griffinchicken53 Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 i'm just curious, what happens when Person A moves with a job, and Person B's choice is LDR or to move, and Person A won't move, leaving Person B pondering leaving friends and family behind and moving out to Person A, or considering ending the relationship? Not asking for me but for a friend, this seems kind of one-sided and selfish, but maybe just me. what do you guys think?
Geishawhelk Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 This isn't a relationship, it's a break up.
Author griffinchicken53 Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 yea my friend Person B has been pondering over this for a few weeks.
KikiW Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Just my observation but Person A doesn't appear to have actually discussed with Person B anything about a job move and options regarding their relationship prior to moving. It seems to me like A made the move without regard, either believing that B would simply go with them, or it was the end of the relationship. B should break up with A and find someone who gives a damn about their feelings.
ssb Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Definitely break up and move on. I was in the same situation - he told me AFTER he had accepted the job and made his decision. We stayed in an LDR and got married (disastrous!) and I find myself constantly wondering why I made such a fool of myself. All the signs were right there- it was obvious he didnt care about my feelings but I deluded myself and am in a pretty miserable marriage now.
Author griffinchicken53 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 my opinion is it seemed a bit conceited, self centered. i know with the job market sometimes you have to go where the jobs are..... i've yet to come out and say I think she should break it off. I just say she should do whatever makes her happy.
Island Girl Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 i'm just curious, what happens when Person A moves with a job, and Person B's choice is LDR or to move, and Person A won't move, leaving Person B pondering leaving friends and family behind and moving out to Person A, or considering ending the relationship? If Person A is getting a promotion and a way to make more money for the couple's future then that needs to be a hefty consideration. It is about the couple together and their life together. If they are truly committed, well then sometimes life does take couples away from friends or family for a time. If Person A is making the move because of strengthening their career and is willing to do LD then Person B should consider LD as well as the possible move. It really depends upon how committed they are to each other and a future together.
Double Oh Seven Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 When you're in a LDR you have to consider the possibility of moving. If the relationship is serious and both are equally committed then one or the other will end up moving. It's case by case. Sometimes, one person can't move, but the other can and so on. In the end, you have to move for the right reason. But when someone is capable of moving and just won't then I scratch my head at why they would open themselves up for that possibility by entering into an LDR to begin with. One goes to the other, it's just part of a LDR.
Lucky_One Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Griffin, I really can't offer an opinion on this. I don't know how strong their R is/was, how much or if they talked about the job offer, I don't know if the job was sought after or offered, I don't know what sort of future plans they had made. Sorry.
Author griffinchicken53 Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 i just want to see it work out. she deserves to be happy.
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