lili Posted September 29, 2003 Posted September 29, 2003 my boyfriend and me have been living together for a while now and we both work but he works fulltime and i work parttime so we split the bills that he pays more cuz he makes more. the other day he off handed made a comment "i have to earn my keep" then laughed about it, and i tried to let it roll off my back and blow it off but it was hurtful. he is a driving force in my life and lets me never slack off from work, which is good to a point but one day i was literally sick and the next still not feeling the best but better but he got mad that i did not go to work, that i could sit and watch tv but not go to work. it takes no effort to watch tv i tried to tell him but moving around too much made my stomach ache more so i tried to just keep resting. but because i could get up and talk on phone, eat some, not much, and take a shower, so he thought i was well enough to go to work. so because i had jobs i missed, he says that comment. that hurt, what does that say about me, that i don't pull my weight, is that what he thinks by his remark?
Bill Posted September 29, 2003 Posted September 29, 2003 He means that you have to do work to stay with him. That's what his statement meant. He wants your support as well. He should not of been mad when you were sick. That's just being disrespectful.
lili Posted October 2, 2003 Posted October 2, 2003 so what you are saying is that it is okay for him to be mad at me when i have a day off from work, that i am to be working anyway even if i have a day off, he thinks i should look for more work. but when i am working then he is quite happy with me. i understand the needing to pull my own weight and i think that i do just that, but i don't know how i should feel when he gets mad at me when i dont have a job versus when i do have a job. it is llike two different people i live with then.
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted October 2, 2003 Posted October 2, 2003 i have a brother like that ,his wife is laid off,so hes always saying things to her .the way i see it,if they feel they dont make enough get a better job.IT IS NOT RIGHT FOR HIM TO GET MAD AT WHEN YOU ARE SICK!!i've went to work sick many times its not good, you feel like crap and people are hassling you.it feels like the day will never end. So let him know how you feel about the situation.
Baubles Posted October 8, 2003 Posted October 8, 2003 are you making the same $$$ he is- by working part-time- that is, do you contribute equal $$ as he does? Do you have children you are taking care of at home? If the answer is no, I don't blame him- why don't you work more hours? What happens if he loses his job? Would you be able to pay all the bills temporarily when you just work part-time- that probably is stressful for him. I'd be annoyed if I worked full-time then came home to someone who only had half a tiring week I did. As to being sick, yes, that was wrong of him...but it may just be the only time he could confront you that seeing you or thinking of you lounging around the house while he worked was annoying him. Unless, you make MUCH MORE per hour than he does and/or have children at home- I'd suggest you work more hours or get a 2nd job- not just to help this relationship but for your own security.
Baubles Posted October 8, 2003 Posted October 8, 2003 if the $$$ didn't matter to you and he was just fine w/ paying more than you- then he wouldn't have made that comment. It does bother him and you should be paying equal (or trying to). If you live somewhere that w/ 40 hrs of work you still cannot make half of the bills- then you should either move as a couple some place you can contribute more equally. Again, if it didn't matter to him- it wouldn't be a prob- but it does matter and you should at least put forth the effort to contribute more and/or at least not be so upset when he makes off handed comments that it is wearing on him...I'm just amazed he's as generous as he is- when really, you're a girlfriend/roommate - not his wife. He's not obligated to help support you, regardless of how much he makes.
Baubles Posted October 8, 2003 Posted October 8, 2003 my goodness, upon rereading you mentioned you missed "jobs" that day...and you wrok only part-time how many jobs do you have in a day? What work do you do- me hopes it's not illicet!
Semperfi_Honey Posted October 9, 2003 Posted October 9, 2003 maybe the both of you should have discussed about allt his before you moved in together but i guess its too klate now. go find another job to supplement your expenditure
jacob11410 Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 i think that ur bf is a really big jerk and you should confront him. i know i wouldnt treet my girl friend like that. if ur sick ur sick dont go 2 work and if you feel fine then go to work. But you should get longer hours just incase he dumps you so your not on the street. If he does that again tell me ill come over.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 If you can't give 100% at the office because you're feeling sick, well that is what sick leave is for. If you don't have sick leave, then I can see why he's upset...it's just the cash flow thing, not that I agree with him. If I have a virus and feel well enough to work, I don't think my coworkers would appreciate me spreading my germs around them, hacking and coughing all over and handing some paperwork to them, or putting my germy hands on their mouse helping with their computers. I wouldn't want a sick person around me either. Just talk to him about how his comment made you feel....maybe he had a "moment" and doesn't even realize what he said....so you can forget too, or remind him.
Recommended Posts