chris250 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Here is my dating guide for those who men who are interested in going out on more than 1 date and are looking for a LTR that may lead to marriage. A. When you meet a girl you are interested in talk to her for about 7-13 minutes and then ask for her phone number. Asking for the phone number is the only way to know if she's married or has a boyfriend or is not interested. If anything else comes out of her mouth besides those 7 digits then move on. Make sure you take plenty of paper and ink for your pen when you go out in public because you never know when you might get a woman's #. B. If you successfully get her 7 digits then wait 7-10 days to call her. Why? because this is another test that reveals her interest level. Interest level is basically the woman's temperature of attraction to you. Interest level from 51%-100% is considered romantic interest. 0%-49% is really NO romantic interest. If she has 51%-100% interest level in you when you asked for the phone number then she will not forget about you after 1 week. If she forgets your name after a week then it just proves that she had 0%-49% interest level. If you want more than a friendship then 0%-49% interest level is really a lost cause and does not count as genuine interest level. I often times use the terms "low interest level" or "no interest level" interchangeably. So low interest level is really the same as no interest level unless you are ok with being in the friend-zone. But this guide is not for men who are just looking to make more friends. C. After waiting 7-10 days call her up and ask her to meet you at starbucks. Be sure to set the date 5-8 days out. Don't call her on a Friday or Saturday under any circumstances. For example if you call her on a Sunday then ask her out for the following Sunday. If you call on a Tuesday then ask her out for the following Monday. No sooner than that. Don't ask her out for Fridays & Saturdays. Don't have contact with her at all on those days. Those are sacred nights reserved for later when she agrees to be your exclusive girlfriend. Try not to talk on the phone for more than 3-5 minutes! D. The first date should be cheap like starbucks or sodas or ice cream, etc. Those are suggestions. The point is not to spend anymore than 12$ on the 1st date. Try to keep the date at 90 minutes or less. Dress up in a suit. Look sharp. Shine your shoes, brush your teeth, shave, clean the car, etc. Making it a point to be a real cheapskate on the first date will help you to weed out the gold diggers and those women who are more interested in getting a free meal than in getting to know you. Besides there is no guarantee she will accept a 2nd date with you just because you take her to a fancy restaraunt and spend 200$ on her meal. E. After the first date wait another 7-10 days before calling again to ask her out for a 2nd date. Again set the date 5-8 days out. This time take her to a bowling alley or shoot pool. Keep conversations light & funny. Don't bring up topics on politics or religion or any other heavy subjects. F. As long as she accepts the dates keep asking her out from dates 2 through 12. Some ideas for those following dates include: picnics on sunday afternoons, taking her to the zoo, taking her to a musem, going to a movie, hiking, taking her to a restaraunt like applebees by the 5th date, cooking dinner for her, etc. I don't care what you do as long as you make it a point to do something different on each date. Don't accept invitations into her house until she agrees to become your girlfriend. More on that later. G. Now after date 12 (3-4 months) her interest level in you should be rising into the lower 80s. This is when she will likely ask you to be her boyfriend. This is where I believe men should be passive. Men should take the initiative when it comes to asking her out on dates, making reservations, paying all the expenses, opening doors for her, pulling her chair out, sending the parents thank you cards if her parents were kind enough to invite you over to their house for dinner, etc. When it comes to taking the relationship to a higher level such as going steady/exclusive/boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. then the man should not take initiative. He should wait for her to come to him. It's always the woman's call as to how far to take the relationship and how fast. The ball is in her court. Why? because her interest level is the only one that counts in this relationship. Don't think for one minute that she cares about your interest level. Men should keep their high interest level to themselves until she starts talking about her high interest level. Even if my interest level in the girl is 120% I should only express 60% interest level when her interest level is 70%. Don't worry she knows you are interested in her or else you wouldn't continue to ask her out on dates. She can read your interest by your actions. If after 12-15 dates she's not asking you to be her boyfriend then maybe it is time to move on and start dating other girls as her interest level may not be high. You don't want to risk wasting more time for nothing. H. Let's say she starts asking to be exclusive. That means her interest level is at the minimum 80%-85%. You'll know this because one of the first things that comes out of her mouth is "by the way how come you never take me out on Fridays and Saturdays?" That's the point at which