ruggy Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 How do you avoid them? I am getting better, but still not as good as I would like. Starts off where the dates are nice and you start kissing on the second date. But you have not moved past kissing. You bring it up in a conversation and after that things die. Nothing exclusive yet but it seems a lot of these women are just looking for friends and would keep you on the leash until they get tired of you. I would love to just find one woman and get into a real relationship. Hence I go in pretty early for the kiss now, maybe second time. I also see if by the forth date we are not doing anything else something is wrong. Why do people waste each others time? Isn't is best to just say, hey I just don't dig you, and say ciao?
roxy_1980 Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 So you expect a woman to start sleeping with you before she's had time to figure out if she's really interested in persuing something with you? Some people actually want a "real relationship" with someone they actually know, not just the first person who comes along. That's called DATING. PS. They are breaking up with you cause they think you're pushing them to just have sex.
dreamergrl Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 There doesn't have to be sexual encounters by the forth date for a women to be interested in you. Everyone is different at the speed they go at. I've had sex to quickly and regretted it. I'd rather be sure the relationship is going in the right direction before I do this, and I don't always know that by the forth date.
BCCA Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Thats dating dude. Sometimes, things are perfect for 3-4 dates, you even sleep together, and then...BOOM they're avoiding you like the plague. Sometimes it takes much longer or much shorter periods of time, but generally, dating is frustrating, and thats why it feels so rewarding when you find someone. Why do people waste each others time? People have been asking that question since the dawn of time. There really isnt an answer.
Author ruggy Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 Who said sex? Some of you girls take things out of proportion. What I mean is why say one thing and do the other. One minute two are having a great time laughing and enjoying each other. The next minute, done and done. It may just not be worth it anymore. The relationship part I mean. Life's too complicated as it is. When adding another being and trying to please to make each other happy, ahh I digress.
movingonandon Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Some people actually want a "real relationship" with someone they actually know, not just the first person who comes along. This might be another gender difference --> I personally stick with the first person that comes a long (that's good enough, i.e. satisfies a limited number of criteria) , and if things go well, I won't be surprised if i end up marrying that way Dating's just too much pain in the ass, and it is not worth doing it forever just to find someone marginally 'better' . Girls on the other hand, are more likely to date around for longer periods of time. I personally don't do it, but anyway I think that it's ok to go for the kiss very early on (not 1st date though..), unless it would be awkward in a particular situation. If I girl likes you, a kiss on the second date won't be a big deal at all, and thus may help weeding out the tentative or the uninterested ones.
Chicago_Guy Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Who said sex? Some of you girls take things out of proportion. What I mean is why say one thing and do the other. One minute two are having a great time laughing and enjoying each other. The next minute, done and done. It may just not be worth it anymore. The relationship part I mean. Life's too complicated as it is. When adding another being and trying to please to make each other happy, ahh I digress. I agree 100%. Some women will go out with men just because they are bored, even if they don't really like the guy that much.
Author ruggy Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 I know what you're saying here. When I was dating just for dating's sake, I was very clear about that up front so as to not lead anyone on. It was just the right thing to do. I said the same thing to my sweety when we started seeing each other, and we're going on three years now. Yea, but she wasn't. Just gave me enough to keep on coming. Called her out on it and she blinked. Hey, I have no problem if you (the woman) ain't in to me. Just tell me early on. To keep it going for weeks on end is just not right. When I click with a woman, I stay true to her. It ain't about the sex (or lack there of). I can wait for as long as she needs. But I cannot stand lying. Especially when she said communication is part of a great relationship. Now I question all woman's intentions. Basically going to she a little interest and basically behave like my friends do to them; the complete opposite to what I did originally. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. Damn shame none the less.
Author ruggy Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 Don't let this woman's lack of integrity ruin you for the rest of 'em. There are some honest, good women out there and you'll miss 'em if you let that gal ruin your attitude. Very hard to find these days.
