resound Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Hi guys, this is my first post and rite now im in a weird situation. I dont know what i should do and i definitely need some advice. Im currently in my last yr of high school I knew this girl since gr 9. We go to the same language class every Saturday (credit course). We sit together (starting last year) and we both go to different day school. We became friends after and we talk a lot of things. But then i dont talk to her outside of class becuz my cell phone plan is pay as you go. I have limited mins to use. After class, I usually walk with her to the next street and her parents would pick her up. A few classmates know that i like her ( i dont know how they noticed this) and they hinted her in a joking way, and saying that i like her or something (i'm not really sure about the details cuz i was absent for 2 weeks lol). 2008 summer, i lost contact with her becuz she doesnt use msn very often, i have limited mins on my cell and i had a summer job. Near the end of summer, i finally talked to her on msn. I asked her about the summer and she said she was busy with family things, her aunt was in the hospital and she had to visit her all the time. In october, i invited her to my b-day party, even tho i know she doesnt know any of my friends. I was thinking that she is goin to say no becuz of that. But she said yes and she did come in the end (she was the last person to come to my house that day). in December, I asked her if she will go to prom/formal with me and she said yes. She also said that we could hang out sometime during the Christmas break, if shes not going to the states during the break. Before the christmas break, i called her a few times(finally a new plan XD). One day, i called her and she told me shes going to the states during the holiday. I told her that i was going to ask her if she wanted to go to downtown with me for new year countdown. I sent her a few txt msg before she left, telling her to have fun and watch out for the snow storm. For christmas and new year, i sent her 2 msgs, but no replies. I thought its normal becuz shes out of the country. When classes resume after the break, she told me that she didnt go to the states cuz of the snowstorm. The plane was delayed twice and 1/2 of the holiday was done, so she didnt bother going. Here is what i dont get, why didnt she reply or call me during the holiday? I knew she has exams after the holidays. Is it possible that shes busy studying? What should i do? Continue or not? Do i have a chance? (I asked her out twice to movies. The first time she have two tests after the weekend so she had study. The 2nd time, I told her that i wanted to watch this movie, but none of my friends wanted to watch and she was like " my friend is in the same situation, she wants to watch that movie but none of her friends want to", and she told me to watch with her friend, when i dont even know whos her friend) Valentines day is coming. Do u guys think i should ask her out once more? Any suggestions for activities? ( i was thinking of the auto show/ a movie). Should i give her a rose that day, if she can make to the date? PS. I am sorry that i made a really long post. This is the first time that i like someone and i dont know what to do. I appreciate ur effort for reading it as well as helping me out. Thank you!!
artchick88 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 It seems as though she was interested, but maybe something changed like she started dating someone else. Or maybe when you got your phone you texted or called her too much and she lost interest. Does she seem like she came to your birthday or said yes to the prom (did you ever go?) because she really wanted to or because she felt obligated to? Either way, I wouldn't ask her out for Valentine's Day because if you do you will seem desperate, especially since she tried to set you up with her random friend or something. Just play it cool. Dont give her too much attention but don't be rude. If she likes you she will show interest. Otherwise, just lay low and find something else to keep your mind on! Good Luck!
Author resound Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 Im pretty sure she's not dating someone else cuz i know a few of her friends n they told me about it. Im not sure if she seemed to be obligated to say yes. This is how i asked her. i bought her a teddy bear and have a card saying "prom" on the bear. I brought her to a park (her friend was following her for some reason, but her friend went to the side when i asked her) in front of the school and i asked her. I also got her a necklace. I think i probably texted her a bit often after the break. She doesnt have her cell on her all the time. Like yesterday on the way back to school ( i was on the bus comin back from swimming regionals), i texted her and she replied this morning right b4 school started. I texted her again, talkin about my morning stuff and she replied as well. But then when i replied, i wrote ill call u afterschool and she didnt reply after it. I didnt call her yet and i guess i shouldnt call. but anyways. thx for the help. i guess ill ask her out after valentines day.
PrincessPeach Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 If you are giving her gifts like teddy bears or necklaces as you ask her to prom or anything else, she is more likely to feel obligated to say yes, and probably less likely to take an interest in you if she hasn't already. Gifts are kind of like saying "I'm not very confident that you will like me for who I am, but maybe this gift will help" even if that is not at all whet the intent behind the gift is, it often comes off that way to us girls. She didn't turn you down for prom because she would have felt bad rejecting your gift as well. In her mind you two were not dating or anything and you getting her gifts came off as too strong or desperate (same could be true with you always replying to her texts if thats the case). Like most girls, she would feel too bad just rejecting a guy because she is afraid it will hurt your feelings or people will think she is mean. So instead she is nice to you and unitentionally leads you on which just doesn;t help your situation at all.
Author resound Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 What is the right approach in this situation? Should i still ask her out? lol this is the first time that im in this type of situation, at least now i learned that presents can worsen the situation.
artchick88 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Woah! That is really intense on the way to ask someone to prom! Definitely she felt obligated. PrincessPeach said it best. The right way to ask someone to prom is to just ask them! If a girl likes you for you she will say yes. If you make some big gesture she will probably say yes just because she doesnt want to make you feel worse about the rejection. If you ask someone casually they can say no without feeling like a jerk. DO NOT ASK HER OUT AGAIN. AND DONT TALK TO HER FRIENDS ABOUT HER!! Asking her out again would probably just freak her out at this point. You maybe can ask her out if she contacts you multiple times or starts talking to you a lot. Otherwise you need to back off my friend!
Author resound Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 does that mean i have no chance at all?
manugeorge Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 does that mean i have no chance at all? Just ask, sans gifts and fuss. Worst she will say is no. Then you move on.
Author resound Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 So i can still ask her out, just not for valentines day. What about asking her out on valentines day with out any gifts (i.e rose)? Would that work? or i shouldnt bother asking her this week and take it slow. thanks for the help once again!
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