jennifer123 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 I have been seeing him 6 months known longer. See each other a couple of times a week and are exclusive. I have told him I want this to go to the next level. Calls every night, is a good man but while very involved in my life, comes to my house but I don't go to his have not met his adult children, etc. I want to get on with serious committment and we discussed this early on and I then tabled it and just let our relationship blossom. Which it has. We have lots of fun together, get along great with great sex. He seems to be so busy with his adult children an elderly mother and whatever else it is he does. I am becoming more and more unhappy with this limited relationship that was ready to go to the next level some time ago and he says it will but it does not happen. I have never been told I am loved and while I know he cares I need to hear it said. I have been sad because I am almost ready to dump this person that I love because the relationship is not progressing and deep inside I want way more committment. I have made it clear I want to live with the one I love and I want the whole pie. I am holding on to the Valentines Day dream of something great happening that night like maybe an I love you at least...putting a lot of pressure on that date night for sure. I just have this sinking feeling that I will be getting all dressed up and having another really great time which is wonderful in itself but getting the more deeper emotionally let down once again. It is not fair to be limited with this man if he is not going to give me what I need on this deeper level and a waste of both our times. Help please, I just don't know how to make this clearer to him, he is about to lose as he calls me "his girlfriend". Perhaps he will never be ready to make the next step or does not want to but he says he does. But I say actions speak louder than words and we make time for those we love and what we want the most.
Geishawhelk Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 If you're wise, I predict a walk out of the door on the 15th. So far, he's had it all his own way. Sex when he wants it, company when he wants it, and a casual easy ride when he wants it. Not once have you had any validation of what you want. It's going to be hard, painful and a real rip to your heart. But he's made it very plain that you are exactly where he wants to be. "Why the hell fix it if it ain't broken?" Love is about compromise. Think how far he's stepped up to the plate.... Then know what you need to do, is step away.
movingonandon Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 6 months is way too soon to have any such plans or ideas about the future. Basically (at least for me), 6 months is the absolute minimum to gather sufficient information whether this is a person you actually want to have a more serious relationship with. And it seems that you're already expecting actual long term commitment. If you're so anxious, you'll have to decide for yourself, with the information you have right now, if it is worth your while to proceed (or not), and then stick to it. But, commitment is certainly not something he "owes" you. So, just make up your mind. Whatever you decide, just do it - don't give him hard time/ultimatums - most guys will hate this (it sets a terrible precedent) and he could even decide that it is too risky to stick around, even if the relationship is growing on him...
BCCA Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 6 months isnt really long at all, and youre already talking about living together and the 'whole pie', which I would take to mean marrige. That, to me, is way too fast. If you want to develop feelings, you have to let them develop. If you want a hard commitment and assurances for the future, this guy just may not be able to give them to you.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 If you're wise, I predict a walk out of the door on the 15th. So far, he's had it all his own way. Sex when he wants it, company when he wants it, and a casual easy ride when he wants it. Not once have you had any validation of what you want. It's going to be hard, painful and a real rip to your heart. But he's made it very plain that you are exactly where he wants to be. "Why the hell fix it if it ain't broken?" Love is about compromise. Think how far he's stepped up to the plate.... Then know what you need to do, is step away. I agree completely.
nicki Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 All relationships need to progress. An "I love you" would be a good sign. I don't think six months is too early to want that. I'd want it by six months or I'd be thinking of walking.
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