loveman7 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 i cannot believe it...why is it so hard to find a girl who wants to be together with me longer than just a night or 3 month. that was my absolute maximum. i don't know what's wrong. i mean, the girls always told me that the sex and my character was good. so, what's the point. what do they want from me!!!!!!!!!
prettybaby Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 So I'm guessing they're the ones who broke up with you? What reason did they give before they vanished?
PrincessPeach Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 You need to provide at least some information if you want any help or other people's thoughts about it. As it is there is nothing we can even guess about by your post.
Author loveman7 Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 Normally the girls break up with me because they think i'm not confident or sensible enough. NOT serious enough for a longer reationship!!! i mean the sex is fantastic and it's often fun to hang around with me, they say. BUT they do not take me seriously. I don't know why??? is it because i still live together with my parents and like to have fun. i'm a spontaneous guy and love to travel around. i don't care about rules. i'm too young to behave in every situation like an adult!!!! what's wrong about that????
Lucky_One Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 How young? If you are 28 and living with your folks, then you are too old to be unsettled. Sex is great in a car for a while, I guess, but girls might like you better if you had your own place. I have dated guys that were fun - for about 3 months. But honestly, I wanted a man for the long run - not a boy.
Surfer Dude Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Normally the girls break up with me because they think i'm not confident or sensible enough. NOT serious enough for a longer reationship!!! i mean the sex is fantastic and it's often fun to hang around with me, they say. BUT they do not take me seriously. I don't know why??? is it because i still live together with my parents and like to have fun. i'm a spontaneous guy and love to travel around. i don't care about rules. i'm too young to behave in every situation like an adult!!!! what's wrong about that???? And what's wrong with having multiple short term relationships? Man, relationships don't need to last forever. Don't be so outcome minded, be more focused on the experience. Enjoy them while they last. Besides, what would you get by being in a committed LTR? You'd become someone's project and be forced into a lifestyle you don't like (no more traveling, going out etc). I still don't understand why men want to get married... I probably never will.
SirDingleus Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Well you have mentioned the sex being good twice in two posts. And have given little to no detail about anything else in the relationship. Shot in the dark? You are young or at least act it, and when the fun of good sex is not enough (3 months) they realize it and split. Do you ever guilt them into having sex near the end of the relationship? I would guess yes, women tend to start to withhold sex as the they sense the end coming near. Or just to see if you can even function as a couple without it. So again, you are probably just young and acting your age. Or old enough to know better then just talking about sex as if that was all there is to a long term relationship. Put yourself in her shoes, if you guys were not having sex are you still having fun?
Author loveman7 Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 of course..we have fun. it's not all about sex. ok, it is an important aspect in a relationship but not all that matters. at the beginning, sex is more important than in a relationship. i've seen it in relationships of my friends. they work, they travel around and then sex once a week or even less is fine. i don't care...AND i don't desperately look for a girl. it just gets on my nerves that everybody's having relationship!!!
Lucky_One Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 You never said - how old are you, and why are you still living with your parents?
DunnoWhat Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 They're thinking you're not long term relationship material. Ask yourself why this is and work on yourself.
Author loveman7 Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 you really want to know how old i am?? it's so embarrassing. i'm 41..that's the point..my biological clock's running fast, sometimes so fast and visible that i cannot longer ignore it. i've tried serveral dating blogs, parties etc. to get to know someone for a longer relationship BUT it didn't worked out. At latest when they visited me at home, they got pissed because of my parents. Because of my job, i travel around a lot and so for me it makes no sense to have my own flat. i mean who should take care of my stuff, when i'm 3 month abroad or something like that. what should i do??? quit my job???
