hotgurl Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Does your husband have any female friends? Does you wife have and male friends? Does it make you uncomfortable? My husband has a female friend. They used to hike together with another male friend of his during the summer. I have never had a problem with it since he always hikes every weekend with his male friend and the girl occasionally joined them. The three of them were friends for years before we meet. Well now he is into winter hiking which is something that will never appeal to me. Since his buddy has a new GF he is now hiking alone with this girl. and it bothers me. Am I out of lined here?
Enema Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I think it's fine unless your husband has previously given you cause not to trust him. I have no female friends, simply don't find women interesting. My wife has a few male friends, gay and straight. It doesn't bother me at all - I'm a pretty awesome guy, nothing to fear.
gopher Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 He shouldn't be hiking with her alone, in my opinion anyway.
Ronni_W Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 he is now hiking alone with this girl. and it bothers me. Am I out of lined here? Maybe it depends. Does it bother you just because you think it "should" -- like, is it more coming from some "programmed" belief that it's supposed to bother you? Or, are there actual reasons that are causing you to be concerned? On the surface, it may LOOK fine. But that doesn't mean we always FEEL fine with it...sometimes our unexamined (irrational or misguided) beliefs can cause us to freak out even when there's no real evidence that we "should" be freaking out. That is, if it is bothering you, that sort of suggests that it might be be worthwhile to explore it a bit deeper so that it doesn't turn into some big, weird situation. IMO.
carhill Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 OP, some questions which I think are germain.... Has his female friend joined you for a meal at your house? Does his female friend have a BF/spouse, assuming she's straight? Does he converse with her in front of you? If yes, what are the topics of their conversations? Do you get the sense that she supports your relationship? Thanks!
Author hotgurl Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 OP, some questions which I think are germain.... Has his female friend joined you for a meal at your house? Does his female friend have a BF/spouse, assuming she's straight? Does he converse with her in front of you? If yes, what are the topics of their conversations? Do you get the sense that she supports your relationship? Thanks! well I have meant the female friend but this is where it gets complicated. She is crazy. I mean she is a Schizophrenic and not on medication. She was but it made her reme,ber how she was before the illness and she got off of it. So she doesn't make sense because she is crazy and I didn't want her in the house around my daughter because she can have violent outbursts. I never understood the friendship frankly. But I was more comfortable with it when his friend was with them. He wouldn't cheat or anything but I still don't like it.
Mr. Lucky Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 well I have meant the female friend but this is where it gets complicated. She is crazy. I mean she is a Schizophrenic and not on medication. She was but it made her reme,ber how she was before the illness and she got off of it. So she doesn't make sense because she is crazy and I didn't want her in the house around my daughter because she can have violent outbursts. I never understood the friendship frankly. But I was more comfortable with it when his friend was with them. He wouldn't cheat or anything but I still don't like it. Well, I was going to answer that it's no big deal (I have a female hitting partner, my wife works closely with a male co-worker) but the mental illness angle is a tough one. I think the real answer depends on your gut comfort level. If it's not there then he shouldn't do it... Mr. Lucky
Lizzie60 Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 I never had any problems with female friends AS LONG as they were friends for a long time AND it started well before we met.. I have male friends and I had them for a long time.. 'Newcomers'.. would not be welcomed...that's asking for trouble..
want.it Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Yes we had/have them . It didn't bother me she worked with them,the only time I was irritated about it was when she hung out with them when we were not getting along.
Recommended Posts