kevsmt5 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Sorry for such a long post however i like to ensure i have covered every detail. [COLOR=#333333][FONT=Tahoma]recently broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year, i was a total idiot for most of the relationship, mainly through trust issues, and snooping and been a fool when i was drunk, I wont go into to many details, i was never violent though and the break up was really coming. However we have broken up and she has moved 600yards away from me. When we broke up i was devastated as i do love her (my action may seem stupid for someone who loves someone) but i really did and still do. We broke up last Saturday Night, she found a new place the next day and moved in Yesterday. She stated we could still be friends and stated if she sees changes in me as a friend we could try again as a couple. I have helped her move her stuff in and she even asked for me to stay last night as friends (maybe as first time she lived on her own). I stayed the night and we got on fine shared same bed nothing sexual although it is so hard not to want to touch her. However i am not sure where this is going, she reassures me we can try again if i change, she got to point where she was sick of me asking if this was really true or was she playing me for a fool. She did say as did i why we try the "friends" thing we would not sleep or date anyone else. Obviously i asked a time frame of when she might know we can be more than friends, however obviously she said could not give one. She does not have many friends locally round here and works till [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#333333][FONT=Tahoma]9pm[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#333333][FONT=Tahoma] most nights and i am the closet person she knows. Do you think she is playing me here or do you beleive we can actually give it another go if i change my ways, So far i have started councelling for trust issues (this is mainly due to my ex wife cheating and then getting with my best friend) however each person is different and i really should not have took out on her. I have also stopped drinking i was not dependent on it just when i did drink i would say stuff i regreted. She refused to talk about the realtionship at all she says i should know what i need to change. She texted me today to say "i appreciate your help with the flat x" however i cant stop thinking that maybe she is not going to be more than friends. I have stated if we were to stay just friends i could not do that as would be back to square one when she finds a new boyfriend/sleeps with someone. What if anyone has experianced something similar to this did they get back together, i am not wanting us to move back in i think be best if we had seperate places. What advice would you give me to make sure i have done everything possible to show i have changed. What should i not do? How often should we see each other? Should i just let her text/call me?. To add to this, what do i do with regards to seing her, if i see to much is this not going to just make things worse and harder for me, and make her see us as just been friends. if i see less of her how can she see if i have changed as a person in her words "grown up". If i see her more she can notice changes more, if i see less she wont notice as much, or shall i just leave it up to her to contact me to see if she wants to see me if she does ill see her if she not contact me i wont contact her, but will this not give her the impression that i have moved, on each answers could be correct each one could be wrong its which one to take. ??? To add to this my partner is still staying at my flat as issues with her electricity in her new place which should be sorted in next 2 days. However tonight she asked me to rub her feet something I used to do, I thought that is unusual however half we through she said “a male friend” and put effort into the word “friend” used to do it years ago. She had no issue with me putting my hand on her thigh either. She then felt need to say she has just started her period to she used to always tell me before, but whats the point now. I keep saying to her I scared that we wont be more than friends however she says if I thought there was no chance do you think I would be here. Thing is she said if things don’t work in her flat and still issues she will have no choice to move back to Wales where she is from. I thought this was a bit harsh, I said stay here till u find another place. She said what was the point of breaking up if I was here would be a bit odd. I just feel like I am getting mixed signals. She asked why I was going round a females friends of late (we are just friends like brother and sister nothing sexual she knows that and has met her a few times before) I stated I going round as when we were a couple you used to say I should see my mates more. I not sure if that maybe jelousy on her part. Thing is I try telling I have changed and she says I have not, I said how can u tell if I have if we are not a couple as my issued were only issues you would have in a relationship.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333][FONT=Tahoma]Since she has found her new place she has had problems with the flat and has been staying here she is looking for a new flat and i have stated stay here till then however she says defeats object of breaking up, however i not see how it makes a difference i am not in her face and let her get on with her single life. I am no good at this and perhaps maybe easier when she moves out. thanks Kevin[/FONT][/COLOR]
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