avasmomman06 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Can a soul mate be someone your in relationship with or someone you're just friends with? Is it someone you have a lot in common with and/or can't live without? What do you think? Because I don't know
carhill Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 I would think that, for people who believe in such dynamics, it would be unique. Maybe an apt description is that it is as changeable and dynamic as the way one loves. People can love in many different ways and with different depths. If you want my personal description, based on my personal belief, a soul mate is someone with whom you have an elemental emotional and/or spiritual bond and such person, or at least their essence, is always with you and you with them. Their presence in your life adds an additional dimension to it, one that other relationships don't approach. A LS'er told me about feeling "more alive". This makes sense to me, based on my experiences. IMO, one can have a non-romantic soulmate and many such entities are possible in one's life. I've only experienced the phenomena once. I think, for a young person, discerning this quantifiably is difficult, as the true test of the belief is one of time. As a young man, I believed it to be true, but it was only by becoming an older man that I knew it to be true. Remember, the preceding is one spec of sand on the beach of experience and perspective. Billions more to go
amaysngrace Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 A soul mate to me is someone who you connect with on all levels. You would never say to yourself "I don't understand them" because you do as well as you understand yourself. It's someone you have so much in common with, although you are two separate people, that they are almost like being with yourself. They are the reflection of yourself in so many ways. They make you laugh and they make you feel totally accepted in being who you are because they are similar and appreciate that there is someone who gets them too. I have found my soul mate.
Meaplus3 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 My personal belief in a soulmate relationship is that it's a very easy one. There is a natural deep fondeness and affection for each other and a connection that is very profund even in times of hardship and sorrow. The individuals are on the same emotional wavelength with the most important key factors in life...family, career, goals, child rearing and such. I have not found my soulmate yet but he's out there now all I have to do is find him. Mea:)
quankanne Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 agree to what the other posters have said so far, but stress that soul-mates aren't necessarily ALWAYS your SO/spouse/love interest. Mine is my best friend from college, who "gets" me in a way no other person has, and he *still* likes being my friend seriously, though, a soul-mate is someone who helps magnify the person you're meant to be, IMO
Quinch Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 I always understood that your soul mate is the person who you always fall in love with in every reincarnation (if you believe in such a thing). They loved you in all your previous lives and they will return to love you in your next. You will always find each other and be together through eternity. I'm not sure that everyone is meant to have a soul mate, though. Most of us take what we can get in this life
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 I always understood that your soul mate is the person who you always fall in love with in every reincarnation (if you believe in such a thing). They loved you in all your previous lives and they will return to love you in your next. You will always find each other and be together through eternity. Funny you should say that. The first time my BF and I danced he said "I think we were married in another life." How we met was bizarre. We each had gotten divorced within two months of each other, lived in the same town for years, yet we didn't meet until both of our divorces were final. We both honor fidelity so it makes sense we'd meet then. We've had the same dream the same night. Just the other day I was in Atlantic City for an arbitration. He was working there that day. He's a cigarette rep and he goes in and out of stores all day. I don't have a cell phone. He was saying how would we meet up? I told him I'd find him. Sure enough he was on one street and I was on another that was parellel to his. I made a turn and I came to the street he was driving on and met him at the corner. Things like that happen a lot but it's like we don't even think about them anymore. They're pretty common. Still it's intense.
Lizzie60 Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 Can a soul mate be someone your in relationship with or someone you're just friends with? Is it someone you have a lot in common with and/or can't live without? What do you think? Because I don't know There is no such thing as a soulmate.. come on..
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 There is no such thing as a soulmate.. come on.. Why do you say that?
Lizzie60 Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 because I don't believe in soulmate.. I think we can have a great relationship with more than one person.. without them being 'soulmates'.. I see a soulmate as a 'life-long' partner.. and since I don't believe in 'life-long' relationships...
annieo Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 I always understood that your soul mate is the person who you always fall in love with in every reincarnation (if you believe in such a thing). They loved you in all your previous lives and they will return to love you in your next. You will always find each other and be together through eternity. That's my definition as well. I think I read somewhere that it's as if your clay and your soulmate's clay were intertwined as one, on some primordial, pre-lifeform beach, at the birth of the earth. And as you've evolved, your shared beginnings keep drawing you back to each other. Yuck. I'm not a hippie - I can't believe I wrote this:eek: And as much as I try to dismiss the idea as silly and overly romantic (being a jaded, "worldly" woman in my second marriage), I still remember the sense of instant recognition that I had with my current h. And his recognition of me - he thought he knew me from somewhere, and this was long after he had to make any attempts to pick me up. Within 30 minutes of first talking to each other, I felt as comfortable with him as I do today. Like we were old friends from way back. I've never had that experience with anyone before, and I don't expect to have it ever again. That is my personal anecdote, which proves nothing.
Trialbyfire Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 Since I don't believe in reincarnation of any kind, it's difficult to believe in soulmates. IMO, levels of compatibility, foundational recognition triggers and strong physical attraction, create what people believe to be soulmates. You'll also find that both sides of the "soulmate" equation, won't necessarily feel as connected as the other one. Otherwise, why do you have so many unbalanced relationships?
