pandagirl Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Tomorrow, I am going on a date with a man who is 38. I am 30. I know that we are both adults and the age difference shouldn't be an issue, but I can't help but let it bother me. Maybe because I have never dated anyone older than 30 before, in fact, I more often date younger men. Already, my mind has already built up some negatives to this poor fellow, before even giving him a chance! I'll admit, when I was 21, the thought of dating a 29 year old wouldn't bother me...but 38 is close to 40, and yes -- I am totally psyching myself out. Someone tell me I'm stupid?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 You're being stupid. Just go out with the guy. Besides, you're both over thirty. It's not like you are 16 and he is 24.
Citizen Erased Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Could be worse...you could still be 21 and he 38. Now that is an age difference, 8 years is nothing.
BlueEyedGirl Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 It depends on your lifestyle. I have just turned 30 and have more in common with a 22 year old guy than with 38. All my friends are 19-26.
Trialbyfire Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Go out and have some fun, pandagirl. You might be pleasantly surprised how little difference 8 years makes, when the two of you are in your thirties or older. Relax!!
Author pandagirl Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Thanks for the reassurance! I need to relax. I guess, ultimately, I don't see myself ending up with a guy that is that much older than me, but this is my whole problem -- I tend to put walls up for no reason at all, and I wonder why dating is so hard for me! haha. And seeing I live in the land of arrested development, I'm sure a 38-year-old man has the emotional countenance of a 25-year-old, which is good...and bad.
Stockalone Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I agree with BlueEyedGirl that it depends on your lifestyle; and what you are looking for. There is nothing wrong with it. However, I am a 30 year old guy and I wouldn't date a woman who is 38. I would be too concerned about her age, or rather about her biological clock.
alphamale Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Tomorrow, I am going on a date with a man who is 38. I am 30. I know that we are both adults and the age difference shouldn't be an issue, but I can't help but let it bother me. an 8 year age difference is nothing and no one will even pay attention. if it was 15 yrs then i'd worry
Lizzie60 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Yep.. you're being stupid.. 8 years is nothing..
D-Lish Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Aw, don't get hung up on the age PG... I am 38 and I rarely date over 30. I am changing my mindset about this. 8 Years is not a big age gap. Go in with an open mind and enjoy the opportunity to go out and have a nice time! When I went to Florida I met a nice guy that I originally thought was about 26- he looked great, was young at heart and was sooo much fun to be around. Turns out he was/is 36. I was pleasantly surprised that a more mature man can look great and still maintain a youthful demeanour. I've been looking toward older men since then.
blind_otter Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Thanks for the reassurance! I need to relax. I guess, ultimately, I don't see myself ending up with a guy that is that much older than me, but this is my whole problem -- I tend to put walls up for no reason at all, and I wonder why dating is so hard for me! haha. And seeing I live in the land of arrested development, I'm sure a 38-year-old man has the emotional countenance of a 25-year-old, which is good...and bad. Eight years is not "much older". JMO, though. Some people might think of it as a huge gap. My S/O is 9 years older than me and mostly I am not even aware of it. He acts more youthful and carefree than I do.
nittanylion Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Tomorrow, I am going on a date with a man who is 38. I am 30. I know that we are both adults and the age difference shouldn't be an issue, but I can't help but let it bother me. Maybe because I have never dated anyone older than 30 before, in fact, I more often date younger men. Already, my mind has already built up some negatives to this poor fellow, before even giving him a chance! I'll admit, when I was 21, the thought of dating a 29 year old wouldn't bother me...but 38 is close to 40, and yes -- I am totally psyching myself out. Someone tell me I'm stupid? My g/f is 29, and I am 38. We have LTR. We have been together for 11 months, and is still in love. Honeymoon is not over to this date.
Lizzie60 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 My g/f is 29, and I am 38. We have LTR. We have been together for 11 months, and is still in love. Honeymoon is not over to this date. Huh???? you call a 11-month relationship a LTR.. Of course honeymoon is not over yet.. 11 months..
D-Lish Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 So's your face. Ok CE, that made me laugh out loud. You've been funny all over the board tonight- been into the sauce? That's the funniest thing I've read all night.
Citizen Erased Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Ok CE, that made me laugh out loud. You've been funny all over the board tonight- been into the sauce? That's the funniest thing I've read all night. Shut them up didn't it. That is the beauty of so's your face. No sauce. Maybe this crazy hot weather is melting my brain.
D-Lish Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Shut them up didn't it. That is the beauty of so's your face. No sauce. Maybe this crazy hot weather is melting my brain. Well that made me laugh from the diahpragm (sp?). Good show.
Isolde Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 A guy that is a bit older than you can make you feel very protected, no matter what your age. Give it a chance! It's all dependent on how he acts and presents himself.
whichwayisup Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Just go on the date with an open mind. Don't let 8 years stress you out..If he's a good guy then age shouldn't be an issue. Besides, once you're in your 30's age doesn't matter much. Even if he was 40 I'd still tell you to go on that date.
prettybaby Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Are you kidding? I'm 25 and the guy I'm seeing right now is 39 If I let it bother me, I'd be missing out big time. He's awesome and we click like I've never clicked with anyone before. Sure there are a couple of differences, obviously. But not big ones, and they don't bother either of us. It's really no issue unless you make it an issue.
Rebellious Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Tomorrow, I am going on a date with a man who is 38. I am 30. I know that we are both adults and the age difference shouldn't be an issue, but I can't help but let it bother me. Maybe because I have never dated anyone older than 30 before, in fact, I more often date younger men. Already, my mind has already built up some negatives to this poor fellow, before even giving him a chance! I'll admit, when I was 21, the thought of dating a 29 year old wouldn't bother me...but 38 is close to 40, and yes -- I am totally psyching myself out. Someone tell me I'm stupid? You're stupid. My last 3 girlfriends were 20, 18 and 27 years younger, age is just a number. Ask any normal 40-yr old man if he wants to be with a woman 50 or 55 and he'll gag. Women don't understand male arousal... well they do when they're older but then it's too late.
Author pandagirl Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 You're stupid. My last 3 girlfriends were 20, 18 and 27 years younger, age is just a number. Ask any normal 40-yr old man if he wants to be with a woman 50 or 55 and he'll gag. Women don't understand male arousal... well they do when they're older but then it's too late. Honestly, this is a good argument as to why women *shouldn't* date much older men! Gross.
anne1707 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Honestly, this is a good argument as to why women *shouldn't* date much older men! Gross. Don't worry. Not all men want to sleep with women young enough to be their daughter. :eek: But eight years is nothing to worry about.
dreamergrl Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Panda, I used to be the same way. Then I dated a few guys that are 10 and 9 years older then me. Even though they didn't work out, I realized that I can still have fun with someone, and relate to someone that is older then me. I never used to be able to date over 30.
clv0116 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Are you kidding? I'm 25 and the guy I'm seeing right now is 39 That's pretty much my dating life. Honestly I think it's a more stable configuration than same age dating. The arguments that you should avoid it because 'people are still changing' at such and so an age don't convince me. People change for a long time.
Author pandagirl Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Welp, the guy canceled on me last minute because he's helping his friend move. Lame. DUNZO!
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