lamar23 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 My ex left me on christmas. Two weeks later she got into a relationship with another guy that ade her feel like a queen. She had a hared time going to him and was torn between us but I was suffering my first heartbreak and was an emotional wussy. Not attractive so I pushed her into his arms. Now he doesn't make her feel like a wueen anymore but she still likes him. I quit contacting her weeks ago but answered for her when she called me. We got on better terms now but today when she called me I ignored her and did not respond to the two texts after that. Should I just ignore her to make her miss me even more than she does now or should I talk to her as things were progreesing. I'm confused and want a womans opinion. Especially one that has been in this situation before. Thanks in advance.
BCCA Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I'm not a woman, but I have been in your shoes. You're being used. You're the backup plan, emotional tampon, whatever you want to call it. She does not value you, and things were not progressing anywhere but the same place you are now. Shes still with him. She chose him over you, for whatever reason. Now, she thinks its ok to contact you and complain about the guy she left you for? Thats a horrible thing to do, and you can bet everything you own that she wouldnt stand for it if the roles were reversed. Whats happening is that you know you dont want just friends. She knows that, too, but thats what she wants, so shes kind of stringing you along, hoping that you'll stick around long enough to either fall into a friendship or at least be there for her as long as she can keep you. If she flat out told you friends is all youll ever be, you would bail in an instant. She knows that, because she would, too. Do not call/answer anything from her again. Unless it starts with 'i made a huge mistake, and i want to make things right', delete it, its garbage.
haley121 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I was in this position as well. My bf at the time broke up with me and went straight to another girl. I agreed with the break-up, but I still had serious feelings for him and was half-way hoping for a reconciliation after a while. I continued to talk to him for the months he was dating this other girl. It was the biggest mistake ever. Trust me. He talked to me about their issues and stuff and it hurt a lot (I pretended it didn't of course--I was being the "good friend"). We did get back together afterwards for a while, and it created emotional problems within the relationship because I realized that I did feel like the "back-up" even though I was happy to be with him again. So even if she DOES come back (which most likely she won't unless this guy breaks up with her), it may have bad effects on your possible future relationship (remember it is only a very slight possibility anyway). Here's the key about contact with exes. Do not contact them in any way, shape, or form until you're perfectly OK with the idea of their being with someone else. Can you imagine the two together without feeling sad, hurt, jealous, or betrayed? If not, then don't answer her calls, texts, e-mails, whatever. Delete her off of myspace or facebook. It may sound harsh, but you gotta do it. She's with him now, not you. If she wants you back, she'll make it happen. I feel for you though. I know it sucks. Try and move on with your life and tell yourself the relationship is over. It'll be the best thing for you.
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