habichuelita Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 hi everyone. im new here. anyways, im very worried about my situation. Im youg 22 years old, got married because i got pregnant with whom is now my husband. We have been married for 2 years now and have been together for 4 years. I was totally in love with him when we were dating. We had great sex but i think it was good because of the fact that it was againts my family will that i had before marriage sex. SO i think that the fact that it felt good was because it was forbidden. Anyways.. now that i got married, i have never ever felt attracted to him again (sexually speaking) i dont want sex anymore. but he is a great husband a great friend a great father to my 2 year old daughter... and i think this things are necessary for a healthy marriage. SO i have hope that i can feel differently about him. It turns me off to be telling him what to do during sex, i wish he could just know and try new stuff!! but he just doesnt, im tired of being the one always trying to bring new stuff to bed, and now, im just not interested anymore.. i dont wanna have sex, i can be happily ever after without sex in my life. I find myself fantasizing about being married to another man, to be living in another situation, but at the same time when i think about it as a real deal, i dont see myself living my life with another man, like i want it but at the same time i think my husband is a great man. Also, the lack of good hygiene habits he has, disgust me. He sometimes dont brush he's teeth he sweats aloot and i just feel disgusted towards him. Like it doesnt help!! i dont wanna throw away my marriage i want it to work, but what do i do when im not attracted to him sexually anymore?? any advice?
sunbrite Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Everyone is probably going to tell you to have a talk with him to let him know how you're feeling. I say talk and maybe part ways. Is he the same age?
Ramrod Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Not complicated at all. Talk to him about his grooming habits, hygiene and ask him to put some spark into the same old same old. Stop posting here and talk to the man. End O story! Another problem solved in a single paragraph, D*mn I'm good!!
hunkahunkaburninlove Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Is there a men's group at your church? We had a guy who would give talks on how to be a better husband. Hygene was one of the subjects. May I suggest you take it upon yourself to take a shower with him and wash him ONCE. Lay down the law. If he doesn't bathe before he climbs in your bed. He doesn't get in your bed. As far as sex goes. Some guys are so stupid. And they completely ignore just how much more fun marriage can be with a smoking sex life. I would sincerely consider myself less of a man if I didn't do any and everything to please my wife in bed. I take pride in my ability to drive her up the walls.
DayDreamer75 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 is not this post similar to hundreds of other posts on this forum... they always talk about the same: I don't want to have sex any more with my partner... I love but am no longer in love... Am I wrong to think that this is all about a mental attitude of the "victim"? I once read that if you're in love, you can't love. Because our concept of being in love is actually related to an addiction and when you are addicted, you can't really appreciate what the other person really is. When you love a person, on the other hand, you bond with this person exactly because of the way he or she is and because you give unconditional love... Now, personally, I find it strange how you can feel disgusted by a person you love because of his or her physical appearance or sexual interests. This to me is a demonstration of selfishness and lack of true love. Am I wrong to think this way?
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