you can start giving her your Fridays and Saturdays. At this point you can drop the 7-10 day rule and call her 2 to 3 times per week but don't talk for more than 20 minutes. Make it a point to see her 2 to 3 times per week. I. As the relationship progresses and you all get past the honeymoon stage which usually lasts anywhere from 9 months to 1 year you may start seeing her do things that you don't agree with. Here's my theory. Don't ever argue with a woman no matter how much you believe she's wrong. Keep it to yourself. Don't challenge her. If you need someone to vent to about how she's treating you then come to LS and post about it or post on another forum. Don't talk about it to anyone in the offline world because there's a good chance the word will get out to her. Most important of all is do NOT lecture her when she has offended you in some way. A man who lectures is a huge turn off and she will tune him out faster than a heartbeat. Your best bet is to keep your mouth shut and pray that she'll discover the error of what she's doing on her own. Let her come to her own conclusions if she is not treating you right. If she apologizes to you then just tell her "sweetheart there's nothing you've done that needs to be forgiven for." J. A good rule of thumb is to go steady for the next 4 years and then wait for her to ask you to get engaged. When her interest level is near 100% she will eventually ask you to marry her. I don't care how conservative or religious or traditionalist she is. When a woman's interest level is 100% sooner or later their pride or traditionalism goes out the window and she will crack. If she asks you to marry her tell her that you need to check with her father first. Ask her father's permission. If he gives his blessing then go ahead and buy the engagement ring and then give a surprise proposal to her. This is the one and only time when it's ok for a man to get down on his knees so make the most of it. If for some reason her father doesn't give his blessing then do NOT marry her! It's usually a red flag if her father says no. She may be upset or hurt for a time but she will eventually respect you for valuing her father's opinion of the relationship. If the relationship must end then at least get out in a way that she will respect you for it later. Afterall her father is just looking out for the best interests of his daughter. Maybe he sees something about the relationship that his daughter has turned a blind eye to. It's not enough for your potential future wife to have high interest level in you. Her family especially her father must think very highly of you too. Yes I understand there are exceptions like if her father was very abusive. K. What about sex? How many dates should I go on before sleeping with her? Well the best thing to do is wait for her to initiate sex with you. Don't kiss her until the end of the 4th date. Shake hands goodnight on the first 3 dates. Other than a kiss a man should not initiate any touching. But be a gentleman and keep your hands to yourself. If she wants to molest you on all the dates that's fine but still keep your hands to yourself. After she has agreed to become your girlfriend then you can safely initiate sex once for every 3 times she does. Use protection. Put on 2 condoms. Have her use a spermicde gel. Use all the backup protection you can. Get a vasectomy and save sperm for later for when you are ready to have kids. L. If you see signs of your girlfriend losing interest level and dumping you down the road be sure to get out of the relationship first. Yes it will hurt but at least you'll keep your dignity. It hurts much less to be the dumper than the dumpee. When you dump her go over to her house and tell her why you are ending it. Women typically don't make the decision to dump a guy overnight. The thought of breaking up with her boyfriend will fester inside for a good 3-6 months before she gives the breakup speech. Which means if your girlfriend broke up with you last night then most likely she's thought about it ever since August of 2008. Good luck with using this guide to find your lifetime mate. This guide will protect your heart, time & wallet. Once her interest level drops below 50% it's pretty much a lost cause unless a miracle from God moves it back up. If you see any signs of her losing interest (which happens gradually and it's subtle) then you can try withdrawing and being less available and not initiating calls or affection but that's no guarantee it will help to rebound her interest. By the time a man sees obvious signs that she's losing interest it's usually too late to repair the damage. The subtle signs of falling interest usually happen before it goes below 50%. Most men don't detect the subtle signs because it's much easier to make excuses for the subtle changes in a woman's behavior. So the obvious signs are indicators of borderline interest at the very best. Obvious signs that she's losing interest include but are not limited to the following: 1. She usually touches you at least twice on every date but she has gone 1 or more dates without initiating touching at all. 2. She picks fights with you. 3. She doesn't call you every night when she used to. 4. She turns down sex more than once a month. 5. She doesn't care if you hang out with your female friends when she used to get easily jealous when you would even talk to them. 6. She doesn't come to your house anymore. 7. Her friends don't like you.