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 I see a soulmate as a 'life-long' partner.. and since I don't believe in 'life-long' relationships... That makes sense. Within 30 minutes of first talking to each other, I felt as comfortable with him as I do today. Like we were old friends from way back. I've never had that experience with anyone before, and I don't expect to have it ever again. We were the same way. Chatted it up like old friends. Since I don't believe in reincarnation of any kind, it's difficult to believe in soulmates. I don't know that I believe in reincarnation either. But I believe in soul mates. It's that thinking that says if you have an imaginary friend as a child it's really just a guardian angel. Well I had one of those too. His name was Chris. And it would make sense that he was my oldest brother, who was also my godfather, who died when I was three. I was a girly girl and really didn't play with boys. Although my brother's name wasn't Chris. But that's beside the point.
Quinch Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 I think I remember an Ancient Greek story that goes like this: Thousands of years ago, humans had four legs, four arms and two heads but only one heart. Zeus, leader of the gods, felt threatened by them so he sent lightening bolts to split them in half and scattered them across the world. He thought that this would create twice as many people to worship him but instead the new humans went in search of their missing half. I think that explains it
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 The way I've seen it used most often is to describe what two people feel for each other who are sleeping together behind someone else's back.
carhill Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 TBH, before joining LS, I most often heard the term used by long-time marrieds of my parents generation. I most poignantly saw it at my mom's dementia ALF where spouses would visit their demented partner daily, feeding them, brushing their hair, helping them to the bathroom and generally just being there for them constantly. It was seeing that kind of devotion which caused me to re-examine my life and my marriage
Trialbyfire Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 A totally cynical definition of solemate = the person I most want to boink!
Touche Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 TBH, before joining LS, I most often heard the term used by long-time marrieds of my parents generation. I most poignantly saw it at my mom's dementia ALF where spouses would visit their demented partner daily, feeding them, brushing their hair, helping them to the bathroom and generally just being there for them constantly. It was seeing that kind of devotion which caused me to re-examine my life and my marriage Have you read (or seen the movie) The Notebook? What a beautiful love story. If that story doesn't depict the essence of what makes two people "soulmates" I don't know what does.
carhill Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I just might write that book someday Haven't read the book but did see the movie. Always a sucker for a great romance
bentnotbroken Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I believe a soulmate is a cultural construct created to dress up people who leave spouses for the person they are gettin freaky with....until the next soulmate comes along.
Touche Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I just might write that book someday Haven't read the book but did see the movie. Always a sucker for a great romance Isn't that one of the best? H and I bickered throughout that movie! Why, you ask? We were arguing about who would "lose it" first and who would have to take care of who... And if that isn't bad enough, we argued about who would have to do what for the other. H: Touche', I'm not putting 3 ice cubes in your juice anymore. You won't even be able to count at that point. Touche': Screw that Mr. OCD, I'm going to mix white and colors when I do the laundry! Not only that, I might leave some of the dresser drawers and closets doors open all night . P H: Well when I come to visit you I'm going to straighten out all your drawers, your closet and your night table. Your night table will have nothing on it but a lamp and maybe a glass of water if you're lucky. Touche': Well that's still better than the pink diapers you'll be wearing (from mixing the whites and colors.) Well I hope you write your book some day, Carhill.
Amy35 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 A soul mate to me is someone who you connect with on all levels. You would never say to yourself "I don't understand them" because you do as well as you understand yourself. It's someone you have so much in common with, although you are two separate people, that they are almost like being with yourself. They are the reflection of yourself in so many ways. They make you laugh and they make you feel totally accepted in being who you are because they are similar and appreciate that there is someone who gets them too. I have found my soul mate. I agree with this... I found my soulmate but he isn't my SO. He is the mirror image of me. He is my best friend...and yep he is a guy!!! He has known me at my worst....and seen me at my very best....we both have been through a divorce....we both have a child around the same age....we both have an interest in the same occupation....we have the same taste in music....we parent in the same way....we often say to each other "What? You Too?" and then laugh....we have the most weirdest conversations....and yet he gets me and I get him. We have had possibly two major disagreements. Both had periods of not talking...in order to let the other calm down and think a bit. But those peroids were like grief for both of us. Then we would make contact and the world would feel right again. I trust him implicitly and it reciprocated. I know he will never intentionally hurt me....and he knows that about me. But we both know that where the other is coming from is from a place of love....not spite or malice or hurt. We have this connection....sometimes I will be in a mood....having a hard time....and he gets this feeling....then he calls me and asks if I am ok. Normally I am not....I say "Why did you call?" He says "I just had a feeling..." One time he was on holiday in Europe....I was having a very, very bad time back home....I knew he was on holiday but yet he called right at the precise moment I needed him to. Sometimes I call him....and he needs me right there and then. We both have partners, had times when we were both single or either one of us were in a relationship....but at all times he is my constant. It's weird but wonderful. The friendship we have is like no other I have. And that is why he is my best friend. As for my SO....the same thing as another poster....we met...within half an hour I felt like I had known him forever....it just seemed soooo comfortable and like I was coming home. (If that makes sense?) The intuition side is not as much as with my BF but it's building...slowly. We started finishing each others sentences....can tell what the other is thinking. But I think in the SO scenario if you spend a lot of time with one person building up the intimacy...then that comes with experience and learning of the other. My SO has met my BF. I was soooo worried they wouldn't get on...I was quite anxious about them meeting....because god forbid should any SO of mine not accept my friends it would be a deal breaker....but it was fantastic! I love my SO with my deepest passion and soul....my love for my best mate is different. I can say I love him as a friend....but it comes nowhere near the love I feel for my SO. And yet I feel like I have known both forever, in this life and previous ones. Oh and for anyone wondering who comes first....my SO does.
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