mortensorchid Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Here is a question I have based on my experiences I have had on line verses real life. I am of the mindset that the man should make the first move when you meet them. If he doesn't call then he's not interested, etc. Women should "play hard to get" just like they say in The Rules. However, are the rules of the game different on line? As an experiment, I sent a wink or a message to a guy who for whatever reason I found attractive. None of them have responded. Not one. Coincidence? Please tell me what others think. Should women wait to be approached by men on line?
BCCA Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Honestly, I've had several women send me a 'wink', and then not responded when I emailed them. To me, the amount of game playing that goes on with online dating is 10x what it is in real life. I've known a lot of women to sign up with no intentions of meeting anyone, and 9/10 times, they dont return emails at all. Here is the deal, women want to be treated equally and be viewed as independent, yet they want to still be able to sit on their butt and make no efforts, hoping men just flock to them. It doesnt work that way, there is a trade off. If you find someone attrative or worth talking to, email them or something. I would be flattered, most guys would. Please throw the 'Rules' in the biggest, stinkiest dumpster you can find. Its out dated, and basically a guide to manipulation. People dont like games, and thats really all it is. Ive found that myself and many other men these days dont spend the same effort on one girl that they used to, so if I feel like I'm getting played, I'm out.
clv0116 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 As an experiment, I sent a wink or a message to a guy who for whatever reason I found attractive. None of them have responded. Not one. Coincidence? Please tell me what others think. Should women wait to be approached by men on line? It has nothing to do with whether you approach or not. He's out of your league. You are looking too far up market and he's not interested. It's probably that simple. I always respond if she's worth my time to respond to when someone sends a wink. But I just delete or ignore many a day because I'm sick of responding to each one. I created a profile on eHarmony a while back and I still get an assload of old hens trying to get a date. Just take this as well intentioned advice, not an attack. If you wanna see if it's true ping a few guys lower on the dating food chain - you will get replies.
BCCA Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 clv0116 actually touched on something else I wasnt going to mention before, but might as well now. Women tend to have a sense of entitlment when it comes to (online) dating. They expect that the best of the best will flock to them, and that sending a wink ensures them a response. Not so. I tried eharmony, too, and he is right...I would get mounds of interested women that were 10+ years older than me and lived 100+ miles away (in one case, she was 38 and lived the next state over. come on). I didnt respond to many, if it all, just because I wasnt even interested enough to correspond with them. I don't mean to be harsh, but I even became annoyed at times that these women even thought that they were what a 25 year old guy was looking for, when I specifically stated otherwise. Not everyone is going to want to date you or even talk to you. Its WAY worse for guys, trust me. If youre interested, next time, send an email. Some people also use the 'wink' feature on match because its free and they dont have a subscription. And be prepared, guys may just plain ignore it. It happens to millions of guys everday. I would be willing to bet that 90% of online dating emails are sent by men, and about 60% of those go unaswered.
clv0116 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 clv0116 actually touched on something else I wasnt going to mention before, but might as well now. Ya just stay in my wake and you'll be fine, the arrows shouldn't go all the way through.
You'reasian Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 If a woman plays hard to get with me, I take it that there's gotta be another guy out there whom she will be interested in enough to play not so hard to get and I'm okay with that.
Author mortensorchid Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 Well, I guess I have no real answer except it's a shot in the dark. I guess the universe is all relative.
carhill Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Hey, when women chat me up here on LS, I always respond. If you like the little boy on the tricycle, send him a message. He doesn't bite... much Seriously, back when I dated online, it was American Singles and Matchmaker (eons ago), I never had a problem responding to women who contacted me. Made some good friends that way. One of them became my wife.
movingonandon Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 As was said multiple times here - no mystery, they just didn't like your profile enough to respond. Responding to a wink is a very low transaction cost, so most guys will not hesitate to do it for any reason if they're interested, that's all. Also, don't take it personally, though girls have a long way to go relative to guys in learning how to handle rejection .
clv0116 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Well, I guess I have no real answer except it's a shot in the dark. I guess the universe is all relative. Part of the 'fun' of making the approach is dealing with rejection. Mazel tov.
blondesmiler Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 As an experiment, I sent a wink or a message to a guy who for whatever reason I found attractive. None of them have responded. Not one. Coincidence? Please tell me what others think. Should women wait to be approached by men on line? tried it lots of times with guys of similar age, have had the same reaction as you!! Very rarely do I get a response and then they disappear even if do hear back. Bizarre so most of the time I don't bother anymore.
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