Lucky_One Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 You have your answer. I am in my early/mid 30's. I have a son. I want to date/be in a relationship with/marry a man. Not a boy. I want a mature, responsible, intelligent financially stable, communicative man (add in fun, humorous, sexy, and a great kisser, please). I want a man who owns his own home, who has his own furniture and his own privacy. I want a man who values his own lifestyle. Doubtful that your "stuff" would need much care, if you cut out pets and plants. No one needs to go stare at your bed and coffee table to make sure that it is ok. Get an alarm system if you are paranoid about security or fires. Girls may also think that you are cheap, and just want your folks to provide for you and take care of you. Another issue may be that you go abroad for 3 months at the time. A lot of women wouldn't like that in a long term partner or husband. It works for some girls, but not for others. When you start building a strong relationship or marriage (to include children), having one partner away for that long is really a struggle. Good luck. But honestly, it is time to cut the apron strings and quit letting your mum do your laundry. Get a place of your own. Prove to the community that you are more than a parental leech.
prettybaby Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Ok, you're 41, you travel months at a time and most important: you still live with your parents. I mean, that's the issue right there. Get your own place and live your own lifestyle. I'm 100% positive your new relationships will improve and last longer once you have your own place.
Author loveman7 Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 it seems you all have the same opinion about what i have to change first: move away from my parents. BUT my mum is quite sensitive and sad since my dad died. i feel bad to leave her. on the other hand, i absolutely agree with you. tomorrow, i meet a friend. he rents and sells flats. maybe he'll find a nice flat close to the house of my mum. i mean, i own a big part of my parents' house, the whole basement is mine BUT you'll right...if i want to have a serious relationship, i first should behave like an adult. sometimes it's hard to understand or realize what the problem is....about my job, it's not that easy. i love my job!!!! for me, it's fun and work!!!! do you think, a woman who really loves me, would travel with me around???? change her life because of me???
Lucky_One Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 It all depends on the woman. Some women love their own careers, and want to devote a fair amount of their time to their own jobs rather than travel with a man in support of the man's job. Some women want to raise a family and stay home, and they might or might not want to do that with a man who is gone three months at the time. Some women would love to travel for months at a time with the man they loved (or even with a man they don't love) if the man is paying for everything. Your mum probably is sad since your dad died, but she also should be understanding of a grown man wanting to live on his own and have a family. You should have flown the nest years ago - this will probably be a hard move.
Author loveman7 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 yesterday i met my friend who rents and sells flat. he has shown me some nice flats today and i was deeply impressed. i think i'll talk to her soon BUT what i should say to her. i don't how to start such a conversation. it's bad timung and i don't want to hurt her!!! i know that's impossible but have you got some good ideas how to deal with that issue. ANd you won't believe who gabe me ring yesterday. a colleague frim my former company...!! she's hot and i can't believe that she wants to meet ME....oh. do you think that's coincidence all these things happen now...
Mahatma Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 Looks like you are on the track of getting your own place, but I will just go ahead and add on that. Once a relationship seems to stick (I would usually say this is around 6 months, but the girl could be thinking about it) the woman will think about what will happen should you get serious and decide to move in together. She will realize she will be living with your parents and it will eat at her.
Author loveman7 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 Tonight's showtime. i'll meet my hot colleage. we had some very long and nice phonecalls the last days and i think she has a little crush on me....But the problem with her is that she is very confident, independant. i'm afraid that she's too adult-like and won't understand my current situation. i mean the story with my parents. maybe, this problem will be solved soon. i looked at some very nice flats close to my mums' house yesterday and i think i fiund the perfect one. i know I've to talk to her a.s.a.p...BUT HOW???? another point about my colleague is that she gave up her job where she had to travel around a lot. now she wants to live at one place. i don't think she can cope with my job. i don't want to change that much in my life because of her. i'm not sure if she's really worth it??? what should i do about my job??? i like her BUT....???
Lucky_One Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Um, loveman? You are putting an entire team of Clydesdales in front of your beer wagon with this woman. Slow down, dude. As for your mom, I think that finding a place close to her is a great idea. She won't feel quite so abandoned, and you are still within a short distance to get to her if she needs help. Remember that she is used to living alone, because you are gone for such long periods of time. I don't know if I would present her with a scenario of "Hey, Mom! I got a new place and I am moving out Saturday! Can I have that bedroom set in the guest room?" I might tell her that you think you need to have a home of your own and explain why. Ask her to come with you to look at a few places, and take her to the flat you like. Ask her help and advice with how to decorate and stuff like that - mothers like to feel helpful and needed and experienced.
