maxcherry90 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I just can't seem to catch a break in college. First semester, I carried on a relationship that for one month was nothing short of spectacular, and in the following month, one of the most frustrating, passionless times in all of my dating experience. Upon our imminent breakup, I was told firmly by my female counterpart that the problems we encountered weren't my fault in the slightest...that I was unquestionably the best guy she ever dated, and she just couldn't live up to her own duties as a girlfriend. Two months have passed, I'm beyond over that whole ordeal, and upon returning for the second semester, I admittedly came in hungry for romance. A few weeks into the semester, I started hitting it off with a girl in one of my classes...this gorgeous, witty, warm girl who shared an incredible amount in common with me. The catch? From the get-go, I was aware she had baggage if I wanted to go in for a relationship. Major baggage - she had a romantic fling with my roommate late last semester. At the time, I knew no specific details, but nor did I want to know...I felt such a strong attraction to this girl that I could easily toss aside her baggage without feeling a hint of awkwardness regarding my roommate. So I asked her out. We had an unbeliveably amazing date. We spoke nonstop over the next 24 hours. The chemistry was perfect. We praised each other like crazy. The next day...she broke up with me. It was one of the toughest, most complex breakup convos I've ever experienced. See, it's not that she's not "over" my roommate, but the details regarding their relationship paint something of a one-night-stand picture that has apparently left herself feeling distraught and ashamed and guilty...and not ready to date. And like with my previous girlfriend, she went on with how "amazing" I am, and how I deserve someone that can "give 100%" in a relationship. That's all perfectly understandable to me. And, I'm glad she called things off before I got too emotionally attached. But, of course, the convo couldn't end without playing some games with my head and heart. Our convo ended with her describing regret that she hadn't met me before my roommate, that "hopefully someday, after she's had alone time" we can date again, and then she blatantly said that "I'm the best kisser she's ever met and it'd be nice to do that again sometime." Now, I really do like this girl. A lot. She's terrific. And things (to my surprise) are surprisingly not awkward at all between us as friends. But, some of her words are holding me aback from fully moving on to searching out other girls. It probably doesn't help much that there aren't a whole lot of options around me in terms of relationships. I'm now questioning myself..."is this as good as it gets?" To wait around and give a girl I really like the time to heal and come to terms? Or, would that just be unhealthy and dumb, and I should be running toward new prospects?
Crestfallen_KH Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Honestly, that's the lamest way to try to "let someone down easy." This is a read-between-the-lines scenario. What she's really saying is that she doesn't want to be with you, period. Have you ever had someone into you that you weren't into? It's downright annoying because you don't feel the same way - but you're never left to guess if that person likes you. Despite the fact that you don't return that person's affections, you still know through words and actions. So if someone wants to be with me and that person KNOWS I like him back?? It's not this complicated. She's being a coward by trying to let you down easy, but she doesn't want to be with you.
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