SoulSearch_CO Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 OK, so we live about 2 hours apart. Not that far. But we can't just go hang out whenever or hang out at each other's houses. It's limited to me going to see him or him to see me on my days off each week. That aside, here's my question: Anyone ever feel like talking on the phone a lot and/or email made the distance harder to deal with? I care a great deal about him. I'm quite happy with the relationship - it's brand new. But the fact that we talk so much everyday (about an hour in the morning and an hour at night in addition to FBing and emailing each other) makes me miss him more. I think denial would be easier. Talking to him on the phone just makes me wish more that I was sitting right next to him talking to him, smelling him, feeling him. I did also have another question. Those of you in LDRs, did you find that being a distance away from each other made the R move forward quicker than it may have had you been in the same town together? We met online in November, went on one 6-hour date in December, then in January we had one 27-hour date (he stayed at my place) and then a 48-hour date the following week (where I went to his place). We've already been intimate, we've already said "I love you." I just wonder if maybe we're moving TOO fast? Or is a quick pace normal with a LDR? I mean, really, if we lived in the same town I could easily have seen us getting to do more dates in the 3-month time period than we have had. So maybe I'm overthinking it.
KikiW Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 The LDR I am in now is the first LDR I have ever been in (started getting to know him last May/June-ish, met for first time in October), but yes, I have to say that I feel like my LDR progressed much faster than "in person" relationships. We started saying I Love Yous much earlier than I anticipated. I feel that the distance, and the fact that when we talk we can't see each other, has forced us to learn to communicate better. We've had several "Hold on! Communication breakdown!" moments, where we had to stop and say I think you misunderstood me, or I think you misinterpreted what I said, or I think that came out in a way I didn't intend. We've become very adept at picking up when the other person is feeling "off", and because from the beginning we both demanded complete honesty, we have learned ways to get each other to talk about how they feel and find out what the issues are. Just last night we had a fantastic conversation, where we talked about our concerns, our views on things, basically pulling out any unanswered questions. Every time I start overthinking things, feel doubt, or believe I am going too fast, I talk with him about it and every time I do I am more in love with him, feel more confident and am even more committed to making it work. There are people out there who find local relationships that have done everything you have, and have already broken up! Yes, 3 months is a short amount of time, but I'm not getting the sense that either of you is suggesting "hey lets elope and run away together!" - enjoy your relationship, communicate openly, and see where it takes you
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