shakespeare Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 I am new to this site. Pretty desperate really. I have two sons and my husband has left me for another woman. Thing is, our relationship hasn't been good for a long time in the respect of intimacy. Seems I've had the kids and I'm no use anymore. Another thing is, he says that he loves me and the boys but still gives no signs as to come back. I'm confused, and alone. Does somebody know what I'm going through?
OneFootOut Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I haven't been through this, but I really feel for you. I guess when he says he loves you, it is in a way other than the love that would keep you together, if that makes sense. I have always thought that people who have affairs probably treat the "other woman/man" the way the spouse longs to be treated. Also, if you put the "other woman" in your shoes with the kids and bills and everyday routine of family, marriage, and home.. she'd probably become someone who lost his attention as well. If a man would treat his WIFE, like he treats the woman he cheats with, things might be different at home. Honestly, since he left and he's with someone else, I'd move on. Why do you want to still be with a man who obviously no longer wants to be with you? Hold your head high and put your life back together for yourself and your kids. When he realizes what he lost, he'll be wanting to come back, but then I would really think twice about allowing it. Good luck, I hope you find some peace
LakesideDream Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I am new to this site. Pretty desperate really. I have two sons and my husband has left me for another woman. Thing is, our relationship hasn't been good for a long time in the respect of intimacy. Seems I've had the kids and I'm no use anymore. Another thing is, he says that he loves me and the boys but still gives no signs as to come back. I'm confused, and alone. Does somebody know what I'm going through? Shakey (everyone gets nick's here) Welcome to LoveShack. My guess is that there are many here who have experianced what you have. I know that I have been where you are. To get the help/advice you are looking forward to you will need to add details, "dish the dirt". There are to many variables to comment on what you have written above. One thing I will say... it gets better.
Gunny376 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Its going to take you awhile, and its going to be hard to get the concept around your head? And your going to have to earn it the hard way ~ that is to say your going to have to work at it and for it. But your better off without this lying, cheating, double-crossing, selfish, self-serving, low-life, weak-minded, un-honarable, no-integrity, ill-responsible POS~SOB! :mad: And that's with me holding back my true feelings about such peope! I can't use the pronouns man nor men ~ because he's no man! A "real" man would gladly sleep in a hollow log, drink muddy water, and eat road kill before he put his wants and needs before that of a good woman and his chldren. Dirt-bag!
peteyj Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 You have to move on. It's really your only option. No matter what you are never going to trust him the same way again. No matter what your relationship will never be like it once was. You can tell yourself all the right things and believe everything he says if he does one day come crawling back, but in the long run, most people aren't going to be able to just drop the fact that their spouse left them to be with somebody else. How could you? Why would you? I don't understand really why people in these situations become doormats. A one night stand that just happened hurts, but people do stupid things. I can see people forgiving and trying to save a marriage over that. But when your spouse actually leaves you to be with somebody else, all bets are off. At that point it's obvious they really don't have feelings for you. It's obvious that the only reason they'd really come back is because this other 'new' person isn't what they thought in the beginning. Why be the second or third or whatever choice? Anybody who leaves their spouse to be with somebody else isn't making a mistake or just not feeling right. They made a choice to leave you. Why would you want that person back? In the long run you will only beat yourself up everytime they go out of time, flirt with somebody, stay late at work , or even take a phone call. Forgiving somebody is far different than forgetting. And a spouse that leaves for somebody else just isn't something you will or should forget. Move on.
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