remid Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I've got a question: How long should I pay for the dates? I mean, I don't bother being a gentleman but honestly, in today's society, women earn as much as men so I definitely don't see why some girls are still expecting the guy to pay for everything... It just makes me fear that she's just seeing me because she'll be entertained for free... How can I bring the subject without offensing her?
jam1982 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I don't know dude, I don't have any problem treating my girl. I think what you said about not bothering to be a gentleman is a little problematic. Girls AREN'T going to think that's cool. If she is a traditional girl, then yes she will expect you to pay for everything. However if she is rather modern than most likely she will be honored if you would treat the first date or two, then after that she can offer to treat. It all depends on the girl you are dating.
clv0116 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 According to many here they want an equal who will split all chores down the middle, but they also expect you to pick up the bill. Enjoy that.
PrincessPeach Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 If it's bothering you, bring it up. If she can't reason with you or talk about it or is offended by your remarks for whatever reason... then you clearly have different views on relationships and gender roles anyway and it likely would have faltered before much longer regardless and you've just saved yourself from misery further down the road. Maybe she the traditional type, maybe she is using you. Maybe you're not okay with dating the traditional type of girl. That's okay, it doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you and her might not be right for each other.
bean1 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 There are still traditional women in today's society. Yes, my SO makes more and pays for most things. He pays for all the dates. I have tried a few times (I have paid for dinner when he went to the restroom), but he likes to take care of those things. In return, I do the cleaning, chores, and have his dinner hot & ready for him at the table when he gets home. I stay in shape because I was in shape when I met him. I intend to be a stay at home mom in a few years. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. As a man, it's ok to pay for everything, but make sure she holds up her end of the bargain. It's the same for women - if you expect a man to take care of you, you better make sure to take care of him! If you want a more modern girl who pays for half, then expect to throw on the apron 50% of the time yourself!
Author remid Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 Yeah, well, then I guess I'm just looking for a "traditional" girl: I'm not looking for a housekeeper, I'm looking for a girlfriend. And since I know from living alone that cleaning and cooking is not fun, I don't mind doing my share...
confused and broken Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 First of all UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO MEN MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS WOMEN That is a fact and I wish it weren't true but it is Second how do you feel about women asking you out... calling you... initiating I don't think were even close to the point where there is equality in this world I always pick up the bill at least half the time because I don't want a man paying my way or thinking that he owns me I think that it says this girls is extremely traditional Do you want that? If not then maybe you should look at the whole relationship Is she traditional in other ways Maybe she wants to be entertained but why not find a real sugar daddy?
BCCA Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 According to many here they want an equal who will split all chores down the middle, but they also expect you to pick up the bill. Enjoy that. You left out open doors, always call them, and never expect sex when you want it, but that sounds about right from what I've experienced.
calazhage Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 First of all UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO MEN MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS WOMEN That is a fact and I wish it weren't true but it is What year are you living in? Women have taken over the workforce and make excellent money. Men still typically do all the crappy/dangerous/very low paying jobs, so women do not have to. But of course, I am sure you want just the creme of the crop jobs, and also want to make more money, and also want men to pay on dates, and also want the man to make more money than you that you marry, on and on and on. Dude, just get used to paying. No matter what women say, the vast majority hate to spend their own money on a guy. Especially if you date beautiful women. They then expect you to pay for everything.
Oliveman Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I don't get why guys feel the need to pay for everything right from the get go. I pay for some things and have the girl pay other times. Usually works out to be about 50/50. You don't owe her anything when you first start dating. This is the 2000's. I find it funny how guys think they can buy a woman's affection. Like if you pay for everything and buy her gifts and flowers she'll like you more. That has absolutely nothing to do with attraction. In fact from my experience, women enjoy a challenge more than being catered to all the time. Push her comfort zone to keep things new and interesting. And find a better way to build your value in her eyes than paying for things.
ruggy Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 There are still traditional women in today's society. Yes, my SO makes more and pays for most things. He pays for all the dates. I have tried a few times (I have paid for dinner when he went to the restroom), but he likes to take care of those things. In return, I do the cleaning, chores, and have his dinner hot & ready for him at the table when he gets home. I stay in shape because I was in shape when I met him. I intend to be a stay at home mom in a few years. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. As a man, it's ok to pay for everything, but make sure she holds up her end of the bargain. It's the same for women - if you expect a man to take care of you, you better make sure to take care of him! If you want a more modern girl who pays for half, then expect to throw on the apron 50% of the time yourself! Lucky dude.
Surfer Dude Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I don't get why guys feel the need to pay for everything right from the get go. I pay for some things and have the girl pay other times. Usually works out to be about 50/50. You don't owe her anything when you first start dating. This is the 2000's. I find it funny how guys think they can buy a woman's affection. Like if you pay for everything and buy her gifts and flowers she'll like you more. That has absolutely nothing to do with attraction. In fact from my experience, women enjoy a challenge more than being catered to all the time. Push her comfort zone to keep things new and interesting. And find a better way to build your value in her eyes than paying for things. Yes, because there are a lot of guys who think they can pay their way into woman's panties; "I have paid for 2 dinners this week, so I guess you gotta **** me 4 times". Those guys are often: unromantic (although they hide behind the pretense of romance by taking care of bills)boring (the only way they can attract a woman is with a promise of a free meal)doormats (why are you paying for her? what has she done for you?) Instead of creating immense attraction and rapport by conveying personality, being confident and displaying high value, these doormats put women on pedestal, supplicate, objectify them, bore them with BS no one cares about and expect to get laid. Most women don't like being put on pedestal. When you do that, they think "I haven't even done anything for this guy, but he's doing things for me and paying for me. Obviously he has nothing to offer so he's buying his way into bed with me. What a doormat." On the other hand, there are women who will drop guys unless guys take care of all the bills. Those women are plain gold diggers and prostitutes. There aren't many of them, so feel free to drop them and next them for some cool and respectful chicks. The aforementioned chicks are also controlling and use sex for manipulative purposes. Avoid with extreme prejudice.
