Confused918 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 I am a 37 year old female. Married for 13 years. I have 2 kids 13 and 11. I met my husband thru my father, he is 10 years older than I am. It never has been what I really wanted, Let me tell my story, and If anyone has any advice for me, Thank you. In high school, i dated a guy that I thought was the love of my life, he was my other half for 2 years. My parent loved him, my siblings adored him. Something happend at the end, and he broke it off, I went on and dated another guy, who my parents just despised, in this time my HS sweetheart was still visiting my parents, wanting to know if i was 'avaliable' the current boyfriend started cheating on me, and hit me, my HS SH came to my rescue. He was there when I needed him. 4 weeks after that mess, he asked me for a second chance. I didnt want to mentally, but deep down, I had fallen In love with him all over again. I never told him this. He waited a few more weeks and asked again for another chance, I couldnt help myself and gave into him, he never showed up, never called. I was heartbroken AGAIN.. I couldnt understand why he would Break my heart, heal it and then break it again. I met my now husband 13 months later, we were married after 15 months of dating, I was pregant with our first child at this time, He didnt really want to get married, I knew that. But he did for "the baby" Things are just not there anymore, I know they arent, He has gotten mad at me for stupid things, He treats me like a child, I just don't know how much longer I can hang out for the kids. The kids see what he does, and frankly they dont like it, they tell me so. Here is the kicker, after all these years I still think about my HS SH. I feel like he was my meant to be soulmate. I used to drive by his house to see if he was home on my way home from work EVERYDAY.. a month ago, He called me, He called me to tell me that a friend of ours from highschool had passed away. We have talked everyday since that phone call, via email, text messages, and telephone, my husband knows how this man is, and how i felt about him, he has read my diary. He KNOWS... He doesnt care, He told me he doesnt care who i talk to or what i do anymore. My HS SH is in a relationship of 10 years, on and off with this girl. She told his nieces that if he didnt buy her a ring for christmas it was over and she was going to leave him, the nieces told him, and he bought her a "promise to be true" ring. I have told him all about how miserable I am. He still has things that I bought for him 16 years ago, as do i have things he bought me, it sounds really stupid i know. He told me Monday, to pray that his GF "dumps" him. that bothered me. I have filed divorce papers and retracted them once already, HSSH knows that and knows that I am on the verge of divorce as we speak. We live 1500 miles apart, we never slept together, never. Why is this soo deep of feelings? I know part of it could be the vulnerablity that i could be having with a possible divorce looming. any advice? anyone?
Spectre Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 If your HS SH was really your soulmate..well, you would of ended up together instead of the situation you're in now. He wouldn't of broken your heart not once, but twice. I'd stay away from him, if he truly loved you he wouldn't be dating other women, etc.
Author Confused918 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Posted February 6, 2009 I forgot to include that he was diagnosed as being bipolar 7 years ago. Which would in a way explain the switch in his attitude back then.
annieo Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 If he was bipolar then, then he is likely bipolar now. Are you willing to deal with that? I think that this guy finds you most attractive when you aren't available, and once you are all his, he loses interest. It's more about the drama and being your knight in shining armour, your saviour, not your partner. I'd be very wary about getting involved, and likely dumped, again. If you want to end your marriage, do it without the exbf being part of the equation.
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