Surfer Dude Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 I probably write this several times every day, but nobody seems to remember it. The ultimate solution to your problems: - keep dating multiple women at the same time. That will prevent you from becoming too desperate and flustered about just one woman flaking (or even more). You will care so little about a particular one, your game will improve and you will not lose focus and fumble. One more thing: several weeks is like forever. Push for sex on the first few dates, if she resists, drop her.
fishtaco Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Thats dating dude. This. ruggy, this is how it is. The upside is, you can behave the exact same way. It's fun to go though a bunch of women, some you get to sleep with and some you don't. That's just how it is. You can disappear any time too. You'll like this rule when it's your turn to disappear on a girl you lost interest in. And it's not wasting time. It's practice. When you play basketball or anything, you don't only play games that you win. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you play even when you know the other team is going to kick your butt, sometimes you just play when it's not even a game... practice. Everything is like this in life. The more you do it, the better you'll be at it. Have fun and don't get so serious about it. Because it's not.
Author ruggy Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 Whats the point in dating 4, 5, 6 plus girls when you are looking for just one? Its kinda hard juggling that many, plus, its expensive. Seems like a plan for failure. Then again, so is dating one. So you are telling me its basically a zero sum game?
Green Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Whats the point in dating 4, 5, 6 plus girls when you are looking for just one? Its kinda hard juggling that many, plus, its expensive. Seems like a plan for failure. Then again, so is dating one. So you are telling me its basically a zero sum game? hmmm well its only expensive cause you seem to be into spending money. When my current gf and I first went out I paid for dinner and she paid for the movie. Not like you have to even spend any money you could sugest something like coffee as a first date. You should always try to kiss a girl on the first date! and there is nothing wrong with dating more then one women at a time if you haven't had some kind of exclusivity talk or havn't done something to give a false impresion.
Author ruggy Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 I always assumed that it was implied that the dude pays for the dates and such. Doing "dutch" or asking her to pay is usually suicide; in terms of the relationship. Expensive in terms of two people eating, gas, tolls, movies, etc. It adds up. For coffee, I have gift cards though.
fishtaco Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 No, it depends on the girl. If she's willing to go dutch, or I pay for 1st date and she pays for 2nd, that earns major good points with me. Also how can you find the right one just by dating one girl? Unless you're psychic, or extremely lucky, that's not going to happen. That's why you have to go through a bunch of girls and pick out the best one. Dating doesn't mean it's a done deal. It means you are testing each other to see if it'll work out. If you (or her) find any signs that this is not going to work, then you bail. That's what dating is for. As for spending too much, that's your choice. Would you let me borrow $500? No because you don't know me. But what about if we were great friends for 15 years and I've let you borrow money before? So why would you treat dating any different? Unless a woman has proven herself to you, she doesn't deserve that much, so don't blow your money on her. Once she's proven herself to be worthy, ok, then start doing more for her. A woman who's only willing to go on a date with me because I'm paying doesn't sound very appealing. I'd prefer she wanted to go on a date with me because of me. If you managed to convince a woman for a date because she gets a free night out, sorry, that's not a win.
Author ruggy Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 No, it depends on the girl. If she's willing to go dutch, or I pay for 1st date and she pays for 2nd, that earns major good points with me. Also how can you find the right one just by dating one girl? Unless you're psychic, or extremely lucky, that's not going to happen. That's why you have to go through a bunch of girls and pick out the best one. Dating doesn't mean it's a done deal. It means you are testing each other to see if it'll work out. If you (or her) find any signs that this is not going to work, then you bail. That's what dating is for. As for spending too much, that's your choice. Would you let me borrow $500? No because you don't know me. But what about if we were great friends for 15 years and I've let you borrow money before? So why would you treat dating any different? Unless a woman has proven herself to you, she doesn't deserve that much, so don't blow your money on her. Once she's proven herself to be worthy, ok, then start doing more for her. A woman who's only willing to go on a date with me because I'm paying doesn't sound very appealing. I'd prefer she wanted to go on a date with me because of me. If you managed to convince a woman for a date because she gets a free night out, sorry, that's not a win. Very true kemosabe.
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