ChicChick122 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Hi, I am in a very frustrated predicament and am on the verge of ending whatever connection I share with a current guy I'm talking to. Unlike any past guys I've dated, my current crush is EXTREMELY SHY. In December, I approached him first, technically, since I asked his friend to put a good word for me, which didn't turn out good since he ended up telling his friend that "he doesn't know" in response. Fast forward a week from that incident, and he requested me on Facebook. After two days I accepted him, and we began messaging eachother, and later traded screen names. We talked and shared common interests and usual information...and exchanged numbers. I invited him to hang out with a group of my friends and even some of his on two occasions, and he showed up to both (he was even sick on one of them and still made it). Although he NEVER CALLS OR TEXTS ME(except to ask for times to meet up/locations) he manages to IM me every day or every other day of the week. We have long conversations that I greatly enjoy and he continues conversation very well and flirts a lot. Last Saturday, he told my friend that he was going to tell me he likes me and make a move when he saw me in person....but....HE DID NOTHING WHEN I SAW HIM. His friends have told me numerous times that he hasn't had a "real" relationship, lacks experience with girls, and that he is incredibly shy...but regardless I feel like he has to make the first move, since I've done a lot of the work. Now it's February...we've been hanging out/IMing for two months already and HE STILL HASN'T TOLD ME HE LIKES ME!!!! I know for a fact he does, because all of his close friends have told me that he told them already, I can tell obviously, and soo can everyone else in their right mind!! I like him a lot which is why I have stuck around. He is very sincere, smart, and we are very compatible. Can someone please tell me what I'm doing wrong, and how on earth can I ask him if he likes me or not. I don't want to be too straight forward either..Or should I continue to wait it out and see if he finally tells me? SORRY THIS TURNED INTO AN EPIC NOVEL....THANKS FOR READING
Charles1978 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Maybe he knows they told you that he likes you and doesn't feel the need to have that awkward and now unnecessary conversation. Don't worry about it... keep hanging out with him and wait for him to make a move if you like. But don't worry about him telling you... just let his actions speak. Chances are he knows that you know.
Flamenco81 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Speaking as a shy guy. First of I am jealous of his situation. I myself have been in the situation that I like a girl, she knows I like her and I have to be brave and try and make a move but in my case I am not sure if she likes me that way. So he has a huge advantage that I don't know why he is not using. But speaking for myself, if I was in your situation and you just took the initiative it would be great. Maybe if you are together sometime and he is sort of flirting you can go ahead and ask him "do you want to kiss me?". I don't know a guy that would say no to that.
prettybaby Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 I really don't think it's important whether he tells you he likes you or not. As long as your interactions/relationship is progressing with every date. It's hard enough for regular guys to say their feelings out loud. If your guy is shy on top of it, don't put that extra pressure on him. Just go with the flow. There's no real need for a love confession after just 2 months of dating. I'm dating a shy guy too, and things have moved slower than with other guys in the past. Under regular circumstances, I probably would have gotten tired of the slow pace and either told him to step it up a notch (which probably would have ruined it), or walked away. However, I like him sooo much. He clearly does too, he doesn't need to tell me for me to see it. So I don't mind moving slower this time. Something I *did* notice - and which might help you - I've had to make more obvious moves with him than with anybody else before. I think shy guys tend to self-doubt a lot, and even when you think you're being obvious, they'll still wonder whether it's just in their head or what. So be clear with your actions. Initiate some physical contact, and show interest and care. He'll open up when he starts to feel comfortable. And don't count the dates and weeks; those time rules can be thrown out the window with shy men. As long as it's consistently evolving, it's all that matters.
Oliveman Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Maybe if you are together sometime and he is sort of flirting you can go ahead and ask him "do you want to kiss me?". I don't know a guy that would say no to that. Ummm don't ask him if he wants you to kiss him....if you want to kiss him just do it. Especially with a shy guy...his "Well do you want me to?" or whatever he'll end up saying would kill whatever moment you were having. And I don't feel like keeping score is the best way to go about starting a new relationship. You said you feel he should make the first move since you've done a lot of the work? Relationships are give and take. Maybe he just needs a push in the right direction to get him going.
You'reasian Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Last Saturday, he told my friend that he was going to tell me he likes me and make a move when he saw me in person....but....HE DID NOTHING WHEN I SAW HIM. His friends have told me numerous times that he hasn't had a "real" relationship, lacks experience with girls, and that he is incredibly shy...but regardless I feel like he has to make the first move, since I've done a lot of the work. Now it's February...we've been hanging out/IMing for two months already and HE STILL HASN'T TOLD ME HE LIKES ME!!!! I know for a fact he does, because all of his close friends have told me that he told them already, I can tell obviously, and soo can everyone else in their right mind!! I like him a lot which is why I have stuck around. He is very sincere, smart, and we are very compatible. Can someone please tell me what I'm doing wrong, and how on earth can I ask him if he likes me or not. I don't want to be too straight forward either..Or should I continue to wait it out and see if he finally tells me? SORRY THIS TURNED INTO AN EPIC NOVEL....THANKS FOR READING Next time you see him, try to get a little physical with him.
Recommended Posts