suzieeq Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now, and we get along great, everything is awesome. I never ask about past relationships/exes, because I really dont want to know about them, and think they are irrelevant. However... I stay at his place about 4 times a week, and when I use his shower, I cant get my mind past this shower gel he has on the side of the tub.... there is a catch..... The shower gel is pink and is clearly a girls brand... which is most likely his ex girlfriends. I happened to notice it there in the beginning, and never cared BUT.. recently he cleaned his shower and tub, and threw out the empty bottles of shampoo, etc... and kept the shower gel (and cleaned underneath it!!)... what does this mean? is it weird to keep this stuff? am I overreacting? I really dont want to be nosey and prod at his past, but I just wonder if it is odd that he is keeping this.... and why? I also noticed he had a girls fuzzy slippers still... do men usually keep these things after a relationship ends?
Lucky_One Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 He could be keeping the gel because he thinks you use it. And maybe he likes wearing the slippers when you aren't around.
manugeorge Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Maybe he uses the shower gel. Why not just casually ask him about it?
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 How much time elapsed between his break up with his ex and your relationship? Perhaps he kept it for your use? Is it girly like Victoria's Secret girly, or just something you presume a guy wouldn't use? Does he use/smell like the shower gel? Where are the slippers?
Author suzieeq Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 it is victorias secret (Sugar Candy scent)... pink... the bottle has hearts on it. i dont know when they broke up, i dont like to ask about exes. he does not smell like it at all... and the bottle is almost empty... why keep it? the slippers are hanging out of a box in his closet on the top shelf... they say La Senza... white and fuzzy.
AlektraClementine Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Here's a thought. Men are completely oblivious sometimes. Is there a chance he just assumes it's yours? He's obviously not hiding it.
Author suzieeq Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 i dont think he thinks its mine... i never leave stuff there. i just dont know how to approach it without opening up the ex-files.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Does it look like this? http://cgi.ebay.com/Victoria's-Secret-Insatiable-SUGAR-CANDY-3-in-1-Wash_W0QQitemZ350157707624QQcmdZViewItemQQimsxZ20090125?IMSfp=TL090125167002r19986 If so, it's old. Some guys are oblivious to things like this. Even I can be, actually. I have a bar of Irish Spring in my shower, that is CLEARLY not mine. It's very old. White slippers? That doesn't mean they're a woman's. What size are they?
Author suzieeq Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 they are white fuzzy thong sandal slippers and say La Senza on the bottom.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 You don't necessarily have to open up the ex files to ask why there's feminine shower products in his shower. If he acknowledges it belongs to someone else, simply tell him that you're uncomfortable with remnants of his previous relationship looking you in the face every time you shower.
Author suzieeq Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 yes, it is that same bottle that was in the link you posted.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Sorry, I didn't know what La Senza was. Weird actually that I didn't know it was a Limited Brand. Hmph. Just talk to him about it. It's obviously bothering you, and they're clearly another women's belongings.
AlektraClementine Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 i dont think he thinks its mine... i never leave stuff there. i just dont know how to approach it without opening up the ex-files. This is not a big deal. If you are that bent out of shape about it, you're really in for it. Now, it's the shower gel. Next month, it will be a hair tie. Really. Some people are just oblivious to this stuff. My guy handed me an earring once and said "I guess the other one's at your house". It wasn't mine. haha.
manugeorge Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 and what is the fear about opening the ex-files anyway? You are dating a person and being intimate with them, don't you want to know their history? I'm not saying you should open up the whole can of worms asking about how many times they f**ked and where, like some idiots do. But general questions is not something you should be afraid to ask even if the details are unpleasant. A simple, "hey, is this yours"? will do, instead of driving yourself crazy.
Author suzieeq Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 so would i be wrong to toss the shower gel in the garbage?
Author suzieeq Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 its not a fear, its just not my style.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Does he have a sister? Any other female who it could belong to? I do agree that if you can't talk to him about this, you have bigger problems in your relationship.
manugeorge Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 so would i be wrong to toss the shower gel in the garbage? You would be wrong to toss anything in his house without asking him first. That is unecessary drama, why would you even want to start that?
Lucky_One Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 It's JUST soap. Maybe he keeps it because it isn't as drying if he uses it to masturbate with in the shower. And the slippers are in a BOX. Personally, I think you are over-reacting. If he was sleeping with strange panties under his pillow, I would be concerned.
Author suzieeq Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 i was just asking if it was wrong for advice, not to be bashed.
Lucky_One Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Who bashed you? I don't see anyone calling you a psycho witch from hell.
Author suzieeq Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 just by saying that i would be starting unnecessary drama by throwing it out.. i dont think i am a drama queen... i am just trying to get some advice here. sorry, bashing wasnt really the right word there.. it came out wrong. i am just really confused here about why he would keep this out in plain view.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 It's JUST soap. Maybe he keeps it because it isn't as drying if he uses it to masturbate with in the shower. If it was hair conditioner, I'd agree with you. My ex kept a bottle of Herbal Essences conditioner in his shower. I knew exactly what it was for. But me thinks (and guys, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) that men don't rub one out with SOAP.
Author suzieeq Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 wouldnt you think that he wouldnt want to look at it every time he showered if it was his exes, besides making me look at it?
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 He's keeping it plain view for one of two reasons: (1) He's CLUELESS that he shouldn't have it any longer; (2) He's trying to give you the hint that he's still involved (emotionally or otherwise) with another woman. Which do YOU think it is? You're in the relationship with him...
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