ktkingster Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 So I met this guy online. We started talking on email and then he asked for my number. He called once, we talked, it was fine. So we set up a time to meet. We met for drinks, stayed for about 4 hours talking, lots of flirting, etc. He said we should hang out again maybe the next weekend. At the end of the night I didn't know what to do so I put my arms out for a hug and he kissed me for like 10 seconds. So 3 days goes by and I havent heard from him so I text something flirty like how I don't usualy wait that long for a call, and he flirts back but then ultimately says it's been a crazy bad week. So later that night I find out online when I saw him on that his young cousin died that day in an accident. He didn't seem to act like it was a big deal, though. ANyway, 6 days go by, don't hear from him (the next weekend came and went, though I knew from the news that the funeral was that weekend), so I sent him an email just asking if I was getting blown off, and if so it's cool I can handle it, just ignore the email if so. Then I get a text from him saying no he wasnt he just was thrown a curveball and dealing with family things and the funeral. He then asked what I was doing Friday, I replied, hanging out with you. Didnt hear back from him. This was on Sunday. So the next day I send him a funny email to make him smile since he had a bad week, and at the bottom casually asked if we were on for Friday .. no response. I just don't know what to think. I really had a good time with him and would like to see him again, and he gave me good signals that whole night ... is it possible this family thing is causing him to just not care about what's going on with me right now? I mean, I know I'm not all that important in his life or anything, but we have potential, but he's kind of ruining it by not showing me the interest I think he should be. Whatever. I have decided he asked me about Friday, so it's Tuesday ... if I never hear from him then I'll just forget it. It just sucks .. I want to know early in the week if I have for sure plans on Friday, not just sit around and wonder ... but then again, I feel like I've contacted him enough. Grrrrrrr.
hotgelato Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I'd hold it off. You have definitely contacted him more than enough. Are you sure about the funeral? And even if it is true, he doesn't have 5 seconds to text you back? I dunno... I just don't think email/ texts are the best way to communicate since the other can ignore it too easily. If you really want a closure, or something, give him a call and see if he picks up. Leave a voice mail to call you back and if he doesnt, or he texts you with another lame excuse...move on-
Author ktkingster Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 yeah im sure about the funeral. in fact the accident was kind of all over the news here ... it was a pretty freak accident, and apparently the mom (my guy's aunt) is reportedly having a very hard time with it all ... that's definitely true .. public knowledge. but yeah i do agree he could at least have shot a quick text or anything to let me know what was going on. yeah i don't think im going to call him. he seemed to initiate talking to me before we met, so i know he can do it. i just don't get it, because he's definitely not out of my league, i looked FABULOUS on the date, we had a good time, and he kissed me. sooooo ... i just have no clue what to think. guess i'll know by this friday!
Oliveman Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Sometimes it helps to look at things from the others perspective. I mean honestly, he's probably dealing with a lot right now and having a tough time dealing with his family. No offense, but it's not like you've been dating for a long time. Sometimes life sucks in that it throws a wrench into things fast like this, but instead of giving him more to worry about, I think you should just give him a bit of breathing room. If the date went as well as you think then he'll come around. Guys aren't really big on opening up and throwing their emotions out there for the world to see, especially when they're first stating to get to know someone. Not saying to drop contact with him, let him know you're still around, just keep it light and don't pressure him to go out or try to pin down an exact time for a date. Just my two cents.
hotgelato Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 You know, dating is about the right timing.. maybe he's not in a place to put dating as the top priority at the moment. If the accident was really huge, he might need more than a couple of weeks to recover. Give him some time and space. Don't stress over it!! Date other dudes in the meantime haha
Author ktkingster Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 ok you guys are probably right. i just really like this guy!! it does seem like it's a bigger deal than he originally let on. i've already let him know i'm interested, so i guess i'll just sit back andsee how it unfolds.
prettybaby Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I personally think you've been quite selfish. If it's true about a member of his family dying, then you have showed zero empathy. I'd personally be annoyed too if someone I barely know acted like they should be my priority when I'm actually dealing with a loss in my family. I'd back off for a while and try to contact him again in a couple of weeks. And don't ask for a date. First (genuinely) ask him how he's doing and how things are going on his side. Then take it from there and play it by ear.
Lucky_One Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I wouldn't contact him at all, and I would go ahead and tell myself that he just doesn't want to date you. You have made overture after overture, even to the point of planning a Friday night date when he never acknowledged your suggestion. You don't seem to be able to get past the fact that you looked hot and that he kissed you. Maybe he wanted to kiss you then (and see how far you would let him go), and that moment has passed and he doesn't want to hook up with you. The night you met it seems like he was looking for a booty call thing; you didn't give in, and he has no real interest in you besides that.
Squirtal Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I personally think you've been quite selfish. If it's true about a member of his family dying, then you have showed zero empathy. I'd personally be annoyed too if someone I barely know acted like they should be my priority when I'm actually dealing with a loss in my family. I'd back off for a while and try to contact him again in a couple of weeks. And don't ask for a date. First (genuinely) ask him how he's doing and how things are going on his side. Then take it from there and play it by ear. I totally agree with this and couldn't have said it better myself. If you do end up contacting him ask how he is..not whether hes blowing you off.
Treasa Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 If one of my family members had died, I'd be pissed at you for trying to send funny emails and whatnot. I know others may be ok with it, but I wouldn't be. I also wouldn't be ok with the constant attempts to contact me when I'm trying to go through something this sad. Leave the guy alone, realize this may be hard on him, and let him make the next move.
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