AlektraClementine Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 So I just spoke to the boyfriend. He gave me some news. He got a call for work last night, which would be touring gig (he's a production guy). He said it was from March to September. 7 months. He is going to call them back today and get more information. He said he had a hard time sleeping last night and he sounds really stressed about the decision. I didn't say much. I plan to ask more questions later after he's spoken to them. My question is, how would you feel about the idea of your SO being gone for 7 months? I've made it through with him and his touring for a year. 2 months on, 1 month off. 3 weeks on, 1 week off. 1 week on, 3 months off. I'm pretty used to it. But he's never been gone this long before and I'm not sure how I feel about it. It makes me kinda sad. Kinda worried. The job is with a pretty high profile Indie artist and he'd be tour managing which I know would be awesome for his resume. I'm torn between feeling supportive of his career and feeling anxious about how this will effect our relationship. We've been talking recently about marriage and the like. Any comment? Suggestions? Talking points I should remember to bring up when we discuss this?
dreamergrl Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Would you be able to meet up with him for visits?
Squirtal Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Hey Would it be touring the country? Or would it be going internationally? I used to work in the theatre myself, I never toured but had many tour companies coming through. Partners of the artistes would come and visit at different locations and the artistes and crew would also make an effort to get home to their partners if there wasn't too much of a distance. I had one bf who travelled 4 hours to spend a Sunday with me before he had to get off to other venues. Find out the tour list and see what is viable for you both to visit, for him to stay at home and commute and for you to stay at his digs. Each venue should have a digs list or a hotel list. As Production manager I would assume that the last night would be the hardest as he would have to over see the get out so that may be a long one, but I'm sure you could work something out. I saw a lot of loving loyal and strong relationships survive, even when there were long tours, because both couples made the effort.
Author AlektraClementine Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 That's one of the questions I intend to ask. Typically when these bands tour, they do get off days but they're wherever they happen to be in the world. He said it sounds like a record promotion tour which means it'll be pretty much non-stop. So I'm not sure if he'll have any time off at home.
Author AlektraClementine Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 Hey Would it be touring the country? Or would it be going internationally? I used to work in the theatre myself, I never toured but had many tour companies coming through. Partners of the artistes would come and visit at different locations and the artistes and crew would also make an effort to get home to their partners if there wasn't too much of a distance. I had one bf who travelled 4 hours to spend a Sunday with me before he had to get off to other venues. Find out the tour list and see what is viable for you both to visit, for him to stay at home and commute and for you to stay at his digs. Each venue should have a digs list or a hotel list. As Production manager I would assume that the last night would be the hardest as he would have to over see the get out so that may be a long one, but I'm sure you could work something out. I saw a lot of loving loyal and strong relationships survive, even when there were long tours, because both couples made the effort. It's a world tour. Kicks off in a country far far away from the states. I have a child so traveling is not something very easy for me to do. He'll probably send me the schedule and we can work it out from there. That's actually a good idea. We can go through it together and see about options for time together. Gosh it just seems like such a long time.
Squirtal Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 It may seem a long time, but to a strong relationship it will fly by Is it a lot of one nighters, or a week here and there? You never know if its a week here and there you could take your little one for a holiday too.
Author AlektraClementine Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 just checked out the artist's web site and it looks like it's consistent through the end of April. I see nothing for May. That could mean a month off or it could mean that they just haven't posted them. Picks back up in June. I suppose I just need to wait and speak to him. I was hoping to spend this year kind of getting our lives and affairs in order so that we could seriously start considering marriage. I worry that this will put things off. I know that sounds selfish and of course I support him. He said recently that our relationship is his number one priority. And I understand that a man has to have a job in order to support a family. I get it. This is his job. This was his job when I signed on. I feel like I just need to take the back seat here.
Squirtal Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Not selfish at all. Totally natural. But you know what...it just could and theres a very good chance it will cement your relationship even further.
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