anne1707 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 But you started by saying you can't drink alcohol so regardless of cultural issues, why did you make the bet?
Trialbyfire Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 lolem, that's an odd way to phrase it. I've never been invited out for a wine. Here's some standard phrasing: Would you like to go for a drink? (This means, any kind of drink both alcoholic or unalcoholic, your choice.) Would you like to go to a wine tasting event? (This probably means that wine is a hobby of sorts to him.) No one has ever invited me out for a wine, although I've been offered many a glass of wine. If he asks again, just tell him "Sorry I don't drink but if they serve non-alcoholic beverages, I'd like to join you."
wuggle Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Do you like this guy ? do you want a relationship with him ?
Author lolem22 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Posted February 6, 2009 Hi Anne1707, Firstly, I wanted him to do what I demand if he is the loser Secondly, I already had some ways to escape from drinking wine if I lose. Fortunately, I won the bet. I don't have to drink wine with him while he has to do what I want. I just wanted to know the meaning of inviting a girl to go out for a wine in the Western culture. Perhaps it is normal in your culture while it is abnormal in my culture. So I asked you guys about it. Thank you very for your answers.
anne1707 Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 Well as some of the others have said here, you are playing a dangerous game here because you are not being honest with him (or yourself). If you don't want to drink then don't make silly bets and make it clear to him how you feel.
redant Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 It's VERY normal and he probably does not understand that you can not drink wine. Maybe he is ignorant to it. I have heard some Asian people are allergic to wine.
Author lolem22 Posted February 7, 2009 Author Posted February 7, 2009 Wuggle, frankly, I start liking him . But I am trying to control my feelings and to get over it. As I wrote in the another thread, the reason is that he is currently in a relationship. I don't want to be involved in a threesome. But you know it is not easy to get over someone when you are face to face with him everyday.
Author lolem22 Posted February 7, 2009 Author Posted February 7, 2009 Anne1707, thank you for your comment. Yes, I played a very dangerous game. Although I am lucky that I am the winner, I won't repeat a such kind of bet again.
wuggle Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 Wuggle, frankly, I start liking him . But I am trying to control my feelings and to get over it. As I wrote in the another thread, the reason is that he is currently in a relationship. I don't want to be involved in a threesome. But you know it is not easy to get over someone when you are face to face with him everyday. Ok, you like him, and the fact that you 2 are flirting and making silly, teasing, testing, childish bets also means that he likes you. He is in a relationship with someone else. You say you are not happy being involved in a threesome. Here IMO are your options:- 1. Tell him you like him (he already knows this) but you will not start a relationship with him until he is single (that way you preserve your own self respect and keep the moral high ground). Have a fixed date in your head after which you will not continue to wait. 2. Tell him you like him (he already knows this) and you are happy to have a relationship with him in the hope that he will leave his current partner for you (dangerous as often they won't and you will end up wasting a chunk of your life and feel used). But at least you can delay the pain of not having what you want and have some fun in th meantime. 3. Admit to yourself and each other that you are both attracted to each other but not enough for him to leave his partner. and both agree to move on. Try to limit contact with him as best you can and when you do have to have contact keep it profesional and civil. You started this thread about you drinking alchohol when it really has little to do with this, this really is just a side issue. It is about you having reciprocated feelings for a person who is already in a relationship with someone else. Many people have these issues, you really do need to choose one of the above options and act on it an stop torturing yourself over the decision. Good luck
Author lolem22 Posted February 7, 2009 Author Posted February 7, 2009 Your advice is very helpful, thank you very much ! I feel better now. I will get over him.
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