sfjim02 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 This comes back to the age old question, "how long should I wait to call after you get the digits?" I was the typical 3-day wait guy for a while, but for the first time I actually just threw all that junk away. I figure if this girl gave me her number, then there is no reason to wait. So on Wednesday night I was out with a friend and I met this nice girl who was also with her friends. We talked for a good while and we actually had known mutual people through work in the past, etc. When we were talking one on one in a pretty busy bar, she had no problem getting cheek to cheek with me to hear me talk/ vise versa... She was playing with her hair... Both bodylanguage tells of interest/ comfortability. So later on in the evening, she had to leave because her friends were leaving/ were her ride, I got her digits. Well the way I figure these days, there is no reason not to test the waters, be the man and call the next day after work. So I called tonight a little after 7:00PM... I got her VoiceMail, which is great since she didn't give me a fake number. Anyways, I left a simple message just saying, "Hey ----- this is -----... It was nice to meet you, I had a great time talking to you last night. I hope we can hang out sometime, here's my number ------ give me a call... Bye." She didn't get back to me tonight, but I'm not stressing becuase I know how the game is played. She wouldn't give me her number in the first place if she wasn't looking/ wanted to hear from me again. Question for all of you: What would your initial reaction be to this kind of agressiveness? I know it was only the next evening, but the way I see things now after being on over 15 dates and in a relationship for a short couple months last year alone, that in this day and age you can't let your face be "forgettable(especially if you meet in a bar)" and you have to strike while the iron is hot. So if she doesn't call back, maybe I'll try again next week... Then if she doesn't get back to me after that, then I will forget pursuing any further.
HazelW Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 the 'typical 3 day wait' is so dated- if you want something, you have to go & get it! by calling the next day you showed confidence (good attribute) i personally never give my number out to guys that i have no interest in, women dont want to be bothered by random men that told them their ever so boring life story in a bar! it sounds like you & her hit it off just hold tight & you'll get the reply you wanted good luck!
Sari Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 It would depend on how much I liked them if I'm being honest... if I was really keen on a guy and he called after 1 day I would be thrilled, if I was a bit unsure of whether I liked him or not it would probably put me off a bit... sorry! I know this is typical game-playing rubbish but unfortunately at the beginning some gentle game-playing works, if I was unsure about a guy and he started acting aloof then man I would want that guy so much more! The old 'you always want what you can't have' syndrome - hopefully one day I will grow out of it! Good luck anyway!
lino Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 She wouldn't give me her number in the first place if she wasn't looking/ wanted to hear from me again. This is not always true. So if she doesn't call back, maybe I'll try again next week... Then if she doesn't get back to me after that, then I will forget pursuing any further. This sounds like a good idea.
Surfer Dude Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 the 'typical 3 day wait' is so dated- if you want something, you have to go & get it! by calling the next day you showed confidence (good attribute) i personally never give my number out to guys that i have no interest in, women dont want to be bothered by random men that told them their ever so boring life story in a bar! it sounds like you & her hit it off just hold tight & you'll get the reply you wanted good luck! Just because a woman gave out her number doesn't mean she's interested. Just like any other guy, I've had tons of women give me their number, only to flake and say they're not interested later. Why do they give out their numbers? For no reason, for any reason, for all reasons... it doesn't really matter.
prettybaby Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 When I get somebody's voicemail while calling them, I generally say something like: "hey -blah blah- I'll call you back later, or if you get a chance before I do, here's my number". That way, they're free to call me back if they like, or I can call again without sounding desperate, since I already announced I probably would anyway. In any case, I wouldn't be too worried. If you don't hear from her by Monday, just call again and take it from there.
alphamale Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 She wouldn't give me her number in the first place if she wasn't looking/ wanted to hear from me again. thats really not true, many women will give you the digits with no intention of going out. they just don't return your calls and hope you get teh message these women call it "being nice"
Author sfjim02 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Posted February 6, 2009 Thanks for the well thought out replies guys. I do agree actually with the statement that just because a girl gives a guy their number, doesn't mean that they want to see you again. I just have the wool over my eyes, because thus far in my world, I usually get the real number and at least a call back/date. Once last year I got my first fake number for the first time in my life, but it was just after meeting a girl for five minutes in the back of a cab we were sharing after a night out, and I was with an annoying friend so I don't blame that girl, haha. I actually laughed. I've been on quite a bit of dates last year, but never really felt anything special you know? Never really hit it off like this one, but still whatever, hell I still don't know her. But I think this girl was truly interested, I got along good with her friends and they all seemed to like me. We were at a karaoke bar too, and I sang a duet with one of her friends(there were five of them) and another one wanted me to sing with her too but it was too late. They thought I had a great voice, haha. Also, when she went outside to see that her friend wanted to leave, she came back inside and found me to say good bye, that she was leaving... Asked me when I typically go to this bar. She was buying time to give me a chance I think to ask her for her number, which I did. Anyway, I thought it was an interesting night, because I took a different approach on meeting girls and it seemed to work out thus far, this is why I took the new "day after" approach with the phone call. I almost feel like George Costanza in Seinfeld, like when he started doing the complete opposite of the regular and it benefited him. ha
Author sfjim02 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Posted February 6, 2009 Let the games begin... She just texted me at noon. Said she was at dinner with a friend from out of town last night, got my message and wants to hangout sometime... This just goes to show you, throw all the rules out of the window... It's all about chemistry and how you approach people/ life. Just stay confident in everything you do and you will be ok. I have confidence problems all the time growing up extremely shy, but now I have an outlook on life saying whats the worse that can happen? We worry too much about that one word "no."
openbook08 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 wow! fantastic, good for you! i wouldve responded to you to tell you that from my point of view id be more than happy if the guy contacted me the next day! but i guess you dont need to know that now. have fun!!
