EasyHeart Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I dated a woman for about a year. In October, she broke up with me, saying "I can't love you as much as you love me." She wanted to stay friends and we hung out a few times during the next month. I mentioned that I had gone on a couple dates, and she became enraged, saying it was too soon for me to go on any dates. She didn't talk to me for about a month. Then, she contacted me and said she needed 'closure'. We talked things through and we started to get friendly again, though things were very tense and we fought over little things. She strongly hinted that she wanted me to ask her out, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. She also said several times that she did not want to date anyone "for a long time." Then about two weeks ago, she let me know that she had met a guy in a bar and he asked her out. They went out twice and (I admit) I got very jealous. She had literally gone in two days from flirting with me and trying to get me to take her to dinner and not wanting to date 'for a long time' to dating this new guy. A few days ago, she sent me an email, saying that she hadn't responded to any of my recent emails or calls because she didn't want to give me the wrong idea and that she was very interested in this new guy. But she wants us to 'stay friends' and that 'when you're ready I'll be here for you as a friend'. So what do you make of this? How can she go from not wanting to date for a long time to going out with this new guy that she just met?
lonelygurl Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I dated a woman for about a year. In October, she broke up with me, saying "I can't love you as much as you love me." She wanted to stay friends and we hung out a few times during the next month. I mentioned that I had gone on a couple dates, and she became enraged, saying it was too soon for me to go on any dates. She didn't talk to me for about a month. Then, she contacted me and said she needed 'closure'. We talked things through and we started to get friendly again, though things were very tense and we fought over little things. She strongly hinted that she wanted me to ask her out, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. She also said several times that she did not want to date anyone "for a long time." Then about two weeks ago, she let me know that she had met a guy in a bar and he asked her out. They went out twice and (I admit) I got very jealous. She had literally gone in two days from flirting with me and trying to get me to take her to dinner and not wanting to date 'for a long time' to dating this new guy. A few days ago, she sent me an email, saying that she hadn't responded to any of my recent emails or calls because she didn't want to give me the wrong idea and that she was very interested in this new guy. But she wants us to 'stay friends' and that 'when you're ready I'll be here for you as a friend'. So what do you make of this? How can she go from not wanting to date for a long time to going out with this new guy that she just met? sounds like she wanted to break up the gentle way and lets be friends. jealously does not mean love. sounds like she has met someone that has sparked her interest quickly enough to date again.
anne1707 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I disagree. It sounds like she wanted the best of both worlds. She liked the idea that she had you under her control and when you started to move in, she pulled you back on. She is playing games and you are better off without. Sorry - probably not what you want to hear.
Joker77 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Don't waste your time. Cut her loose. She wants to keep you around as the guy "girlfriend" in case this new guy doesn't work out. Take back the power and cut her loose.
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