ResTechof3 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Okay so I am really confused but maybe in a good way. I just came back from a trip with H. He surprised me by taking me gambling and got a hotel for the night. He also go a moveable fireplace (something I have wanted for years). He said that this was Valentine's just a little early. He also got a sitter to watch our kids and went all out to surprise me with this. Could this possibly be good or might there be something in the midst. Let me fill in a little gap here and there. Friday I got all dolled up. H came home after picking up kids from school and did a double take and asked who I was all dressed up for. He said teasingly is it your many boyfriends ( I have befriended some guys as friends....H idea for us to make friends). I teasingly came back with , you silly I only sleep with one (him). He then said kind of cooly occassionally. Now I do have to say that yes he has been having health probs that prevent him from enjoying sex...it hurts, he has slipped disks , protruding disks, degenative disk disease, and spindolisis (sp) in his neck, not to mention the other things in his legs. I expressed to him while we were away that yes we occassionally make love but when we do it is well worth it. I also expressed to him that he is the only one I want. I don't know if he thinks I am looking elsewhere ( have not given any kind of indications to this), or if he fears that I am going to leave him...anyway I have tried to bring that conversation up but we never get to the bottom of it so i figure when he is ready he will tell me. I am seeing more glimpses of my H the way he used to be more often. I still feel the distance but not as much (today at least). I am really trying to figure out what he is thinking ( talking to him does no good he just reverts deeper into a shell).He tells me that he is dealing with his "problems" his way and to trust him that he knows what he is doing. I have to respect the fact that when he is ready he will come to me. I am not a patient person though. I really love this man, I just can not keep setting myself up to be hurt yet again. Everytime I think it's getting better he reverts back to being distant and emotionally absent. I have told myself not to hold my breath...
Heroic Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 I can't think of anything more damaging to a man's psyche that not being able to perform, that is an awful big burden to bear. If having sex is an issue due to back problems you might want to think about buying a sex swing. It will allow him to move you around with almost no effort, doesn't matter if your petite or plus sized, and well...its good fun! I had hernia surgery in a heavily muscled area and it took me out of commision for a good long time. The swing was the only way we could get back in the swing of things...pun inteneded.
Recommended Posts