Trialbyfire Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 LovieDovie, just read your thread. Did you send him that last email?
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 Yes I sent him that email. I'm pissed and rightly so. Obviously I know the real answer is option 3, but I just wanted to get a final message across to him if ya know what I mean. And telling me to re-read my thread is not helpful. There's an old saying that goes "It's hard to see the picture when you're stuck inside the frame." What exactly are you trying to imply by telling me to re-read this?
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 Oh wait...NO I didn't send him that overly dramatic one from awhile back! (If thats the one you were asking about). I only sent him the one about being in the ICU, dead, or just a plain ol' dick.
Trialbyfire Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 No, no, my apologies, I'll reword what I meant: "LovieDove, I just read your thread" as opposed to: "read your thread"
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 Ohhh and I mis-read what you originally said TBF. You said "Just read your thread" referring to yourself...I thought you were saying to "Just Read your thread" talking to me. Sorry my anger is blinding me
Trialbyfire Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 No worries! Okay, while I personally wouldn't have advised you to send the ICU email, it's done. DON'T send him another email. He's got too much going on in his life right now, to focus on a relationship. Just let him go. If he comes back, DON'T take him back. When a guy is trapped in Never-Neverland of uncertainty without the ability and willingness to communicate his concerns to you, he's going to jack you around again. RUN, LovieDove, RUN!!
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 Glad we're on the same page now:p
gwynieatpain Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 How could I miss this whole thread the past few days? It's been so helpful to me also. I'm in similar situation and have posted a thread in LDR forum. It's emotionally abusive when they don't reply with a call or a text for no reason. Your relationship with this guy is much solid than mine with my bf-to-be but I am not sure email is the best way to go. I would say you should clear things up with him, face-to-face perhaps, just to make sure that your message to him can communicate across. It also goes to show him that you value and respect the relationship you have with him. But I also understand that you may feel discomfort to ask him out after a long silent period. To me, the real doormat behavior is waiting around and not standing up to tell my guy for what I want ... and now I realize I'm doing it (special thanks to IslandGirl ) I know guys don't like the line "we-need-to-talk" but I would rather speak for myself instead of waiting around. If it turns out to be a break up between us, let it be and I will just move on.
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 I understand what you are saying Gwyn about having a final word in what is going on. Believe me I'd LOVE to have some closure on this issue. I hate that I am left guessing as to why we are broken up. Was it our last conversation we had? Did he feel I was asking him to put our relationship in front of his son? Was I being too demanding and/or bitchy when I asked him for a definite answer to whether or not we'd have plans that Wednesday? Maybe it was me not letting my guard down? Or maybe it was just a buildup over time. Who the hell knows. I probably never will because short of going and knocking on his front door, I'll probably never hear from him again. What a bastard :lmao:
gwynieatpain Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 I hate that I am left guessing as to why we are broken up. Was it our last conversation we had? Did he feel I was asking him to put our relationship in front of his son? Was I being too demanding and/or bitchy when I asked him for a definite answer to whether or not we'd have plans that Wednesday? Maybe it was me not letting my guard down? Or maybe it was just a buildup over time. Who the hell knows. Or it could be other BS excuses that totally blow you off. Who knows? Even if it is BS, take it and leave with no regret cos you have done your part! What a bastard :lmao: Ya they are bastard! But I love him still. Dam#n! struggling!
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 All men please take note! This is the absolute worst way you could break up with a woman. Absolute worst. The truth I can work with and grow from. It may be hard to hear but at least I can take ownersip and learn from it. Silence on the other hand just leads me to believe its all YOUR fault...communication problems and whatnot. That and, you're a dick.
4givrnt4gtr Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 Subject: WTH? Message: Either you're in the Intensive Care Unit, dead, or a complete dick. Which one is it? You know, this email tells him you are royally irritated with him BUT if he is good enough and has a really great explanation (like he WAS in ICU) you would take him back. I would have totally sent him a cold email saying ahem: Subject: It was nice to meet you Message: Dear (Jerk, or his real name whatever you choose to use). Its obvious we are in different stages in our lives and want different things out of the relationship. It was great to have met you and wish you well. i expect no response, judging by your lack of response before, so this is more a means to formally end our relationship. Good luck in life Total kickass girl who wont be taken for a ride. I feel this way he knows there is nothing he can do to get you back, he lost his chance and in any case, you deserve better than this jerk so, rock on and find yourself an amazing man
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 Im feelin pretty sad right now so the fact that I'm hearing what I SHOULD have said compared to what I DID say is an even bigger kick in the pants. You're right, what you said sounds a hell of a lot better. Damn damn me. I want to take back what I said and send him that. I truly won't take him back but I can see where that email would lead him to believe that. I more or less was trying to make him feel like a piece of ****. Even I can't do that right. I'm so sick of always being left in the dust...