sweetie17 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 It's a tough question. I've been dating a guy for about 2.5 months now and he does mostly pay for dinners and stuff. But then I usually try to pay for the smaller things, grabbing take-out and stuff like that. Plus, I like to cook him dinner and bring him baked goods and stuff, so I feel it evens out OK. I think a lot of it depends on how old you are, what kind of situation each of you are in, etc. I dated an older man with a really good job and he paid for absolutely everything no matter what I said. And it didn't bother me/I never felt like he "owned" me. He just had the money to spend and he knew I just finished grad school. It never made me feel pressure to do anything either. If she doesn't at least offer to pay, something might be wrong. But it's up to you if you let her or not!
bluehare07 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Good question.. the answer is... as long as you can pay the bills, pay it. Wait for the girl to offer and never leave an impression that you don't wanna pay the bills.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I've got a question: How long should I pay for the dates? I mean, I don't bother being a gentleman but honestly, in today's society, women earn as much as men so I definitely don't see why some girls are still expecting the guy to pay for everything... It just makes me fear that she's just seeing me because she'll be entertained for free... How can I bring the subject without offensing her? What is her situation? Is she working 9-5, attending school, both? Also, what kind of relationship is she looking for? Does she plan to be a housewife... ect? If she has a career, then she should start paying her way by date 4. If not... just make sure your getting laid. Dump her hard if your not.
Art_Critic Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I've got a question: How long should I pay for the dates? ......... Why would you not want to pay ? A woman has much more prep and expense looking good for you.. should she ask you to pay for her nails so she can impress you ? If you want tit for tat then just ask a woman how much it costs for her to be ready for a hot date.. if she has kids then throw in $50.00 for a babysitter on top of it too... Trust me.. the guy paying for dates is getting off cheap in the long run.. and if you get sex then there is that payoff as well.. should she ask you to pay her for sex ?
confused and broken Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 What year are you living in? Women have taken over the workforce and make excellent money. Men still typically do all the crappy/dangerous/very low paying jobs, so women do not have to. But of course, I am sure you want just the creme of the crop jobs, and also want to make more money, and also want men to pay on dates, and also want the man to make more money than you that you marry, on and on and on. Dude, just get used to paying. No matter what women say, the vast majority hate to spend their own money on a guy. Especially if you date beautiful women. They then expect you to pay for everything. I am living in the year 2009 sweetheart and going off pure statistics Look it up Do your research before questioning me Still women loose half their career having babies and still women in every profession except modeling stripping and prostitution make less than guys (on average) this is not to say that some women don't make a lot of money I am just talking about over all and there is a huge difference That difference also spans between skin colors
chrislovestosurf Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 it really depends on the situation, but i'll tell you this.. she'd better damn well at least OFFER after a few dates. Thats is just rude if she does not. Although I will refuse to take a woman's money most of the time I will be really annoyed if she doesnt offer to pay half or take the check once in awhile. Im sorry but if a woman I am going out with cant afford a dinner here or there she is history. Unless of course shes in med school haha. I love being able to treat a beautiful lady to a nice romantic dinner, but there are boundries and I know when i am being used.
LeroyJose Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Although women earn as much as men do nowadays, for me, it's still best if we pay the bills during dates unless they offer paying for it. We are still "men" after all. You can let her pay once in a while. I see nothing wrong with it.
clv0116 Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 ... if she has kids then throw in $50.00 for a babysitter on top of it too... Might as well, you're gonna be paying to send them to school.
dwightl Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 It really depends on the status of the girl you're dating with as I can see.
Surfer Dude Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 I believe a man should never have to find himself in a situation where he has to pay for anything short of a cup of coffee. Proper seduction can be done in all venues and there is no reason to supplicate and pay for a woman who has done nothing for a man. Unless you believe that's the way into her panties, but a genuine prostitute would be cheaper on the long run.
clv0116 Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 The whole PUA game horsecrap is a reaction to the masculinization of women. I just prefer to avoid dating masculine women.
Surfer Dude Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Last night in a club: GIRLS: We don't have any money, tee hee. Can you get us drinks? ME: Tough luck girls, you'll have to drink water! haha Some chumps bought them drinks tho, and I continued from there.
clv0116 Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Depends on the situation. A few weeks back a girl I'd been shooting pool with all night happened to spot me (we'd been separated a few hours) as she was finishing breakfast and asked if I had some money to cover the tab. I said no because I thought it was a silly request and she just laughed, paid and hung out with me the rest of the morning, until we both went back to my place. But if you ask her out and don't pay, you're sort of a cheap ass. The amount of money it takes should be trivial unless you really suck at life.
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