DayvanCowboy Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 She found out that I used someone's advice, and the advice was dead wrong. If anything it made things worse. She says she can't forgive that. What can I do or say to make her forgive me?
Tony T Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 She found out that I used someone's advice, and the advice was dead wrong. If anything it made things worse. Your post is extremely vague so it's difficult to answer. Just on the surface, if this lady can't appreciate the fact that you thought enough of her to seek advice at all then tell her to go screw herself!
Geishawhelk Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 You can't "make" anyone do anything, if they don't want to do it. Maybe she's just using that as a front and excuse to distance herself from you....? Is her attitude to things like this, representative of how she feels, or is it unusual? If it's unexpected, I would think she's grasping at straws to move on..... Agreed, you post is very vague... More info might help us be more precise with our constructive comments.....
Ronni_W Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 What can I do or say to make her forgive me? Stop blaming the person whose advice YOU CHOSE to follow, would be a start. Explain your own reasons for choosing that advice. Tell her what it was about the advice that YOU thought would help the situation. Tell her what you intended/hoped would be the actual outcome. Say that you're sorry for your part in making things worse, not better. And then hope that that will be sufficient for her. But also realize that Geisha is right...you cannot actually "force" her to forgive you (or think, feel, do or say anything else, for that matter.)
Author DayvanCowboy Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 Thanks for the replies. She always gets real sensitive to some of the things I have said and distances herself. Its kinda tough to deal with. She got heated when I just thought she was ignoring me and became distant for a week. Now I sent her an e-mail because I got worried since she is going to spend saturday (V-day) with her guy friend in Brooklyn (out of all places). She says they are just friends and that he never upsets her. So i mentioned what someone told me here. That when he is gone and is not available then I become available to chat with her. She is super pissed at me.
Ronni_W Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 So i mentioned what someone told me here. That when he is gone and is not available then I become available to chat with her. Lemme see if I understand it correctly: She got pissed when you told her that you feel as if she just uses you as a "fill in" for when the other guy is not around? If that is the case, then what you told her is true...and she's not pissed at you, as much as she is pissed that you called her on how crappy she's been treating you. Is she your girlfriend, or are you hoping for her to become your g/f? If you want to find out where you stand, ask her to change her plans and spend Valentine's Day with you, instead. If she "cannot" that means she doesn't want to (she prefers spending 'prime time' with the other guy), which means she is not serious enough about you. And then you can decide whether or not you want to stay as her "back up" for when she has nothing better to do, or whether you want to go total 'no contact'. (The advice you got wasn't "wrong" -- it helped you to find out what you need to know.)
Recommended Posts