SoulSearch_CO Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 The needy and doormat thing would have killed it for me. I don't think I'd go out with him again just because he seemed to be pushing quicker than what you were ready for already - just imagine after a second date.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 The needy and doormat thing would have killed it for me. I don't think I'd go out with him again just because he seemed to be pushing quicker than what you were ready for already - just imagine after a second date. Not to be mean, but I wonder how much he would have pushed if I would have gotten in the car to 'talk'
Island Girl Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 You aren't really attracted to him physically (dealbreaker for me) but you were willing to overlook it. He disclosed that people treat him like a doormat which means he doesn't assert himself and doesn't have a confident strong presence (another deal breaker for me) which put you off but you were willing to overlook it. He then went in for a kiss and I may be mistaken but you really weren't feeling anything from it. And you are willing to overlook that. He then pleaded with you for more time in his car (a poor attempt at getting you into make out mode) which only demonstrated his weakness to you (deal breaker for me again) but you are willing to overlook this as well? For me, I won't waste my time on someone who doesn't create that spark and possesses characteristics that I find attractive. There are just things that I KNOW will never be okay with me or attractive to me and the couple of times I did try to look past these things (which happen to be the things listed here) it only proceeded to get worse. In the end I searched for a reason to call it off. It should have just been over in the beginning. I say don't cross things off of the list of things that you want to make someone fit the bill. Find someone who does possess those characteristics.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 So what's the best way to let him know I'm not interested in dating? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I rarely have had to do this. Either it was a mutual feeling, I got left wondering, or a guy was just so off the wall creepy I'd just ignore him.
Squirtal Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Hi Dreamergirl. Sorry it didn't go totally to plan. I would just be honest and say you don't think you're suited. Say as much as you had a great time you can't see it developing into anything with him and that you're sorry. Just be honest. Maybe even think what you would have liked to have been told on the times you were left hanging. That should help you.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 Hi Dreamergirl. Sorry it didn't go totally to plan. I would just be honest and say you don't think you're suited. Say as much as you had a great time you can't see it developing into anything with him and that you're sorry. Just be honest. Maybe even think what you would have liked to have been told on the times you were left hanging. That should help you. And if he asks why? Just judging by the conversations and what not with him, he's going to ask why.
Island Girl Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Just let him know that you didn't feel any chemistry and you won't hold him or yourself back from finding the person that can give you everything. Then wish him well and end the conversation. Do not respond to any messages or calls after that.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 Well it's done. I'm praying that is that, and he moves on.
socialight Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 ask yourself, in all honesty, if this is a guy you WANT to spend with more time with. If the answer is not YES, then the answer is no.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 So, this is what I wrote... Hi ****, It was nice meeting you too. I did have a nice time last night, but I didn't feel any chemistry. I'm sure you'll find someone that you click better with! I hope all goes well with you in the future. Dreamergrl This is what he comes back with... so, do you want to go out again or what? something could always happen, you never know. Then another message right away... hey, have to go run some errands now but i just thought of this. if you didn't feel any chemesty why do i keep getting winked from you? It's like on match, where you wink at someone, but I haven't done that.
likestolaugh Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 maybe you should just respond once, re-iterate what you previously wrote... and then cut contact. He needs to take a hint.
Oliveman Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Then another message right away... hey, have to go run some errands now but i just thought of this. if you didn't feel any chemesty why do i keep getting winked from you? It's like on match, where you wink at someone, but I haven't done that. Ugh. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be a guy. I apologize in advance on behalf of my gender for all the creepy message he'll probably ned up sending to you. Some guys just can't take a hint.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 I had a feeling this would happen. I really don't know if writing back, even if it's just one more time, is a good idea. Two email responses right away. I could remove him from my match list. Maybe then he'd get the hint?
Island Girl Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 I'd remove him and not reply. The two responses that he sent after you told him you don't want to see him again show he is relatively obtuse (by choice or not) and any response he may misinterpret as a opening or a chance.
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