Lishy Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Ok I need a kick up the arse people ........ I have a really good friend who met a guy 3 months ago. He was a really nice guy but 3 weeks ago he treated her really badly. I dont want to go into it but he broke up with her and it really upset her badly. They ended up getting back together and I really dont think she should have as he will treat her badly again, I just know it But anyway that was her choice and I stand by her as her friend and will be there like I was last time to mop up her tears and listen to endless hours of talk about him The problem I have is this ... On Saturday I am going out with another friend and she is going out with her boyfriend and we may bump into each other. I will do whatever I have to to support her but I know I am going to find it hard to be ok with this guy as he hurt her so badly. She literally spent 3 weeks sobbing on my shoulder and I picked up the pieces. I know I cannot be the same with him again and I am an open book, my face tells a thousand stories and I need help in how to deal with this! If he talks to me I know I will not want to have a convo with him and I am worried it will cause a problem for her. He is feeding her BS all the time and she is suffering it again and I camt do a thing about it but does that mean I have to be nice to him? I learned a long time ago never to get involved with friends and boyfriends but I actually do not like this guy at all anymore HELPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!
Trialbyfire Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Lishy, have you considered discussing this with your friend, in that you tell her that she's your friend, that you care about her well-being and can't stand to see her hurt. Because of this, even though you respect her choice, it's impossible for you to fake niceness with this guy. While you'll be civil, don't expect friendliness.
Author Lishy Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 Well TBF, funny you should say that, I was sitting here thinking just that! She is coming for dinner tomorrow night and I am going to tell her just how I feel and tell her that although it is none of my business, the way he has treated her has left a bad taste in my mouth and that I cannot be the same with him. He has told her lie after lie and still is, I have no respect for him. Like I respect her decisions and choices then she has to respect mine surely? I can see me losing a good friend over this, but I really cannot be two faced, it is not my nature. All of my friends know me for my straight talking. It is hard to watch her be a fool for this guy who is so not worth it
2sunny Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 tell her how you feel. she will know that if you bump into him you will be distant and unengaging with him. if he tries to talk to you - just shut the conversation down with one word answers - this way you don't create an argument or lead him to believe you are ok with all of his past actions. nor do you plan to participate in a conversation with him. answer everything he may say with three choice words: yes, no or maybe. answer without emotion, he should get the hint that you are not going to engage him in conversation.
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