linz Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 i have other posts on here about my partner going out last weekend. anyway he went out he came back home with a bite mark on his neck i was not happy i asked him about it he said some woman bumped into him from behind he turned round she then threw herself at him and bit his neck (thats what he said). its the first time since we been together (3yrs we been together) he has been to a night club without me. then to top it all off yesterday i was looking for some change so i opened his wallet and found a condom i asked him about this too he said he picked it up from his house incase i wanted to use it but we dont use condoms we never have either so why would i all of a sudden want to start using them. i really dont know what to think of it all.
JackJack Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I think you do know what to think of it all..... Think with your head for a few minutes, not your heart. Go back and re read the things you have listed that have been going on...think about it logically, and tell me what you truly believe might be happening here.
Squirtal Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Hi Linz Looking at this and your other posts I think your best bet is to get out. A condom and a love bite...well..what does that tell you? Plus you said you slapped him in a row, hes "grounded" you...sounds really unhealthy to me, controlling and soul destroying. I think the most positive thing is that he had a condom so hopefully he hasn't put you at risk. I know you've been together for a while, but that doesn't excuse they way you are both behaving to each other. I can only go on what you have written and for me, well I'd be gone..I'd have abit of time out and heal and then find something that was healthy and happy and most of all had mutual respect. Sorry if this sounds harsh. Chin up. I hope it gets resolved one way of another. Hugs
Geishawhelk Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Oh, I do that all the time... run up behind complete strangers, wrap my arms round them and leave bitemarks on their neck... And then when they're not looking, I whip out their wallets and put a condom in there, so when their gfs find it, they'll have to make something stupid up, like "oh I put it in there just incase we need to use it!" Sure it's just for a laugh, think nothing of it, just a bit of fun.... HELL-OOOO - !??!
amaysngrace Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 He's messing around on you. There's no doubt about it. Question is "what are you going to do about that?"
Author linz Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 he was meant to be moving in with me soon.
amaysngrace Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 he was meant to be moving in with me soon. If I were you I wouldn't get any more commited than you already are. He's playing you for a fool. He's making you look stupid. His friends laugh about the way he treats you and they know he's not right upstairs but he doesn't treat them like that because he's not their boyfriend but he is treating you like crap. And everybody knows it but you.
Geishawhelk Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 he was meant to be moving in with me soon. "...But I think his next bed is going to be in his car......because he sure as hell ain't sharing mine when I don't know when his little trouser-boy has been! YECH!!" repeat!
Author linz Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 i really dont want to believe his cheating but there is evdence im gutted!
amaysngrace Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 i really dont want to believe his cheating but there is evdence im gutted! I'm sure you are. XO Other than this he treats you really great or what?
JackJack Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 i really dont want to believe his cheating but there is evdence im gutted! I'm sorry, I know this is hard. No one wants to believe when they have been done wrong by someone they love/care about. The reality of it all is, YOU have choices in all of this...you can choose to stay in the situation or you can move on with your life, and know you are worth more than being with someone who is not doing you right.
Author linz Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 its my son i feel really sorry for him and my partner are so close he's only 5
amaysngrace Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 its my son i feel really sorry for him and my partner are so close he's only 5 So he treats you well otherwise? As for your son...is this bf really the best person for your son to pick up habits from? Only you would know.
blind_otter Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 its my son i feel really sorry for him and my partner are so close he's only 5 Yeah, break ups are tough on kids, even when they are not the biological children of your partner. I'm so sorry this is happening. Please feel free to vent or talk as much as you want to. This must be a difficult time for you. I will say a prayer for you.
Author linz Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 yeah he does. he has a lot of double standards which piss me off.
amaysngrace Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 yeah he does. he has a lot of double standards which piss me off. What do you mean? Like he can do things but you can't? Someone else said he is controlling. Is he?
Author linz Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 yes for instance i cant go to certain places but he can, i cant have male friends (cause men only after 1 thing is what he said) but he can have female friends, and other things like that.
amaysngrace Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 yes for instance i cant go to certain places but he can, i cant have male friends (cause men only after 1 thing is what he said) but he can have female friends, and other things like that. But it's your life. You should be able to be friends with whoever you want to be friends with. If you guys have an agreement or something saying you both won't have friends of the opposite sex or go to certain places than you both should honor that. But if it's one-sided that is unfair. You aren't his property.
Geishawhelk Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 "men are only after one thing".... Well, guess he's living proof of that! he's got two things - you, and some other broad!!
Author linz Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 he says im the controlling one cause i said to him after the bite on his neck and the condom in his wallet that he isnt going to a club without me anymore
Geishawhelk Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 This is known as guilt transference. He's done something wrong - you found out - now it's all your fault. Classic. @$$hole.
JackJack Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 "men are only after one thing".... Well, guess he's living proof of that! he's got two things - you, and some other broad!! Geisha beat me to it!
amaysngrace Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 he says im the controlling one cause i said to him after the bite on his neck and the condom in his wallet that he isnt going to a club without me anymore That sounds like a guilty conscience to me. If he turns it around on you and makes you the bad guy than he no longer is the bad guy. Don't feel guilty about saying that. He hurt you. Not the other way around. You can say whatever you want seeing as how you're the one that's hurt. Right?
Geishawhelk Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Sorry JJ...I promise to leave the next "slapupdeforehead" for you!!
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