DayvanCowboy Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I have been in connection with a girl for almost two months now. She knows I want to be with her, and me and her have shared so much intimacy online. This weekend she will be going to New York to spend a Saturday with her guy friend. She is also spending the entire day there. Its also Valentine's day. I am so stressed out because she said there is nothing between them at all. She told me a few days ago that she would just be in Manhattan and just meet him once but now she is going to spend the day in his city of Brooklyn and I don't know yet if she is going to go to a hotel or spend the night at his place. I think there is a good chance she will be spending the night at his place. I think they have a thing going on and she is not telling me. She says that she is not using me though. As you can understand, any guy who really loves a girl would be worried and I have signed up to get as many opinions and insights as I can here. For two months I have never met her in real life and I only live an hour away. She is someone who is really depressed and says it takes a while for her to warm up to someone, but I just don't know anymore. I really don't know what section this should be posted in.
Joyvke Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Erhm, so she met this guy once before and is spending valentine's day with him... I can see why you're worried a little bit. Be prepared for the worst, especially since you only live one hour away and you haven't met still. Usually depressed people get warmed up really fast to others, so hrm, I don't know honestly. Personally, after the last experience, I'd walk away from this. Especially since it's only one hour away...
Author DayvanCowboy Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Well we had a few rough times where she thought I was accusing her of ignoring me and things get set back. It was my fault for doing that. She is a bit unstable and VERY SENSITIVE and takes a while to get comfortable with someone. She also has known him for a year and tells me its not what i think it is. I know a forum where they both post in and someone even mentioned about him being 'with' her. I don't know if I should just register and confide in him and ask him if they are going to be intimate because she does not know that I lurk there.
Joyvke Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Well we had a few rough times where she thought I was accusing her of ignoring me and things get set back. It was my fault for doing that. She is a bit unstable and VERY SENSITIVE and takes a while to get comfortable with someone. She also has known him for a year and tells me its not what i think it is. I know a forum where they both post in and someone even mentioned about him being 'with' her. I don't know if I should just register and confide in him and ask him if they are going to be intimate because she does not know that I lurk there. That's bad. Always go with someone that's mentally the same as yourself. Don't try to be their "helper" or their ego feeder. You'll end up hurt giving them chances to change. About that forum, you could do so, but he might consider it stalking and he might not say the truth either. To be honest, it comes over to me she just likes your online attention and him for the offline one.
Author DayvanCowboy Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 That's bad. Always go with someone that's mentally the same as yourself. Don't try to be their "helper" or their ego feeder. You'll end up hurt giving them chances to change. About that forum, you could do so, but he might consider it stalking and he might not say the truth either. To be honest, it comes over to me she just likes your online attention and him for the offline one. I agree about the registering on the forum and it turning into that, but I don't know what else to do. Also, she spends mostly online with him and has only seen him two times for the entire year they have known each other.
Joyvke Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Ok, I'll give a recap from my old situation. I fall in love with a guy after he told me he fell in love with me. Suddenly changes his mind about long distance. Ok fine, I respect that. Falls in love with someone just as far as me, twice. Some girl had been talking with him for 3 years, but he once told me we talked more in 6 months, then he did with her in those years. He kept stringing me around as I was always there when he was down. He talked about meeting up with me. Last weekend his "new girlfriend", the girl that lives just as far as I do, mails me to leave him alone, while he's the one who initiates contact every F***** time when I tell him not to. Time span doesn't mean anything. She spends her online time mostly with him, that means she's into him, simple. As soon as she gets bored with him she turns round to you. Trust me, it happened twice with me and I was so stupid to keep trusting this guy but I've been literally played. Now he got that girl as his girlfriend and he doesn't even care about the friendship we had. He's just as arrogant as she is. He's mentally not a stable person and cried all the time, but now I'm pretty sure the crying about our friendship was fake. One thing is for sure: He still is mentally unstable. Walk away from those, they will hurt you, period. I declared mine dead, cremated and burried and after that I spat on his puny grave. I'm done with him, those liars can have eachother .
Author DayvanCowboy Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Thank you so much for your replies Joyvke. I really do appreciate them. And what you have gone through is SO similar to my experience. I am sorry you are going through that and I thank you again so much for giving me your insight. Take care and God bless
Joyvke Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Sorry if I came over harsh, but seriously. I've never been this hurt in my entire life and I've had a lot happen to me in my 25 years . And this situation is just so damn similar, wouldn't want it to happen to anyone else.
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