2sunny Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 i think your correspondence was fine. you stated what he appears to be - a *ick. he could be a decent person but he's not... so why sugar coat his bad behavior? i think you did fine.
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 Sorry everybody...I'm not usually in a pity party mode. Thanks 2sunny.
4givrnt4gtr Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Im feelin pretty sad right now so the fact that I'm hearing what I SHOULD have said compared to what I DID say is an even bigger kick in the pants. You're right, what you said sounds a hell of a lot better. Damn damn me. I want to take back what I said and send him that. I truly won't take him back but I can see where that email would lead him to believe that. I more or less was trying to make him feel like a piece of ****. Even I can't do that right. I'm so sick of always being left in the dust... Oh darling, no no, you said what you needed to say... I just took over and spew a bit of poison my own way just cuz I hate how some "adults" think the dissapearing act is ok. DOnt feel too bad about this. Obviously he wasnt worth it for the long run. Whatever his issue is, he isnt what YOU need. Seriously...do you want a man who gets spooked for no good reason and hasnt grown past the age of 16 to deal with it? Probably not. Bassically, its his issue and deal. You just shake it off, and treat yourself the way you wish to be treated. THat way, you wont let anyone treat you bellow those standards. Also, whats important is that YOU know you wont take him back...and if we want to be petty and silly about it, your email might be perfect so that he crawls back and then you get to reject him (sorry, again just spewing a bit of poison....) In any case, treat yourserlf well, I know the kicking your self esteem gets after something like this, but really, you are amazing despite whatever he might think, so dont forget that in the confusion of the whys.... Hugs!!
Trialbyfire Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Forget about "woulda', coulda', shoulda'". It all adds up to naught. He's pulled...just let him go. It's no use trying to communicate with someone who doesn't want to communicate. Let it go.
westrock Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 LovieDove.. Subject: WTH? Message: Either you're in the Intensive Care Unit, dead, or a complete dick. Which one is it? That's a tough email for any guy to receive, but your email sends a clear message to him that you're not happy. I'm sorry you have had to go through such heartbreak without having received any communication from him. You cannot control his actions (or lack of actions in this case), the only thing you can do is control how you deal with the situation. Decide what's best for you, even if that means moving on. The only suggestion I have for you is that if he does reach out to you in any way, be open to listen to him even if his only explanation was that he needed time to think. Any guy who receives an email like you sent him knows he's in deep trouble and probably has no clue how to make things right with you.
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 Thanks all. I agree with what everyone said--funny because some of your viewpoints are differing. Yesterday I was at this secondhand bookstore and I looked up at the wall and saw the serenity prayer. What a help that one is to stop and make you think! I understand I cannot change his behavior or make him give me an explanation. It surely is frustrating but I can't very well change it. I know this got to be a very long thread but thanks again to all who kept in touch.
Author LovieDove24 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 I had to throw this out there for anyone whos kept up on my thread. Dude effin sent me an email today. But it was a political email that he sent to his two best friends, me and his mom. Seriously, wtf? It's been three weeks now and whatever its safe to say Im over him. But did he seriously think this was any kind of way to send a peace offereing? A fricken email about Obama after 3 weeks of NC? Ugh I'm in awe at the ridiculousness of it all.
carina81gr Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I had to throw this out there for anyone whos kept up on my thread. Dude effin sent me an email today. But it was a political email that he sent to his two best friends, me and his mom. Seriously, wtf? It's been three weeks now and whatever its safe to say Im over him. But did he seriously think this was any kind of way to send a peace offereing? A fricken email about Obama after 3 weeks of NC? Ugh I'm in awe at the ridiculousness of it all. well i am 99% sure he is trying to approach u!!i have tried that recipe too what happened in the end?i have the impression u got back with him again;-)
darby1 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 MOVE ON... you are in the real getting to know him stage and your getting to know the things you don't like about him.. he is clearly flaky. And also consider what's been established.. he doens't have to respect you and you will still be there. You proved that! so consider this mini-relationship O V E R. and anyway.. you don't want that wonder in your life. Find someone who brings pleasure into your busy world.. not anxiety. Do yourself a favor. Let him go get his **** together and seek happiness.
Author LovieDove24 Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 MOVE ON... you are in the real getting to know him stage and your getting to know the things you don't like about him.. he is clearly flaky. And also consider what's been established.. he doens't have to respect you and you will still be there. You proved that! so consider this mini-relationship O V E R. and anyway.. you don't want that wonder in your life. Find someone who brings pleasure into your busy world.. not anxiety. Do yourself a favor. Let him go get his **** together and seek happiness. I'm not one of the LS posters who needs to be beaten over the head with a two by four. I have moved on. You don't need to demand it of me. As for the email, I never responded. I have not received anything else from him and can only assume it was mistakenly sent.
Recommended Posts