dreamergrl Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 So continuing with my online dating adventures, a guy I've been in contact with the last week (also a little bit before I left state last summer) had asked me if I wanted to meet up for dinner tonight, and see how it goes. He asked me this morning, told me he'd give me a ring later after going to the gym, running errands yadda yadda. Then come 4ish, he sends me a message asking if it would be okay if we met up later this week instead, he was tired from running around all day. I told him sure, no problem (because I'm not going to pout about it to him), he asked if I was sure that was okay. I said yes. So he said we'll pick out a day later. Maybe I'm just thinking too hard, and after hearing the "I'm tired" line last night from the previous date, I could be over thinking it. I don't know. Would you think you were getting blown off?
Star Gazer Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I don't think you're doing anything wrong. And I don't think you were getting blown off. I know that when I was OD, I wanted to be "at my best" for the first date/meeting, and wouldn't want to go if I was tired or feeling lackluster. Seeing as your guy suggested later in the week (as opposed to just saying he can't make it and not providing an alternative), I think he's still interested in meeting. OD takes a while. Not every guy you talk to is going to turn into a date, let alone a relationship, obviously. Keep yourself out there, chica.
confused_2008 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I agree that you weren't getting blown off. BTW, how did things work out with the convenience store guy, or is that still a work in progress?
Author dreamergrl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 I don't think you're doing anything wrong. And I don't think you were getting blown off. I know that when I was OD, I wanted to be "at my best" for the first date/meeting, and wouldn't want to go if I was tired or feeling lackluster. Seeing as your guy suggested later in the week (as opposed to just saying he can't make it and not providing an alternative), I think he's still interested in meeting. OD takes a while. Not every guy you talk to is going to turn into a date, let alone a relationship, obviously. Keep yourself out there, chica. Yeah, that is true. I guess I'm still annoyed by the half ass date I had last night. Mr. No Personality. I do agree it takes sometime. I'm not in a rush for a relationship, but I feel the need to at least be dating and seeing what is out there, if that makes any sense. I agree that you weren't getting blown off. BTW, how did things work out with the convenience store guy, or is that still a work in progress? Well... I haven't seen him since the last time, although, when I drove past yesterday, there was a guy and girl walking holding hands, and it kind of looked like him, but it was hard to tell because he was wearing a hat. Also the last time I saw him, he had a goatee in progress, this guy had none. So I'm not sure.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I don't think you're getting blown off. Just bad timing.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Yeah, you guys were right. I'm suppose to let him know which day works best for me this week. We ended up talking a bit more. He works nights (which kind of sucks), but told me that if dinner goes okay, he would like to do something this weekend when he doesn't have to work (he starts at 10:45 at night). I'm actually kind of nervous. I'm not sure if it's because of the bad date on Saturday or not.
CommitmentPhobe Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I think you're getting blown off and I think this guy is flaky. At the least, he should have called you.
Shygirl15 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 "He's just not that into you". No, but seriously, you may not be blown off but he's also not all that interested, in my opinion.
lino Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Would you think you were getting blown off? Not necessarily but I'd consider it as a possibility. I'd just wait and see what happens.
blind_otter Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I remember, though, when I was dating that I would get so excited that I didn't even feel tired - even when I was partying a lot and staying up all night. I remember on my first real date with my S/O (we had met and spent time prior to the date for a few days), almost 4 years ago (yikes!) - I had partied the night before and it was a lunch date. I slept probably 3 or 4 hours at the most and still got up early and gussied myself up. We had a fantastic time and he ended up taking the afternoon off of work to spend the rest of the day with me. So, in sum, I don't buy the "I'm tired" excuse. I went on a lunch date after a bender, and I am like the queen of sleep. Well, I used to be before I had a baby who woke up every day at 7am.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 So those of you who think "I'm tired and worn out" doesn't cut it, what do you think I should expect out of this guy if we do indeed go out this week? Also, how long do you think I should wait to let him know when I'm free this week? I don't like to play games, but I don't want to come across over eager.
