Geishawhelk Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 My son is just lucky the police were not involved or this would be so much worse. Prove it. Call the Police and ask what action would be taken in these circumstances - exactly as they are. How much worse would they really be - given that the Farmer hasn't even mentioned pressing charges AND has declined the cost of replacing and repairing the mirror....?? Or go the full scenario: Ask what would happen if the farmer had pressed charges? Remember the incident happened on private land, your son was not trespassing and he was in the company of other boys, one of whom was the farmer's son, who ALSO vandalised the car....
Author mopar crazy Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 Actually, no it isn't up to the farmer. You made a fair and just offer to replace the mirror and the farmer refused. Therefore you would be within your rights to state that you offered to make financial restitution, and to make good the reparation, but he declined. You therefore decided to punish your son in a way habitual to your household, and have grounded him and requested he do chores. If the farmer turned down the offer, that's his problem. if he wants your son to make it up to him somehow, then a suitably appropriate punishment should be sought, because laying drainage pipes is akin to doing hard Labour on a chain gang for having stolen a loaf of bread and a hunk of cheese.... I think you need to clarify that one day's work should do it. The farmer's angling to get cheap labour, and you're punishing your son way in excess of what he deserves. This is so unfair. Can't you see that? I'm starting to understand what you are saying. IMO one or two days of labor on his farm should be enough. However, what do I say if the farmers doesn't feel that is enough? Just flat out tell him it is enough and we feel as his parents he has worked off his share of the broken mirror? I don't want this to become a bad relationship with this boys parents but I also don't want them to think they are going to take advantage of him also.
Author mopar crazy Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 Prove it. Call the Police and ask what action would be taken in these circumstances - exactly as they are. How much worse would they really be - given that the Farmer hasn't even mentioned pressing charges AND has declined the cost of replacing and repairing the mirror....?? Or go the full scenario: Ask what would happen if the farmer had pressed charges? Remember the incident happened on private land, your son was not trespassing and he was in the company of other boys, one of whom was the farmer's son, who ALSO vandalised the car.... The farmer's son did not vandalise the car, it was another boy that was there. I'm not going to bother the police w/ this. They have bigger fish to fry. The farmer chose not to press charges as he didn't want to get the police involved. He didn't want to take it that far.
Geishawhelk Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Find out the cost of purchasing and replacing the mirror. Find out the going wage for labour, by enquiring what the going pay-rate currently is. Calculate therefore, how many hours your son would have to work to "pay off" the mirror. Then, I would tell the farmer that you have decided that yes, he (the farmer) is absolutely right to require a bit of work in lieu of replacing the mirror. Your son will be extremely happy to work that off, and you're very happy that he will be working for "XX" hours to do that. if he starts to argue, point out the facts you've investigated, above, and remind him that he declined to accept replacement and repair, but that your son is going to be working to make up for that. Surely, he doesn't want your son to do in excess of that? (smile.....)
Geishawhelk Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 The farmer's son did not vandalise the car, it was another boy that was there. I'm not going to bother the police w/ this. They have bigger fish to fry. Had it been reported, then this is the sprat they would be obliged to deal with, precisely because someone had reported it! The farmer chose not to press charges as he didn't want to get the police involved. He didn't want to take it that far. Right. So, in fact, you have absolutely no way of knowing for sure that he WOULD have been in a whole lot more trouble, had this been reported.... The police might well (to save reports, paperwork, questioning, bigger fish) just given the boys a severe ticking off. But I very much doubt your son would be looking at a criminal charge sheet..... Thinking about it, the farmer might also have received a warning from the Police with regard to keeping a vehicle in such a manner as to create a potential hazard. If he really does intend doing work on it (Watch this space - I'd love to know if he ver really does!) then the Police would advise him to keep it in a secure and sheltered place. Wouldn't it deteriorate outside....? I think he didn't press charges selflessly. I think he might have had a fear of doing so.
Author mopar crazy Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 I have looked online for the price of a drivers side mirror for the year, make, and model of the van. The part is anywhere from $50-$65 from what I have found. I figured about $50 to install it but have to find out for sure. I could ask my brother to look it up as he is a auto mechanic. I don't feel my son should work for more than what the cost of the part and replacement is. I would think hired help for the work the farmer is expecting is between $8-$9 an hour but going to contact my farmer friends to find out for sure. We are using this situation as a learning tool and I pray that my son does actually learn from it. My son is not a bad kid, in fact he is very smart, all his teachers tell us that but he made a poor choice. He needs to learn he has to pay the consequences for his actions.
Geishawhelk Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 I completely agree. He should absolutely pay for the consequences of his actions. But just for that. No more, no less. If I muddy somebody's coat, I will be happy to pay to replace it, or for it to be professionally dry-cleaned. I'm not going to buy her a matching handbag, shoes, neckscarf, gloves and co-ordinating jewellery as well.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 We pay $10.00 and hour for labor here. From what I understand our neighbors do to and we have used some of the same day workers for projects.
Author mopar crazy Posted June 28, 2009 Author Posted June 28, 2009 Bumping this thread up for an update. The farmer of the damaged van called at 10:15 Thursday night to inform my son that they will be out laying pipe the next morning at 8:15 and if my son didn't have anything to do to come out and help. They worked for 6 hours laying pipe and fixing a barbed wire fence. The farmer is going to call again soon to set up another full day of work. Do you think once he does the second day of work the part of the van ($50-$65) should be paid off? I'm not going to have the farmer take advantage of him and expect him to work way more than what the part is worth. He has learned his lesson from this through this and being grounded.
whichwayisup Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Well, if this was his summer job, how much would he be paid for it? 2 days is fine, I wouldn't let this farmer push you into getting your son to do more than that. But, if he does, then you need to tell him that 2 days work is all he can do.
Thornton Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 I'm curious to know what kind of punishment the other boy received, the one who actually broke the headlight and mirror. Remember, the mirror was already broken when your son hit it, so he's paying to replace the entire mirror even though it was already broken before he hit it. Six hours of work at about $10 an hour = $60 your son has already worked off. Since the mirror was already broken when your son hit it, I would be inclined to say that $60 is enough of a contribution to replacing it; the other boy (the one who actually broke the mirror) should pay for the remainder of the replacement cost. If you are adamant about making your son pay the full replacement cost, one more day of work should do it, since he will have worked off $120. Don't let the farmer take advantage of your son, put your foot down and explain that you feel two days of work is enough to pay for the mirror and installation cost.
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