Driver Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 My boyfriend and I have been (or should I say, were) dating for ten months. We're both twenty years old. We were on the way to a festival when he started talking to me about how annoying his roommates are. He told me that they eat all of his food, and then he told me that he said to one of them, "HEY --- go buy me more milk at the store. Two gallons this time." I couldn't picture him saying this as he is such a nice guy. So I simply said, "Wow, I can't imagine talking to my roommate like that. But maybe it's just the kind of relationship you have with them." He asked what I meant, and I said, "I just can't picture you saying those kinds of things; it seems kind of mean." He said, "Oh, that's just how guys talk to each other...but it's obvious you think I am a complete a**hole." I told him I didn't think he was at all, and that I just was inquiring and trying to find out how he was with his roommates. He said, "No, you think I'm an a**hole." I said sorry a few more times and tried to explain, but he stayed angry. So I stopped trying to speak to him, and we drove in silence for a good 45 minutes. He then turned around and said, "This isn't working." And I was forced to agree. So we sadly broke it off because things like this happen frequently... and it is sad to me that such petty issues cause him to be so upset and ruin everything. We've dealt with situations like this before. Once he left my house in a fury because we were playing video games and I was losing...and then I intentionally took out a video game I knew I could beat him at, and I started kicking his butt. Probably immature on my part, but not a big deal. He told me my behavior was annoying, stormed out, and told me I was "purposely trying to humiliate him." THAT turned into a huge, huge fight. I think we are stuck in a pattern where he gets oversensitive about something and gets extremely offended or hurt...I try to remedy the situation but he stays mad...and the more he gets mad the more annoyed and angry I get because of having to deal with such a ridiculous situation. Ever since we started dating I have become bulimic. I never thought there was a connection until recently. We took a two week break and the bulimia stopped. I no longer felt so much pressure, so much anxiety. I didn't feel like someone was constantly upset. I felt free and alive. However, I love him. Everything about our relationship is wonderful. Except this. We have great times together, he makes me laugh, he is incredibly supportive of me and this issues I go through. He gets the essence of me and loves me to death. I love just about everything about him, too, but the insecurity and the insensitivity is ultimately a deal breaker. I can't live with all of this tension. I don't mind fighting with someone, but when I am forced to fight with someone constantly over petty issues, forced to baby them and comfort them and reassure them..it's just not good for me. Is there any hope in any of this? Is it possible to fix the situation so that we can be together? I really think that if he were not so insecure there wouldn't be much for us to fight about and break up over.
Island Girl Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Your boyfriend is insecure. He is immature. He has to grow up. You won't be around when he does - IF he does - you'll have moved on and met someone new. Because it will take a lot of life before he does. You are better off the way it stands now. The fact that you felt so anxious and upset that you were bulimic is reason enough to stay away from him FOREVER. It sounds like you were sucked into a very unhealthy co-dependent relationship. Try to figure out why that is and why you were willing to put up with that kind of immature bull.
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