I've been dumped. I am healed. Yet I've never had anger moments. Weird?

[Justmike101]

My ex dumped me at the worst possible moment in my life. We were committed for a year and were very close. Same day I lost my job, citizenship, and 1 week away from LSAT exam, she dumped me over text. No explanation, simply that she doesn't think we're meant to be. She then found a new man within a few months. Since then I had pursued her trying to get her back or at least some kind of a closure. On Xmas Eve, she threatened restraining order if I contacted her anymore. I went NC since then.

 

Today, I am healed. She isn't who I thought she was. She hurt me so much and what she did was just evil and heartless. I grew some balls back and am working on myself for me. Question is, I was never mad at her and forgave her fast. Even during difficult times in NC, I wasn't able to channel my hurt to anger, which would have been easier to deal with. Yet I just rode out the pain and I was never angry or mad at her. Maybe because I realize there's no point. I know that she doesn't have the capacity to understand my pain and what she did. She is still in ignorance of this fact. She feels like she's the victim. Regardless, I think it's really weird that I forgave so easily and never got mad for what she did. I guess that's just who I am. I am finding out so much more about myself.

[justletgo07]

Everyone is different.

 

Also, it's very possible you haven't fully processed the breakup yet, and that you're not fully healed. Sounds like there are still some unresolved issues, and that you still experience pain and have lots of unanswered questions.

 

Also, I think your statement that you were never mad or angry is not entirely true. I have read some of your other posts, and you did say things to her out of anger and desperation.

 

Not to be rude, but I just want to point out that your post didn't actually ask a question. Seems more like you answered your own question. Might want to clarify for other readers.

[HappyAgain]

If you have processed the breakup completely I'd ask how much you really loved this girl.

[Justmike101]

Everyone is different.

 

Also, it's very possible you haven't fully processed the breakup yet, and that you're not fully healed. Sounds like there are still some unresolved issues, and that you still experience pain and have lots of unanswered questions.

 

Also, I think your statement that you were never mad or angry is not entirely true. I have read some of your other posts, and you did say things to her out of anger and desperation.

 

Not to be rude, but I just want to point out that your post didn't actually ask a question. Seems more like you answered your own question. Might want to clarify for other readers.

 

I do have unresolved issues. She never explained why she broke up with me She just threw up fit in anger and said I'll never understand. She said it's just the way I am. In other words, she has a new boyfriend and wants to be with him and not me. I'll never get my answers. I realized this and now I know that I must make my own resolve. It's about me now not what she has to say. Do I want somebody like that? No. I miss what I knew in the beginning about her. I don't miss the whole her. I may have had spurts of irritated moments but I do not hate her nor am I mad at her. Answers I'll never get - I am past that.

 

If you have processed the breakup completely I'd ask how much you really loved this girl.

 

A lot. but it's time to fold the hand

[Joyvke]

Once you realise how crap some people can be you can let them go and not grief exceptionally fast.

 

Good for you Mike .

[nature]

Justmike...a few days ago you were devestated over her still, had just re-written the LSAT, and were sad and wanting to contact her. Did you contact her, or did you muster up the strength not too?

 

Getting over someone comes in waves....as I have seen in myself as well. Some days we feel like we are completely over them, and other days it will hit us like a ton of bricks again. Some people lash out in anger. Others act desperate in anger. Others cry and lock themselves away. We all deal with breakups different. But the underlying issue is, we are all hurt, disappointed, saddened, let down.

 

You are doing well today...congratulations!! Revel in this good day. And when a bad day hits you again, try to remember this day, and know that you will have another good day. This is all part of the healing process.

 

I don't think anyone is completely over their ex until they actually stop even thinking about them enough to even write about them.

 

Good for you for having a good day.

[Justmike101]

Justmike...a few days ago you were devestated over her still, had just re-written the LSAT, and were sad and wanting to contact her. Did you contact her, or did you muster up the strength not too?

 

Getting over someone comes in waves....as I have seen in myself as well. Some days we feel like we are completely over them, and other days it will hit us like a ton of bricks again. Some people lash out in anger. Others act desperate in anger. Others cry and lock themselves away. We all deal with breakups different. But the underlying issue is, we are all hurt, disappointed, saddened, let down.

 

You are doing well today...congratulations!! Revel in this good day. And when a bad day hits you again, try to remember this day, and know that you will have another good day. This is all part of the healing process.

 

I don't think anyone is completely over their ex until they actually stop even thinking about them enough to even write about them.

 

Good for you for having a good day.

 

I did not break NC. If anything I upped my NC. I even blocked her on AIM so she can't even see me on. She has burned every bridge on her end, and just recently I have as well. There's just no way for her to contact me now unless she knocks on my door or gets to me through a mutual friend. I don't really care I don't feel depserate or feel the need to leave some kind of a trail anymore. Im really sick of it and gonna do whatever possible to stop thinking about her altogether. She's simply just not worth it.

[Joyvke]

I did not break NC. If anything I upped my NC. I even blocked her on AIM so she can't even see me on. She has burned every bridge on her end, and just recently I have as well. There's just no way for her to contact me now unless she knocks on my door or gets to me through a mutual friend. I don't really care I don't feel depserate or feel the need to leave some kind of a trail anymore. Im really sick of it and gonna do whatever possible to stop thinking about her altogether. She's simply just not worth it.

 

I think we both got hit by the same hammer:

 

"Screw them!" . Good for us huh!

 

I told our mutual friend that if he asks about me they should say they're not going to talk about me. Or say something along the lines like, "Joyce? Whose that." I don't want him to know how I'm doing. He's been asking about me towards others when we had our no contact, that's fine, but he's dead now, so no, nothing .

 

If you got gmail you can set up a filter that immediately deletes every mail from e-mails you put in there.

 

It's good to get hit by that hammer, and I hope all people that grief for someone that's not worth it get hit by it, so everyone can move on .