Joker77 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 To the ones having a rough time, I can't stress it enough. Go no contact. I have to actually thank my ex for affording me that luxury. I think she has had her sister fish around for info a couple of times, but other than that, she hasn't contacted me at all. I'm glad she hasn't. It has made the healing move along so much faster, almost to the point where I don't care about her any longer. Granted I will always care about her, but I don't care what she does from here on out. Her dumping me has been the best thing that has happened to me. Because of it, I have motivated myself to join the gym and I've been in there 3-5 times a week busting my tail off. Again, I can't thank her enough. It's the nicest thing she's done for me. To all of you struggling right now...it will get better. How quickly depends on you though.
IcemanJB Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 i just want some god damn REVENGE Take the high road. We've all had thoughts like you're having, but don't do anything stupid. The best revenge is to move on and act like she doesn't exist. You'll be glad down the road. Joker, I'm in about the same boat as you. Although my ex was contacting me for awhile after the breakup, I eventually told her to stop, and she did. I'm very thankful she did. She sent me one final email after I told her I wanted NC, saying she's never felt to awful, so sorry, still isn't over it, contact her as soon as i can, blah blah blah! The greatest thing she's done so far is honor my request for NC. It shows she cares, and knows why I need it. Since that point, I've gotten in better shape, been hired full time even before I've graduated, and reconnected with my friends. Maybe, just MAYBE i'll wish her happy birthday in a couple weeks. Once I convince myself I have no ulterior motives through it, I probably will. OP, how long in NC are you?
Frankasy Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 True, no contact is simply amazing. Well I haven't been in contact with her since January the third. At first it was terribly hard, I had to reorganize my lifestyle, sometimes I wanted to tell her that I felt miserable, that I missed her etc but I always stayed strong. Than like the dude who said revenge, I thought of getting my revenge, at first I had a lot of pretty bad thoughts in mind, after a while I just wanted to call her and throw everything in her face but eventually I didn't even wanted to hear her voice again because it wasn't worth it. All of these happened in my first 2 weeks of NC. Now I hardly even think of her.
aiina Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 It also helps to realize how your ex is as a person. If they loved you and respect you, they will keep the NC, if they don't they will come trying to fool around and keep us as a safety blank for as long as they want. What I find from reading other forum mates is that, even when they praise NC, they don't accept completely that the relationship is OVER and keep thinking of the day they will talk, or write, or text, or even second chances .... it's curious
TheDarkSide Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 No contact is the best weapon, when you disappear from he or she lives and they truly loved, they would always remember you. Especially if you got dump and u cut them off completely and theres no info about you to...Its hard at first but then u realize its ur best bet
Author Joker77 Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 i just want some god damn REVENGE No revenge dude. Take the high road and make them wonder what the heck happened to you. That's why I love NC. She has no idea what I'm doing. She has sent out a couple of feelers through a mutual friend and her sister, but I really don't give them much info and I love that she will always be guessing as to what she threw away. Doesn't matter now. I've moved on and I'm a lot better off than playing the emotional roller coaster game I played on and off for almost six months.
sad_panda Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 What if they contact you? He greeted me a happy birthday last Monday via s text message. I replied "thanks" out of politeness. I'm happy that his greeting didn't give way to a flood of emotions. My initial reaction was surprise, then I shrugged it off easily. I did feel a little bit wistful though.
Asami Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 True, no contact is simply amazing. Well I haven't been in contact with her since January the third. At first it was terribly hard, I had to reorganize my lifestyle, sometimes I wanted to tell her that I felt miserable, that I missed her etc but I always stayed strong. Than like the dude who said revenge, I thought of getting my revenge, at first I had a lot of pretty bad thoughts in mind, after a while I just wanted to call her and throw everything in her face but eventually I didn't even wanted to hear her voice again because it wasn't worth it. All of these happened in my first 2 weeks of NC. Now I hardly even think of her. It dosen't feel amazing right now..I had to start all over again since I tried contacting him yesterday after NC for 2 weeks..some days I'm fine and some days I feel like sh*t especially when I got ignored...I don't know why I do this to myself since he's made it crystal clear...
Author Joker77 Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 What if they contact you? He greeted me a happy birthday last Monday via s text message. I replied "thanks" out of politeness. I'm happy that his greeting didn't give way to a flood of emotions. My initial reaction was surprise, then I shrugged it off easily. I did feel a little bit wistful though. I would say don't respond. The dumper needs to feel validated for some odd egotistical reason. They want you to respond so they can feel good about themselves. I say don't give them the honor.
Author Joker77 Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 It dosen't feel amazing right now..I had to start all over again since I tried contacting him yesterday after NC for 2 weeks..some days I'm fine and some days I feel like sh*t especially when I got ignored...I don't know why I do this to myself since he's made it crystal clear... That's why you need to keep busy all you can. Sitting around dwelling on it won't help you at all.
Frankasy Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 It dosen't feel amazing right now..I had to start all over again since I tried contacting him yesterday after NC for 2 weeks..some days I'm fine and some days I feel like sh*t especially when I got ignored...I don't know why I do this to myself since he's made it crystal clear... Well it doesn't cause you bought it upon yourself, you broke NC hoping for a reply. Unlike you, he was strong and decided that NC was the best way so he ignored you. Nothing new here.
Asami Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Well it doesn't cause you bought it upon yourself, you broke NC hoping for a reply. Unlike you, he was strong and decided that NC was the best way so he ignored you. Nothing new here.[/quote] you're right I did and I fear that I have only made things worse for myself because yesterday I recieved the " it's over and by the way I am in town so I am going to drop off your stuff email...." I'm not feeling sorry for myself here ..but I could have definately avoided that..
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