7 month since broken up, 2 month since NC. Can I contact her?

[Justmike101]

I don't know why, maybe it's because I had my LSAT exam today and feel a bit down and relieved at the same time, but I wanna im her and say hi. I miss her enormously. Am I in for a disaster? or could something have changed? Someone beat some sense into me please.

[IcemanJB]

You have to ask yourself: am I ok with any sort of response I may get from her? Or no response at all?

 

If you have some ulterior motive, like trying to "win her back", don't even bother contacting her. You'll just end up hurting afterwards.

[GoneButNotForgotten]

Short Answer: NO!

Longer Answer: HELL NO!

Real answer: It is over. You may not want to accept this, but there is no reason to contact her. She won't make you feel better. Would it make you happier to learn that she is out every night with a different guy in bed? Do not set yourself up for more pain than you have to take. Everyone has their off days. She is no longer the one you can turn to for support. If she had really changed her mind on anything she would have gotten in contact with you.

 

Think about that. She knows how to contact you. You could have moved, changed your number, and blocked her from every social network on the planet and she could still get a hold of you. She knows who your friends are and probably has one of their numbers buried away in case she needs it. Yet she has not done this. The message is clear. You may not like the message. But that doesn't mean it is going to change.

[Justmike101]

thank you for the responses. I just took my LSAT exam and it was around this time that my ex dumped me. For some odd reason I felt this enormous sense of grief and depression come over me, which is unusual considering I've been so good and strong lately. I guess it's sort of like a 2nd reality check after experiencing something I was used to with her... driving through the familiar neighborhood, being with me during the exam etc..

[IcemanJB]

I hear ya on that ^^^. I have to take a different route to class than I used to, because whenever I'd walk with her from my place back to hers I would always use the same route. Our last kiss, the night we broke up, etc. all went along that path...so yeah, I don't walk that way anymore lol.

 

Just sleep on any urge you have to contact her. 99% of the time you'll realize it was a horrible idea the next day.

[GoneButNotForgotten]

Just sleep on any urge you have to contact her. 99% of the time you'll realize it was a horrible idea the next day.

 

Completely and 100% the truth. It is something I find myself doing all the time. Then again that goes for more than contacting the ex for me. I'm impulsive at times and prone to act on a whim. But it works very well for breakups. Taking time to step back and view things without the emotion helps more than a lot of people realize.

[lonelygurl]

I don't know why, maybe it's because I had my LSAT exam today and feel a bit down and relieved at the same time, but I wanna im her and say hi. I miss her enormously. Am I in for a disaster? or could something have changed? Someone beat some sense into me please.

 

 

sorry don't know your story??? who broke up with who???

 

and why do you want to contact her???

 

maybe you need to find a different friend to talk to about the relief from exams. Might be best to let sleeping dogs lie especially if she broke up with you!!

[msjules]

Didn't this chick call you a stalker after you broke up? As I recall she treated you worse than the dirt on the bottom of her shoe. I wouldn't give her the damned time of day. She doesn't deserve it.

[Justmike101]

Didn't this chick call you a stalker after you broke up? As I recall she treated you worse than the dirt on the bottom of her shoe. I wouldn't give her the damned time of day. She doesn't deserve it.

 

You are right. What she did was really ***ed up. I don't know why I always tried to downplay it.

[nature]

justmike...have you contacted her yet? If not, then please don't. Let your emotions cool down. Preparing for, and writing the LSAT, is an extremely emotionally and taxing endeavour. It is natural that you would want to call her at this time. It brings back so many memories. Good and bad. Yes, she was with you the last time you wrote the exam. But then she dumped you afterwards. So it's natural that writing it is going to bring back all the old memories.

 

Just let things lie right now. Get some rest. Have a hot bath. Think about your future. Dream about being a lawyer. Read a book. Watch a movie. And be proud of yourself for striving for your dream of law school. The best revenge is success.

 

When you are ready to talk to her, it will happen. Either you will bump into each other, or whatever. But right now, you need to just get some rest after this exam. It's so natural for an exhausting thing like this exam to make your emotions go all chaotic. I have the same thing happen to me. Sometimes I'm so good. And then other times just a smell or a road can trigger something in me that reminds me of him, and it's like the wind is knocked right out of me again.

 

Just ride this through. If you feel the need to contact her, wait until you have recouped. Now is not the time to do it. Please.

[Justmike101]

thank you for your kind words. No I did not contact her. I hung out with bunch of my friends and one of them was a mutual friend. I knew my ex had a bf but to have it confirmed by my friend hurt me a lot. It also helped me get closer to closure. I hope I'm going to be ok. She was my first love but I wasn't her first. It's very hard for me especially today but I can already sense that this too shall pass.

[aiina]

thank you for your kind words. No I did not contact her. I hung out with bunch of my friends and one of them was a mutual friend. I knew my ex had a bf but to have it confirmed by my friend hurt me a lot. It also helped me get closer to closure. I hope I'm going to be ok. She was my first love but I wasn't her first. It's very hard for me especially today but I can already sense that this too shall pass.

 

The more you manage to stay NC, the better, until you reach the point you are doing it for yourself. It really surprise me when men talk the way you did on this post about your ex, and -if they have the chance- they will be running back to them.

 

One of my best friends was dumped a month after they moved together, she was cheating on him nearly on his face, and he was 'still' thinking that she was 'confused'. A month after the break up she got engaged to the other boy, and my friend was 'still' thinking that she might be missing him and what they shared.

 

She contacted him once (because she had an argument with his current boyfriend) and tried to be friends with him ... until she got back again to her boyfriend.

 

For the last year and a half my friend has just been waiting for her to 'be back' and having a few dates (some with nice girls) that didn't work because he was 'waiting'. It hurts us seeing him this way, really.

 

Sorry for making it so long, but, please, do it for yourself, get yourself out of this pattern, go out and meet other people. If you keep stucked to her, all you'll have will be some useless on/off relationship for long, long time.

 

It's fantastic that you have not contacted her for the last 2 months, keep going