I broke nc again, I seem can't let go, why ?

[moveon]

I feeling so down and depressed today, as I'm sitting here typing this, tears streaming down,,,,, I missed him so much..... I just can't seem to let go....

It has been almost 4 months since our breakup, during these time, I broke the nc couple of time, once during Xmas time, and next one was end of last month. The first time he didn't replied to my text/email, the 2nd time, he replied to my text, I was very happy and back on falso hope. Last week, I called him and we had a long conversation (about 45 min), and it went really well, just to catch up, nothing about getting back. After the talk with him, I was feeling really great the past few days, until last weekend, I sent him another text msg. to say "hello". He didn't reply, so I called him, he didn't answer, so I left him a message. I waited all day, no response from him, I was getting very disappointed and depressed. Later on in the eveing, I called him again, his cell phone forwarded to voice mail. Then I checked my email, and saw his email, my heart was pounding as I opened his email, he was just letting me know that his phone is not working, and will call me sometime.

 

It has been almost 2 days now, he still hasn't call, I'm very disappointed. I doubt it that he will call me. It's just probably an excuse that his phone is not working. If he doesn't want to talk to me, why didn't he say so ?? why is he like that ? I don't understand ?? Sometimes I would rather he hadn't sent me that email, that email sort of give me false hope of waiting on him. I feel like calling him and let him know that if doen't want to talk to me, just let me know rather than give me the excuses. I know I shouldn't. I know I should let go of him, but I find it so hard to let go, we were together for 7 years, I don't have the strength and will power to do it. I need help and support......

[Geraltt]

Read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2038588&postcount=1