Marco1982 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Hi Everyone, Here's my story... About 2 months ago, my girlfriend broke up with me after a 1 year and 2 month relationship. No, not a very long relationship however very intense in the sense that we would see each other on a almost daily basis. We would never be bored of each other and always have a great time whether its watching a movie together or going for dinner etc... About 10 months into the relationship she left to go to Law School at a University about 2 hours away. This obviously affected the relationship greatly. However she still made the drive into the city and I would make the drive out to the University and we would be able to see each other 2-3 times a month. The problem was that, I was selfish and took her for granted. For example, I would never like the idea of hanging out with her friends and I wasn't too keen on spending so much time at her parents' home. She in turn however, was always willing to spend time with my family and friends. This being the reason that she broke off the relationship; because I was not putting in the necessary effort. Unfortunately, now I do see all the mistakes that I've made, in hindsight. I realize that I have lost a great girl and would do anything to get her back... Which leads me to the disastrous past 2 months. When we first broke up, I was very angry and didn't show hardly to any emotion. Now though, as more time has passed, the anger has left and the sadness has kicked in as well as the realization of the mistakes I have made. The past month or so, I have attempted to contact her several times a week through phone or text messages. She does pick up the phone when I call however its usually the same response of, "Why are you calling?".."You know we are very mad with each other and we are going to fight.."...and it usually ends with "leave me alone!" after I have done my bit to apologize, to assure her I have changed and whatever else I say just to keep her on the phone as long as possible in the hope that something will change and that I would get some sort of positive reaction out of her. I cry on the phone, not being able to help it obviously which I know is not working in my favor either as I'm being very weak in her eyes. I even contacted a couple of friends of hers to express my feelings to them in the hope they 'help' me or advise me of some way however that backfired and angered her more. In hindsight again, I realize I may have pushed her further away. I always react to what my heart says first rather than my head. Needless to say, I am a complete mess. This is effecting my life in many ways. Not motivated to do much however I do try to spend as much time with my friends as I possibly can. I have gone on a couple of dates since the break up, but my heart is simply not in it. I truly love this girl though. I have made mistakes and more mistakes even after we broke up. I'm lost in the sense that I dont know what else to do. I do know that my love for her is strong and I feel as if I need to fight for her. What is my next move? She tells me to leave her alone but I feel stranded then in the sense that I'm not doing anything to make things better or get her back....do I send a least a text every once in a while or email or nothing at all? Thank you for reading this. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask... Thanks, Marco
Geraltt Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 My friend, sorry to say but it's over. Now, it's very common for women to say one thing and mean another. ("What's the matter?" "Nothing.") But when she says, "Leave me alone," she's not kidding. Leave her alone. Really.
Ronni_W Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Marco, Nothing you have been doing is working to help you. Everything you have been doing has actually been working AGAINST you. As far as your past relationship is concerned, start doing the complete opposite. 180 degrees. TOTALLY stop what you have been doing, and don't do it again. Then pick a different area of your life. Health/Fitness, or Friends/Social, or Education/Travel, or Faith/Spiritual, or Self-awareness/Development, or whatever. And pour the exact same level of energy, persistence and dedication into developing that area. If there is ANY chance of a reconciliation (which, it doesn't sound as if there is), then you must stop doing what you have been doing. Your relationship ended because you were, by your own account, only concerned with taking care of your own wants and needs, and ensuring that YOU always felt comfortable and 'happy'. Learn from your painful outcome of having done that. Find out what part of your beliefs/attitude you need to change/improve, so that you can be a more understanding and supportive person, in general. I'm sorry you're going through this. Relationship endings suck. But they don't demand that we deliver ourselves to hell in a hand basket, or require us to act so pathetically and stomp all over our own dignity and self-respect.
Joker77 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Dude, The more you try and contact her, the more you are going to drive her away. Leave it be and go no contact. You can't make someone want to be with you if they aren't feeling it and you end up feeling worse because of it.
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