dreamergrl Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Welp, the guy canceled on me last minute because he's helping his friend move. Lame. DUNZO! Just curious, could he have possibly picked up on your hesitation?
Author pandagirl Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Hmm. I don't think so, although, this is a guy I met online months ago -- like, 3-4 months ago. We had planned to meet up back then, but I really did come down with the flu, so I had to cancel on him that time. I think all around, it's sort of clear that we aren't DYING to meet, but still, I don't like last minute cancellations. If he makes a good effort to reschedule, we'll see.
Balthazar Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 If he is interested Panda, he will re-schedule; without a doubt. Living in Europe for a number of years now ,I view your dilemma about dating a man 8 years your senior as ,clearly, a North American one. Here is Europe, most women wouldn't bat an eyelid at an 8 year old difference. Honestly, I don't think it would even register as a yellow flag in a conversation between girlfriends. In fact, I personally believe it is a difference that provides a strong foundation for an LTR. Cheers,
Trialbyfire Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Welp, the guy canceled on me last minute because he's helping his friend move. Lame. DUNZO! Yup, lame, especially for the first date. Next...
clv0116 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Welp, the guy canceled on me last minute because he's helping his friend move. Lame. DUNZO! Well if you wanted an excuse there it is, but it's possible his friend sprung this on him at the last minute too.
clv0116 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 What? And he only just found out/realised? Things happen. I've had people call for help at the last minute when the help they thought they had lined up flaked. Happens.
Author pandagirl Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Things happen. I've had people call for help at the last minute when the help they thought they had lined up flaked. Happens. Well depending on how hard he tries/is apologetic about the situation, I can let it go, but overall -- big time negative points!
Dumbledore Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I guess he felt that you were a long shot compared to the needs of a faithful and trusted friend. Don't take it personally.
voldigicam Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Long ago, I read that guys tend to marry girls 1/2 their age plus 7 years. 38/2 = 19, add 7 = 26. I'm 54. Married this time 16 years. So I must have gotten married when I was 54 - 16 = 38, and she was 28. Just about perfect match. So I wouldn't be concerned.
anne1707 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Long ago, I read that guys tend to marry girls 1/2 their age plus 7 years. 38/2 = 19, add 7 = 26. I'm 54. Married this time 16 years. So I must have gotten married when I was 54 - 16 = 38, and she was 28. Just about perfect match. So I wouldn't be concerned. So a 37 year old woman will typically be marrying a 60 year old man then? Don't think so
clv0116 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Well depending on how hard he tries/is apologetic about the situation, I can let it go, but overall -- big time negative points! Well on the other hand if you can be a little less self centered for a second you might think that he's apparently got good friends he is loyal to. That says good things about him as a person doesn't it? He didn't next you when you canceled after all.
Author pandagirl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Well on the other hand if you can be a little less self centered for a second you might think that he's apparently got good friends he is loyal to. That says good things about him as a person doesn't it? He didn't next you when you canceled after all. Err. I'm not self-centered. It was one hour before we were supposed to meet, I was getting ready to leave, but I checked my email and that's when he canceled. I actually think that's a little inconsiderate, eh?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Well on the other hand if you can be a little less self centered for a second you might think that he's apparently got good friends he is loyal to. That says good things about him as a person doesn't it? He didn't next you when you canceled after all. Uhhh...how is Pandagirl self-centered in this scenario? She had a date that he broke one hour before they were supposed to meet up. That is very poor form on his part. Very bad manners. Oh, and when a good friend is moving, they don't ask you for help an hour before. Those things are arranged in advance.
OpenBook Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 It was one hour before we were supposed to meet, I was getting ready to leave, but I checked my email and that's when he canceled. He cancelled via EMAIL???!? One hour before??? I wouldn't go out with him, panda. He blew it. Big time.
Trialbyfire Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Long ago, I read that guys tend to marry girls 1/2 their age plus 7 years. 38/2 = 19, add 7 = 26. I'm 54. Married this time 16 years. So I must have gotten married when I was 54 - 16 = 38, and she was 28. Just about perfect match. So I wouldn't be concerned. Is this a scientific formula based on maturity level? Sorry, couldn't resist the dig. I'm not being serious. Pandagirl, don't bother giving this guy another chance, if he comes back with another date request. First impressions are important and any guy with 1/2 a brain is fully aware of this. Unless it's an emergency or he's sick/injured, of which moving is never one unless he's got friends that need to move in the middle of the night to skip rent, he's finished like an overgrilled steak. Latah to nevah!
Author pandagirl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 I thought maybe it was in my head that I was being too uppity about the situation, but SERIOUSLY. C'MON, PEOPLE. It's a bonehead move on a guy's part. Granted, the guy does not have my number, but you can't via cancel email and expect the girl to receive the message. If he knew he was going to be moving, he should've left extra time. It just sucks. The guy I write about often here on LS has been circling around. I saw him last week and it pretty much deflated any kind of woman-boner I had for him, which is GOOD, but it also made me angry that an arrogant dude like that ALWAYS has a gf, while here I am, a nice, intelligent girl, eating pretzels and cheese in my sweats watching TV. He's also mysteriously just started popping up on my gchat list, too. ugh. It just makes me eager to find someone...ANYONE to restore the faith in myself to like another man. This experience today didn't help.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Uppity? What...expecting someone to follow through on a commitment is a bad reflection on you? You know this isn't true.... Oh, and by the way? For the guy who said these things happen at the last minute? HE ALREADY MADE A COMMITMENT for the evening. If I called a friend at the last minute to ask for help moving and they told me they had a date, I would be a total jerk to ask them to break their date to help me. And EMAIL?? This happened to a friend of mine once. I met her out at a nearby bar because she had been stood up. Beautiful, stunning woman, by the way. Totally laid back and cool, and just very awesome all around. Man, she was bummed. When she got home she got the email. Actually, it was even worse than that. This was a Match date and he sent it to her via Match, even though he HAD HER PHONE NUMBER. Pandagirl- Next!!! You are way too cool for this tool.
D-Lish Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Okay, not cool- cancelling an hour before the date via e-mail is a dude-box move. I wouldn't give him a second chance- it was a lame excuse and a rude move. He's fired.
Author pandagirl Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Thanks everyone! I feel better. The worst part is I was really trying to *push* myself to meet someone. I was trying to make an effort of put myself out there, which I haven't done in months. Now I've just been positively reinforced even more that dating is worthless and I'll never find anyone. Ok. Pity party over.
Shygirl15 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Are we still on the age topic or something else happened? If we are, I will say 38 is nothing, infact way too young for me. The older the better.
Author pandagirl Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 OK, the guy just wrote me today and wanted to meet up again. My social schedule is packed until next week. Should I give him another chance? I'm inclined to just write back: "I'm busy until mid next week," and see what he comes back with. Or should I just forget about it?
D-Lish Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 OK, the guy just wrote me today and wanted to meet up again. My social schedule is packed until next week. Should I give him another chance? I'm inclined to just write back: "I'm busy until mid next week," and see what he comes back with. Or should I just forget about it? For sure sweetie- tell him you are busy.... and re-schedule. Just remember it's a first time meeting, so, the trepidation behind the first meeting can't count for much.... and it doesn't mean much. It's not rejection because he's never met you! Sure, give a second chance- but give him one or two open days. "I have a busy week- I could do Tuesday or thursday".... otherwise i am booked ;-). I said no way before.... but it might just be cold feet.... and you have them too.... so- take the second chance. If he eff's up again- then he's done. cheers pretty girl! D
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