Author loveman7 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 that sounds great..ithink tonight, i'll slowly make her understand that i want to move. i also thought about looking together with her for flats. i still haven't found the right one, so i definitely need help. she's always quite objective..good point!!! thanks. and the date yesterday was great and the night as well. at the moment i'm so optimistic and i could hug the whole world. finally, everything's fine in my life. today my boss offered me a better job..it's a great opportunity.
Author loveman7 Posted February 23, 2009 Author Posted February 23, 2009 you won't believe whom i talked to at the weekend about moving away: my mum. at the beginning, she was sad and didn't really know what to say BUT then she slept one night and her behaviour the next day was so positive. cool!!! she was so curious and wanted to know everything about where i'd like to move...today, she helped me finding the right flat. i cannot believe it. what happened to her???? i thought she might kill herself or something like that.....but the problem is, she hates my new girlfriend. yes, we're a couple now, my colleague and i. my mum desperately wanted to meet her. it ended in a big desaster and i don't know why. i just prepared lunch and let both women alone in the dining room and when i came back, my girlfriend was gone. my mum told me something like, that my girlfriend was extremely rude to her but i can't believe it. i tried to call her but she didn't answer. is that a good or bad sign??? what would you do??? should i believe my mum??? or try to talk to my girlfriend again??? maybe, they had an argument because of i want to move away. could you imagine that??
Lucky_One Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 She's your official GF after your first date only 3 nights ago? You know, you seem to be very impetuous and sort of thoughtless in your actions. Do you think hard about what you are going to say or do, or do you just live in the moment? You are in my age range for dating, but just reading your posts here throw up so many red flags that I would have a very hard time going out with you. Glad your mum is helping you with the move; I doubted she would be suicidal. As for the GF thing, that is weird. I would talk to this woman and see what her version of events is. But honestly, you really don't know her at all, and you have known your mother for 40+ years. Whose word would you take at face value?
Author loveman7 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 maybe for you, it seems quite weird that we're already a couple but when i say her, it was like summer, spring etc togehter. i knew from the start that she's something special. i've never felt this before and especially not after a few dates. it's unbelievable...and i thought she feels the same. But now i haven't talked to her for 2 days and i want to know what's wrong. she doesn't open the door or calls me. what is when my mum tells the truth....but that's so crazy. no, i must talk to her but how??? have you got an idea??? mayve i visit her at work??? i don't know why but at the moment i cannot really believe my mum..don't ask me!!! it's just a strange feeling i have!!!
Author loveman7 Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 something really strange goes on. this morning, i went to the company where my "girlfriend" works but when i asked for her, nobody could remember her name. i think she either has lied to me the whole time or her colleagues gave me the wrong information. maybe she told her colleagues that she doesn't want to see me again and that's why they acted so strangely today. BUT what if she's just a fake: fake-job, fake-person....fake the whole time. i cannot believe it. how could she do something like that to me??? i desperately need your help!!!! how can i find her??? have ypu got an idea??? i must talk to her and clean up this messy situation. have you ever heard of such stories??? over night, she seems to be gone, vanished, lost....
GorillaTheater Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I'm sitting here simply aghast after reading your thread. If you hadn't mentioned you were 41 I would have guessed you were 21. Or younger. I took people on a damn internet forum to convince you (in remarkably short order) of what you should have figured out a couple of decades ago: move out and start your own life. I suspect your mom was happy to see you move out, if she's at all healthy emotionally and mentally she probably heaved a giant sigh of relief. And now your obsessing over some gal you barely know. The fact is that you probably scared the crap out of her. My guess is that you don't have much in the way of male friends; otherwise you would have heard the things you've been hearing here over the past week or two years ago. Grow the hell up. Toward that end I'd strongly recommend therapy.
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