Author sfjim02 Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Update: Ok, so she texted me back after my call, then I got into the texting game. I told her via text that we should hang out next week, she said definitly. We continued to text, to the point i finished it saying i'll give you a call tomorrow afternoon so we can set something up... She responded "sounds good." So, I called her today, and she didn't answer. I left her a message saying, hey it's ---- jsut giving you a call, call me back when you get a chance. Then, about three hours later, she said shes been with her family all day unexpectly, and that she was free three days next week, but would be going out tonight at a bar that was near to my work and wondered if I wanted to tag along for her friends birthday. So, long story short I head out after work late 1130pm, I meet up with her and her good friend. Soooo, long story short, we only have like one drink together after having no luck getting into some bars, but the three of us go sit down at a resturaunt and have a late night snack. Well I thought the night went well, I mean I had jsut got off work so I was a little tired so my full personality was not up to speed, and I was a little bit nervous since her good friend was there to and I would have to entertain both. Thus in the end of the night, we took a cab to where her friend was parked, I said good night to both girls and I gave the girl a hug, then parted ways in my cab back to my house. Well I get home like 10 minutes later, and I forgot like an idiot that these girls had to go into the parking garage to get to their car... Poor mistake on my part, I feel really dumb for not escourting them. So I texted her after I got home just saying "hey, I completly forgot you had to go into the parking garage for your car, did you get home OK?" Was this stupid on my part to message her? I mean we had been messaging the past two days, so i didn't see any harm in it. But, does this seem cheesy or have any other undertones of texting her so late, although she was obviously still up? She hasn't texted me back, so I hope everything was fine, but in the long run I hope she had a good time on this imprompatu meeting. Any thoughts?
Rebellious Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 She wouldn't give me her number in the first place if she wasn't looking/ wanted to hear from me again. That's very rational/logical male thinking, but many girls give you their number but won't answer the phone. Don't sweat the timing, just call her once & leave a message, if she doesn't call back, blow her off.
blondesmiler Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 the 'typical 3 day wait' is so dated- if you want something, you have to go & get it! by calling the next day you showed confidence (good attribute) I totally and whole heartedly agree. What blokes don't realise is that most women would like the call very soon after if they liked them. The 3day wait can be for a women horrid and can question a guys interest in them. At the end of the day I believe if you like someone, they like you and its meant to go further, it should be easy, free flowing, no quesioning when you should do this or that, it just happens with ease.
openbook08 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Update: Well I get home like 10 minutes later, and I forgot like an idiot that these girls had to go into the parking garage to get to their car... Poor mistake on my part, I feel really dumb for not escourting them. So I texted her after I got home just saying "hey, I completly forgot you had to go into the parking garage for your car, did you get home OK?" Was this stupid on my part to message her? I mean we had been messaging the past two days, so i didn't see any harm in it. But, does this seem cheesy or have any other undertones of texting her so late, although she was obviously still up? She hasn't texted me back, so I hope everything was fine, but in the long run I hope she had a good time on this imprompatu meeting. Any thoughts? i think everythings going lovely right now! i wouldnt have thought bad of you for not walking me to the garage, esp. if my friend was with me but i wouldve thought it sweet of you to think of it, even if it was an afterthought! and texting was totally appropriate.
openbook08 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I totally and whole heartedly agree. What blokes don't realise is that most women would like the call very soon after if they liked them. The 3day wait can be for a women horrid and can question a guys interest in them. At the end of the day I believe if you like someone, they like you and its meant to go further, it should be easy, free flowing, no quesioning when you should do this or that, it just happens with ease. well said blondesmiler! agree
Chicago_Guy Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Update: Ok, so she texted me back after my call, then I got into the texting game. I told her via text that we should hang out next week, she said definitly. We continued to text, to the point i finished it saying i'll give you a call tomorrow afternoon so we can set something up... She responded "sounds good." So, I called her today, and she didn't answer. I left her a message saying, hey it's ---- jsut giving you a call, call me back when you get a chance. Then, about three hours later, she said shes been with her family all day unexpectly, and that she was free three days next week, but would be going out tonight at a bar that was near to my work and wondered if I wanted to tag along for her friends birthday. So, long story short I head out after work late 1130pm, I meet up with her and her good friend. Soooo, long story short, we only have like one drink together after having no luck getting into some bars, but the three of us go sit down at a resturaunt and have a late night snack. Well I thought the night went well, I mean I had jsut got off work so I was a little tired so my full personality was not up to speed, and I was a little bit nervous since her good friend was there to and I would have to entertain both. Thus in the end of the night, we took a cab to where her friend was parked, I said good night to both girls and I gave the girl a hug, then parted ways in my cab back to my house. Well I get home like 10 minutes later, and I forgot like an idiot that these girls had to go into the parking garage to get to their car... Poor mistake on my part, I feel really dumb for not escourting them. So I texted her after I got home just saying "hey, I completly forgot you had to go into the parking garage for your car, did you get home OK?" Was this stupid on my part to message her? I mean we had been messaging the past two days, so i didn't see any harm in it. But, does this seem cheesy or have any other undertones of texting her so late, although she was obviously still up? She hasn't texted me back, so I hope everything was fine, but in the long run I hope she had a good time on this imprompatu meeting. Any thoughts? I have a question here - if she really liked you, why did she invite her friend along?
BCCA Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 I have a question here - if she really liked you, why did she invite her friend along? I was thinking the same thing. Generally, not a good sign.
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