ioncebelieved Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 It finally happened, my ex decided to call me after several months. It is funny to me that it did not hit me like I thought it would if that day ever came and came it did. Even though they call, it does not mean they will say what you have hoped for. I got the 50 life question routine if I am dating/ married and blah blah along with the I want to be friends mess. I was asked several times if I forgive her, which I replied, " I will fully forgive you when one thing happens. You know what that is." For so long I had hope for this woman and I learned to forget hope and go on living. Do not get me wrong, I still want her in my life, but I am not going to play silly games to have her and I am definitely NOT going to be just friends with her. I was strong and the "different" person we become after being hurt. I did tell her my feelings are the same, but did not give her answer about being friends. Forget that nonsense! Finally, Karma has reared it's ugly head! She is having panic/ anxiety attacks on a daily basis and she said that she is depressed at times. I am not having attacks and feeling miserable! I told her I was doing well, which is partially true. To all out there, keep going and do not give up!! Chances are your ex will come back sniffing around and YOU will have the power to decide without having your judgment clouded by love and hurt!
entityzero Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 s**t man its crazy to hear all these storys about ex's calling. i told my ex not to call me if she has anything to do with the dude she's with now (my EX mate), so I guess if she calls then its over between them. which is exactly what i want. i want her to call me and admit she made a huge mistake, it was a bad idea, he's an a**hole and she knew i was right all along. i just want to hear those things before i will forgive her. but for some reason i dont think it will happen, as bad as he is for her i can just sense that they'll be together for a while coz its just too easy for her NOT to end it and admit it was a mistake. so even though hearing from her might set me back a few steps i still hope for the day when she calls me again. i still miss her alot.
westrock Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 I was asked several times if I forgive her, which I replied, " I will fully forgive you when one thing happens. You know what that is." i just want to hear those things before i will forgive her. Forgiveness is not meant to be conditional.
Author ioncebelieved Posted February 6, 2009 Author Posted February 6, 2009 Well I hoped that she would call and really did not think she would. But she did and used her old M.O. when placing the call (hiding her number). I mean my reaction was not would I thought it would be. Which works to my good! These exs are sneaky and try to get back into your life when you least expect it. I was not even thinking of her when she called. I was STRONG!!!!
Author ioncebelieved Posted February 6, 2009 Author Posted February 6, 2009 Forgiveness is not meant to be conditional. Nope, it sure is not. But that was basically my way of telling her that I am not there yet. Why lie? I have not forgiven her for her misdeeds. Maybe one day, just not right now.
foxh1234 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Well done IOB, I'm very proud of you for being so strong. They expect us to be the same people and it is great when we show them we are stronger than ever and living just fine without them. Don't let her sniffing around set you back and don't read too much into it. Keep going the way you are going and good things will happen my friend.
roghornio Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 My ex has been in touch after 8 months of nothing, and wants to meet up. When i got the initial SMS i couldn't believe it to be honest.She also got in touch over Christmas which i just ignored and a few weeks later she's back in touch wanting to meet up. Just bizzarre really. I am going to meet up with her i think. Enough time has passed and i'm SOooo over it - why not.
sid3 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Good jo IOB. Don't allow her contact to set you back. In fact try not to give it much thought, I know it's easier said than done. It's true, they just about always come back.
gutted1 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 In my experience NC has worked everytime, however i hope that it doesn't with my recent ex, we've been split up about 5 months ago, she cheated and lied to me the whole way through our relationship, she makes me sick. If she did contact me it would give my power back and thats all i would want.
Author ioncebelieved Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 If she did contact me it would give my power back and thats all i would want. That's the thing! I now have all the power in the world and it feels good to finally be in control. She called me again on Saturday and we talked for about an hour and a half. I kept it light and funny along with a few old memories that I threw in, but overall I am still holding up well. It is her turn to make an effort. My effort was done in the past!
gutted1 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 That's the thing! I now have all the power in the world and it feels good to finally be in control. She called me again on Saturday and we talked for about an hour and a half. I kept it light and funny along with a few old memories that I threw in, but overall I am still holding up well. It is her turn to make an effort. My effort was done in the past! Thing is for me i think that getting the call and knowing i'd won would be enough, i don't actually think my ex is worth even wasting any time on. . . in my case she treated me soooooooo badly.
sinkerswim Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Mine is still in week one.. we didnt have a bad breakup at all..he wanted a separation..and when I left our apartment..he and I were crying so much...but it was all on good terms. We had many heart to heart talks and he said that I am a significant part of his life and wont easily forget me...and that this is definately not over forever...but ONLY if I want him back. I didn't want this break up at all...he told me he just wasnt happy with things the last 6 months...although we still vacationed together, did things as a couple..etc...no big fights..etc. I had to move all the way from Illinois to PA..because of money..I had to move back here to my home state. I HATED doing it. I feel so far away from him now. His emails are not very personal..just basic stuff.. about mail, the cat..etc. I dont understand how someone can go from talking to you everyday...and seeing them to no phone calls or no personal emails. I went all weekend no contact. I am trying my HARDEST not to email him and ask if he misses me. I am sure he does (as he told me 2 days after I left) but I cannot keep hounding him now... We were together almost 4 years. I feel vulnerable without him...I miss my other half. IT HURTS!!! I need to talk to him. But I gotta keep going here...as hard as it is. I pray he realizes I still love him and just because Im not contacting him..doesnt mean I still dont love him. My head is soo mixed up with that.
gutted1 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Mine is still in week one.. we didnt have a bad breakup at all..he wanted a separation..and when I left our apartment..he and I were crying so much...but it was all on good terms. We had many heart to heart talks and he said that I am a significant part of his life and wont easily forget me...and that this is definately not over forever...but ONLY if I want him back. I didn't want this break up at all...he told me he just wasnt happy with things the last 6 months...although we still vacationed together, did things as a couple..etc...no big fights..etc. I had to move all the way from Illinois to PA..because of money..I had to move back here to my home state. I HATED doing it. I feel so far away from him now. His emails are not very personal..just basic stuff.. about mail, the cat..etc. I dont understand how someone can go from talking to you everyday...and seeing them to no phone calls or no personal emails. I went all weekend no contact. I am trying my HARDEST not to email him and ask if he misses me. I am sure he does (as he told me 2 days after I left) but I cannot keep hounding him now... We were together almost 4 years. I feel vulnerable without him...I miss my other half. IT HURTS!!! I need to talk to him. But I gotta keep going here...as hard as it is. I pray he realizes I still love him and just because Im not contacting him..doesnt mean I still dont love him. My head is soo mixed up with that. Hey you sound like a nice girl and i think that hes being unfair keeping you dangling how he is. Thing is it sounds like you've got no choice but to respect his wishes, you dont wanna be with him if hes not happy do you. I think that maybe sometime apart will be the best thing in your case, it'll go one of two ways at the end of the day. Just don't be a doormat sweetheart you don't deserve it. chin up.
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