aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Hello! It's been quite a while since I posted last. I filed for divorce from my wife and it was final ~ a year ago. Hurray!! I've been dating casually, but now I met this woman and for the first time in a while I'm doubting my ability to read a woman's signs. Have I been wrong or misguided with women the whole time? Let me preempt this: my age early 30's and she is late 20's. So I've been working on a contract for this company writing software. She's an attractive woman, and one day about a month after I started work she begins IMing me. Innocent enough at first, but she told me she was single (I took that as a first hint). Her IMs get more and more direct as time goes on. I figure she must like me so I ask her out. She tells me sure, but she's busy and can't then. Ok another time then. Flirting continues, some of it a bit graphic and she's now sending me txt messages and calls once a blue moon. I ask her out again. Again she's busy and so I offer the next closest time she's free, she agrees but doesn't offer a specific date. She continues to "flirt" and now just flat out suggests that we make out. I tell her she seems to be too busy to go out so perhaps we should just keep it friendly and stay office friends. She tells me she was just messing around with me and didn't mean anything by it. Ok I get it I was wrong (was I?? whatever). I give up, but now she starts up again with making innuendos, getting touchy feely at work, making more graphic suggestions involving chocolate sauce, and now tells me that I should "make a move on her". I think well ok, now she must have had a change of heart. I ask her out again she says yes, but can't make it just then, she assures me however that she really wants to go out with me. I say ok, just tell me when you want to go, and I'll make the time, unless I have something serious to which to attend. Nothing! So I give up. I meet someone else and kinda hit it off with her. Now the work girl, she starts calling me and texting everyday. She finally gets a hold of me and tells me that I came on too strong, and that I should "give a girl a chance", that her friend told her to just do it and go out with me have fun, so she says we should just "go out", even though I'm seeing someone else. I say no and suggest we keep it professional. She continues with IM flirting. Great ! I ignore her but she continues. I stop seeing the other woman after a couple of months so now I'm free again. the work girl has been IMing me and txting sporadically and tells me recently that she heard a song and thought of me. That she loves the way I smell, that my bulging muscles are sexy when I'm writing code...blahh blahh blahh, and she suggests we "get some drinks", and like an idiot i said sure. Nothing ever comes of it...big surprise...and now she's txting me again just to say "hi", so i now tell her to seriously stop, leave me alone, and to only use my personal number for work realted emergencies. She blows up and tells me that she has no idea as to where this all came from? That we are just friends and that's IT b/c she is interested in someone else, and that it is I who should please stop texting her. So my question is: did I misinterpret her intentions? Maybe she's just flirty like that, albeit a bit explicit, but maybe I was just flat out wrong. I feel that I mis-read her, even though friends tell me otherwise, b/c she's obviously interested in someone else. Although that stings and I'm blue over it, I feel some finality since I know where I stand. However, now I'm even more apprehensive about talking to a woman b/c I don't want to misinterpret signs again. I feel like I was way off and that I should just wait then for a woman to tell me that she's interested...which is pretty much never. Any insight would be good, if anyone has dealt with a difficult crush, or just been flat out wrong.
Island Girl Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 She was basking in the attention and playing with your head. All of the flirty suggestions including the explicit ones were a game. She didn't have any intention of going out with you for whatever reason but she LOVED that she could get you paying all that attention to her any time she wanted. You should have been done with her the first time you asked her out and she said no with no reschedule. Bulging muscles while you are writing code? Baby, there are plenty out there who will be interested with no games. Don't reply to her anymore. Just flat out ignore her. If she continues to bother you after this - make someone aware of it before this crazy girl tries to pin sexual harassment on YOU.
norajane Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 She was basking in the attention and playing with your head. All of the flirty suggestions including the explicit ones were a game. She didn't have any intention of going out with you for whatever reason but she LOVED that she could get you paying all that attention to her any time she wanted. You should have been done with her the first time you asked her out and she said no with no reschedule. Bulging muscles while you are writing code? Baby, there are plenty out there who will be interested with no games. Don't reply to her anymore. Just flat out ignore her. If she continues to bother you after this - make someone aware of it before this crazy girl tries to pin sexual harassment on YOU. Totally agree. Totally.
Trimmer Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 ...That she loves the way I smell, that my bulging muscles are sexy when I'm writing code... I know your situation is serious to you, but I did get a bit of a giggle out of this; it is so counter to the stereotype...
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 What a tease. A freaking immature, annoying tease. Her actions annoyed the hell out of ME and I wasn't even involved. It's women like her that give the rest of us a bad name. No, she didn't want to go out with you - she was getting a kick out of making you squirm. Don't feel like you misread her - it was all a game to her. Not every woman is that stupid.
blondesmiler Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Why is liking someone so difficult? Donno but it is total BS that it is sooo hard for two people to get it together.
Author aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 What a tease. A freaking immature, annoying tease. Her actions annoyed the hell out of ME and I wasn't even involved. It's women like her that give the rest of us a bad name. No, she didn't want to go out with you - she was getting a kick out of making you squirm. Don't feel like you misread her - it was all a game to her. Not every woman is that stupid. I figured she might just be playing head games or had a bf of sorts even though she said she was single, but I thought that was the stuff of the immature. I forget that age does not necessarily correlate with maturity. I know your situation is serious to you, but I did get a bit of a giggle out of this; it is so counter to the stereotype... lol I think times are changing Now if I could only learn to cook...
Illiandra Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 she probably just enjoyed some attention from you and see how far you would take it. honestly she sounds like a psycho who has a few if not many issues at hand... how can she flip the script and tell you to stop initiating contact with her? i would just ignore her texts and ims,,, and she will get the hint sooner or later! and keep yourself busy and preoccupied by going out with other girls who dont seem to have a few screws loose like this one
Surfer Dude Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Let me get this straight: she flirts and wants to go out really badly, and once you set up a meeting she bails every time, and then keeps contacting you and flirting even more. AVOID WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE. Sounds like she was enjoying your attention. Ignore her. She's crazy.
Trialbyfire Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 ATTENTION WHORE ALERT!! I wouldn't worry about misinterpreting signals again. While there are a lot of attention whores out there imitating someone interested, the first time they turn down a date request is the last time you need to feed her lack of self-esteem. Btw, I do agree that this one is psychotic!
Author aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 ATTENTION WHORE ALERT!! I wouldn't worry about misinterpreting signals again. While there are a lot of attention whores out there imitating someone interested, the first time they turn down a date request is the last time you need to feed her lack of self-esteem. Btw, I do agree that this one is psychotic! I think that's it!! She has self-esteem issues for sure. Perhaps it's having been married for so long and being sheltered but I just never encountered a person such as this. Oh well live an learn
sweetgirl99 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I agree that this girl wanted attention from you. I would only talk to her when it is work related, and keep everything professional. She's nuts. It'll piss her off when you show how mature you are and not feed into her negative attention she is craving!
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