ruggy Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Can some people give an idea on a proper way to end a date? Usually, when they go well, I hug and kiss them on the cheek then ask them out for a second date. Does that sound to needy?
chris250 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Can some people give an idea on a proper way to end a date? Usually, when they go well, I hug and kiss them on the cheek then ask them out for a second date. Does that sound to needy? I think it's a good idea to shake her hand goodnight and smile and say "I had a fun time tonight. Thank you." After exchanging pleasantries at the end say goodnight and get the hell out of there. Don't talk about the future, i.e. don't ask for a 2nd date. Ask for the 2nd date when you call her again.
Author ruggy Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 I actually did that on a date last year. Just got back into dating. Was a bit nervous. She told me it felt weird. The shaking the hand thing. Not the greatest move. I unfortunately tried with with little luck.
chris250 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 It's important not to make any moves that risk attacking the woman's comfort level. That's why I don't go in for the kiss on the 1st date. She could probably charge me with sexual harassment if I went in for the kiss. That's how our laws are these days.
artchick88 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 The hug and kiss part is nice but you should just say I'll call you in a couple days. And actually do it! That is the appropriate time to ask her out again.
artchick88 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Oh and also make sure you do not call the very next day. You can text to say I had a nice time but only if there was a lot of chemistry
PrincessPeach Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Hug her... it's socially acceptable and shows you like her and had a good time. Plus hugging can help to build attraction. If you give her a peck on the cheek that's fine too. Don't shake her hand.
artchick88 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 It's important not to make any moves that risk attacking the woman's comfort level. That's why I don't go in for the kiss on the 1st date. She could probably charge me with sexual harassment if I went in for the kiss. That's how our laws are these days. I do not really agree with the advice you are giving. No kiss? A handshake? If you are on a date the point is to create romance, not awkward stiff encouters. Women enjoy a respectful man who comes off with confidence. If you seem to nervous to even give a hug after a date she will think you think of yourself as unworthy. And no woman wants a man who doesnt think he is good enough for her. Or she just might think youre not interested or turned off or something which will make her feel awkward and uncomfortable.
Author ruggy Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 Very true. So, if I dig her, I'll go in for an innocent hug and kiss on the cheek. Say I call here later in the week. Or speak to you soon. How does that sound?
griffinchicken53 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 i always thought breakfast was a good way to end a date. not really, just some good natured humor. i shouldn't joke, this is useful information that i might actually have to rely on one day.
Oliveman Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 It's important not to make any moves that risk attacking the woman's comfort level. That's why I don't go in for the kiss on the 1st date. She could probably charge me with sexual harassment if I went in for the kiss. That's how our laws are these days. Wow are you being serious? If a girls into you then there's no problem with a kiss on the cheek like he was asking about. I usually kiss girls on the lips on the first date. Instead of sitting on the sidelines hoping she's comfortable and not doing anything that may presumably offend her, your goal should be to have her feeling like there's nothing in the world more important at that given moment in her life for her to be doing than kissing you and that there's nothing else in the world she'd rather be doing. You have an odd view of dating. Whatever happened to romance? I shake old guys hands when I meet them, not women my own age. I feel that most women want to be swept off of their feet, and shaking hands isn't the way to do that. Correct me if I'm wrong ladies.
D-Lish Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Doesn't really matter what you do- if she's interested, you won't screw it up with a handshake vs a hug.
chris250 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I do not really agree with the advice you are giving. No kiss? A handshake? If you are on a date the point is to create romance, not awkward stiff encouters. Women enjoy a respectful man who comes off with confidence. If you seem to nervous to even give a hug after a date she will think you think of yourself as unworthy. And no woman wants a man who doesnt think he is good enough for her. Or she just might think youre not interested or turned off or something which will make her feel awkward and uncomfortable. If she's genuinely interested in me then she's not going to give up so easily just because I decided to take things slower by shaking her hand on the 1st date. That has nothing to do with confidence. If I've done everything else right on the date by being a gentleman and making her laugh then she's not going to hold it against me that I took it slow by not going in for the kiss. The quality of the date is more important than whether or not I moved in for the kiss at the end. I've already shown my interest level in her by paying for her meal and asking her out. I don't pay for my friend's meals. I ask for separate checks if I just want a friendship. Besides she wouldn't care about my interest level in her to begin with. All that matters is the woman's interest level not mine. That's the reason I don't talk about my high interest level in her until she talks about her high interest level first. Until then it's safe to assume that she doesn't care what my feelings are for her. It's a non-issue for the time being. If she has low interest level then my not going in for the kiss at the end of the date would be a non-issue as far as she's concerned anyway. She would be glad I didn't kiss her. Her interest doesn't just magically go up just because I think I'm good enough for her. I don't get to be the judge and decide that I'm good enough for her. She does.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Ignore Chris - just trying reading some of his other threads before taking anything he says seriously. But yes, a hug is super. A peck on the cheek if the date went REALLY spectacular and the chemistry was banging. A hug can definitely build attraction. But yeah - just say you'll call her later (like a couple days) and ask for a date on that phone call.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Do NOT shake her hand. Give her a hug, tell her you had a good time, and that you'd like to do it again sometime.
chris250 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 A man's interest level is none of her business until she starts talking about her interest level.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Chris, did you subscribe to "The System" on askmen.com? You poor thing.
chris250 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Chris, did you subscribe to "The System" on askmen.com? You poor thing. I have borrowed parts of it. The rest I made up on my own.
PrincessPeach Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 A man's interest level is none of her business until she starts talking about her interest level. I suspect your ineterst level is going to be "none of her business" for quite some time.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I have borrowed parts of it. The rest I made up on my own. That tells me all I need to know. Men who follow "The System" ... nevermind. It's not even worth the energy to explain to you. You need a life coach or something, nevermind dating help.
chris250 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 It's just common sense really. Why should my interest level by of any of her concern unless hers is high too? First things first. Doc Love has it right about the woman's interest level mattering more than the man's. Most other love doctors take for granted that the girl's interest level is high. They think that as long as a man likes her then she's guaranteed to like him back. We know it doesn't work that way. I'm better off spending my time focusing on what her feelings are towards me instead of dwelling on how much I like her because at the end of the day she has the final say about where things are going with the dates. Until I find out the interest level is mutual then how I feel for her is not any of her concern. A man's job is to make her laugh, entertain her, pay for her food, look sharp, dress up nice and then let her be the judge and give him a grade on his report card about how good he is for her. If her interest level is not there then it's not going to matter how the OP goes about ending the date. She'll be glad if he doesn't go in for the kiss. She won't reject him over something so superficial such as waiting too long to move in for the kiss. If she was that superficial then I would not want to be dating her in the first place. It would be a blessing in disguise to get dumped for moving too slow with a woman. It's better to get dumped for moving too slow than for moving too fast. What's more important? the quality of the date or what form of affection he gave her at the end of the date?
likestolaugh Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 shaking a dates hand makes it feel like a business transaction just occurred. Don't do it.
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