CommitmentPhobe Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 So those of you who think "I'm tired and worn out" doesn't cut it, what do you think I should expect out of this guy if we do indeed go out this week? Also, how long do you think I should wait to let him know when I'm free this week? I don't like to play games, but I don't want to come across over eager. It's up to you what you expect from someone. Personally I can't stand flakes. It's ok for a friend to blow you off at short notice if they've known you for a while. But, someone you don't know very well and trying to make an impression - if that was me I would have written them off already, unless they'd have rung up with a pretty reasonable excuse. You don't just blow off an interview or a meeting because you're "feeling tired", why should you blow off a date? Sorry, but if the guy doesn't have much in the way of respect for your arrangements already then he's not going to improve. I don't know if this is how internet dating is, but definitely RL this has never happened to me and I'd be pretty annoyed if it did and just wouldn't bother with that person again.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Not making excuses for the guy because I like him, but I wouldn't want to meet someone the first time if I was worn out from the day. The plans for us to go out for dinner where made after his day time plans where made.
CommitmentPhobe Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Not making excuses for the guy because I like him, but I wouldn't want to meet someone the first time if I was worn out from the day. The plans for us to go out for dinner where made after his day time plans where made. Well like I say, then your expectations of him are lower than mine are for people. But then I don't get worn out and I don't hang around people that rely on their moods or energy levels to determine whether they're going to do something or not. As far as im concerned if you arrange to do it something you should do it unless you've got a pretty good excuse not to.
2sunny Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 i think i'd set it for Friday. he could have called instead of sending you a message. that is what bothers me is - if he was planning to cancel, the effort to talk would have been more respectful. maybe he was on a date and couldn't call, so he texted. it was a simple way of avoiding a conflict. either way, don't be overly anxious or accommodating for the date this weekend. sounds like he MAY have "other" things happening at the same time as trying to see you.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 i think i'd set it for Friday. he could have called instead of sending you a message. that is what bothers me is - if he was planning to cancel, the effort to talk would have been more respectful. maybe he was on a date and couldn't call, so he texted. it was a simple way of avoiding a conflict. either way, don't be overly anxious or accommodating for the date this weekend. sounds like he MAY have "other" things happening at the same time as trying to see you. It was actually an email, not a text, not sure if that's is better or worse. See now, that one is hard for me to get pissed about, because I hate talking on the phone. I think that stems from my shyness. but I'd rather send a message then talk on the phone until I know someone better. That's just me. I know it sounds dumb.
2sunny Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 email is more "distant" than text. much safer from his perspective. i find his approach to be distracted - and you are not looking like his "priority."
Author dreamergrl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 email is more "distant" than text. much safer from his perspective. i find his approach to be distracted - and you are not looking like his "priority." Well we shot emails back and forth for quite a while, talking and stuff. I agree though that email is safer, it's probably why I do it lol. Yeah a phone call would have been nice. Do you think this date could just suck because of this, or is it possible to have a great date still?
2sunny Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 don't know until you go. give it a shot! just be aware of what has transpired and see how it plays out.
Shygirl15 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Not making excuses for the guy because I like him, but I wouldn't want to meet someone the first time if I was worn out from the day. The plans for us to go out for dinner where made after his day time plans where made. A first date, Dreamer, is always something people get excited about and look forward to. If someone is that interested, they normally do their best to make sure they're not too "worn out" to cancel any arrangements they've had with someone they're interested with. Not meaning to discourage you but just my honest opinion. I still think you can give him a chance, even though what he did can be a bit of a turn off (for me).
Author dreamergrl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 A first date, Dreamer, is always something people get excited about and look forward to. If someone is that interested, they normally do their best to make sure they're not too "worn out" to cancel any arrangements they've had with someone they're interested with. Not meaning to discourage you but just my honest opinion. I still think you can give him a chance, even though what he did can be a bit of a turn off (for me). I do agree shygirl, and it probably would have been much more a turn off if we had made plans a few days in advance. He asked me if I wanted to have dinner yesterday morning, told me he was going to the gym and running errands, then would let me know what would be a good time. At 4 he then asked if it was okay to reschedule. It all happened in one day. I honestly wouldn't give him another chance if we made plans in advance.
Star Gazer Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Try to set a date today for sometime later in the week. You've got nothing to lose!
Star Gazer Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 A first date, Dreamer, is always something people get excited about and look forward to. If someone is that interested, they normally do their best to make sure they're not too "worn out" to cancel any arrangements they've had with someone they're interested with. Not meaning to discourage you but just my honest opinion. I still think you can give him a chance, even though what he did can be a bit of a turn off (for me). While I have a tendency to agree, I've cancelled on online dates for these reasons...some of which I was genuinely very excited to meet.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Okay, so date is set for Thursday. Dinner. I'm kind of nervous, a little excited, and now I have to figure out what to wear!
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