The Collector Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Don't ever argue with a woman no matter how much you believe she's wrong. Keep it to yourself. Don't challenge her. Most important of all is do NOT lecture her when she has offended you in some way. A man who lectures is a huge turn off and she will tune him out faster than a heartbeat. Your best bet is to keep your mouth shut and pray that she'll discover the error of what she's doing on her own. Let her come to her own conclusions if she is not treating you right. If she apologizes to you then just tell her "sweetheart there's nothing you've done that needs to be forgiven for." Oh. My. God.
voldigicam Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 It's actually quite astute. This should work at weeding through folks. Unfortunately, the "real thing" is sometimes really weird. My current SO I met when she and her brother were in a kayak in a lake. I was lonely (first wife left). I asked her over for dinner at her brother's suggestion. She actually came over. I was, of course, a perfect gentleman. She wrote a nice thank you note. Which I still have. Date 2, she sat next to me. I think there was a hug and a minor touch of lips. Somewhere around date four she let her skirt rise up and expose old fashioned hose and garters. I don't think she went home that time. She's still here, 2 kids later. We've chatted about it and both knew what was going to happen within 20 minutes of her arriving here the first time. She was always in control of the speed of things. That seems to work very well. But I didn't play hard to get. Just laid back.
chrislovestosurf Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 "Don't ever argue with a woman no matter how much you believe she's wrong. Keep it to yourself. Don't challenge her. Let her come to her own conclusions if she is not treating you right. If she apologizes to you then just tell her "sweetheart there's nothing you've done that needs to be forgiven for." Youre kidding right? Women dont want to date a doormat dude. Its one thing to be easy going and tolerant of certain things but another to be a pushover.
You'reasian Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Wow, that's complex, my friend. I express interest in the girl upfront. If she plays games or expresses disinterest, I move on.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 :lmao: I don't even ****ing know where to start. :lmao:
infophreak Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Use protection. Put on 2 condoms. Have her use a spermicde gel. Use all the backup protection you can. Using two condoms is an awful idea, please correct this misinformation. If someone is that worried about having kids, the better idea would be not to have sex.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Using two condoms is an awful idea, please correct this misinformation. If someone is that worried about having kids, the better idea would be not to have sex. Besides the fact that when you wear two, they are more likely to fail because this is NOT the way they were designed to be used. The friction between the two condoms can cause them to break. Chris, you're a freaking genius.
Author chris250 Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 Using two condoms is an awful idea, please correct this misinformation. If someone is that worried about having kids, the better idea would be not to have sex. In an ideal world I would have put abstinence in my guide because that's what I personally choose but realistically I know that most men won't be up for the abstinence path.
Citizen Erased Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 I want the last two minutes of my life back Chris.
Squirtal Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 HAHAHA.. Chris you are funny. In the nicest possible way.
Citizen Erased Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Seriously, I'm coming for you. :mad:
Geishawhelk Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 I like the fact that he's told me he's ignoring my posts, because I never have anything useful to contribute.
Squirtal Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Hey Geisha... so pot or kettle there? LOL Bless him. Hes special.
Island Girl Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Oh. My. God. Frickin' Hilarious! I want the last two minutes of my life back Chris. Laugh out loud funny! Truly! Seriously, I'm coming for you. :mad: And then it gets EVEN BETTER! THANK YOU!! I like the fact that he's told me he's ignoring my posts, because I never have anything useful to contribute. I saw you posted Geisha so I had to read the thread. I am so glad I did! What hilariousness! LMFAO!!
Enema Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 What are your credentials chris? Why should we take your advice over any other deluded hobo?
anne1707 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 D. The first date should be cheap like starbucks or sodas or ice cream, etc. . And if she is over 18 years old?
JamesM Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 And if she is over 18 years old? That would be weird. If you have followed any of Chris's other threads, then you may remember that he isn't going to start dating until he is 70. What can I say, Chris? If I had had your dating tips, then I might still be looking for a wife.
alphamale Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 for better advice you should see Alphamale's Guide to Keeping Women Around http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t61606/
dreamergrl Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 I don't even know what to say to this. I feel as though I've lost a few brain cells just from reading that (stupid me, I should have known better to open up this thread, but it's always like, I wonder what bs Chris is writing now). Am I the only one here that would lose interest if someone took that long to call me, then that long to go on the date? ? Chris, did you ever have to learn how to put a condom on a banana when you were in sex ed?
dreamergrl Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Chris, you said you rely on divine intervention. Did God tell you this dating tips? If so... maybe he's trying to keep you away from the girls
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