjoys it. No relationship talk. Let me say that again No relationship talk That is extremely important. I can not stress that enough. It is after that you should go absolutely NC. No texts no e-mails no messages no phone calls. No Contact. Start rebuilding yourself. If she does come back she needs to find the person she was initially attracted to. Hopefully you will leave a great last impression and then the NC will foster that and remind her what she is missing without you in her life. If it doesn't it never was going to anyway -- so the NC allows you to start healing from the very start. I warn you - she is going to really push for contact initially and you must hold strong. You can only talk to her once and that should be AFTER she is really starting to panic (lots of calls or messages). It is then that you explain you have straightened your head out and want all or nothing. Then you go back to NC. If she does come back to you - remember you do not just jump in. You have to start over and hold her at bay so you don't devalue yourself. Otherwise she'll be much quicker to do this again.
Author wdskuk Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 Well I just called and told her how I felt about everything that's been going on. As of now we are no longer friends. No more contact or anything. I just don't want to be feeling depressed every single day. I need to rebuild myself. Did I do the right thing?
Author wdskuk Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 I also decided I will not be going to the celebration. I'm just too uncomfortable about whats happening
Author wdskuk Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 Thanks I really needed that. My heart is just too torn apart right now.
Knight_Ctrl Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Thanks I really needed that. My heart is just too torn apart right now. Man man man....****, I know exactly how you feel. When a girl is texting another guy endlessly and then tells you "oh its nothing, were only friends" yeah right....damn texting, its like myspace. It forces drama, it is a tool of drama. You gotta run from it man, she is cthulhu right now (my fav way of looking at a breakup) and she is trying to devour your soul. Even if she isn't actively going out of her way to force herself into your life. Look out for when she does, you need to go NC NOW so you can heal as much as you can before you either run into her or she calles you. My ex called me a few weeks ago, and I had enough strength to just basiclly tell her to piss off. You need to do this for yourself brother and make sure that you take care of yourself, you're going on a spiritual quest now to reclaim your balls. Be careful. and happy birthday. booze it up
Author wdskuk Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 Well my ex girl came over unexpectedly to celebrate my birthday after I specifically told her not to come because I was really not in the mood. So with that I completely lost it and started screaming in her face. I even outright told her we will never be friends anymore if she continues see that guy. So did I do the right thing or did it just make things worse. I really don't know what to do now. Also when nobody can reach her last night and I was closest to her dorm, I had to make a trip out there to see if she was ok. Well who do I find when I got there, the guy she likes. My ex, him, and 4 other guys were all studying together. I pretty sure by now you know how my temper is. I was boiling on top of my head. But I kept under control and had a little talk with them before I left. So how do I feel today. It's another day of depression after what happen yesterday. Man I hate this feeling. It just hurts so bad.
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