sinkerswim Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Well, some of you might remember my story... Let me just ask... Will this pain EVER end?? I lived in Illinois with my man for well over a year..and since he broke it off I had to move back to PA. Now I am homesick for HIM, LIVING WITH HIM, for where I lived. I feel sooo out of my element here in my homestate. It feels awful. I never thought I would say that. But I want to be back where I belong. I know I am very depressed about losing him...I can hardly stand not talking to him. I MISS HIM SOOO BAD..I just want to call and tell him how much I miss him. I feel sick. I can hardly cope.. I went to a temp agency today and failed the one test..because all I thought about was him and my life I had with him. We were once so happy... I cannot believe this is over. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. I am having a hard time here. I wake up every morning to the reality that it is now over and I can hardly move. We were together ALMOST 4 years..in the beginning was Long distance.. then I moved out there after he promised to marry me. I HATE THIS SOOO MUCH. I just want to return to normal . I would do anything to go back to the way it was.
lonelygurl Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 All I can tell you is I know how you feel. I don't know when the pain ends. I think it can take a very long time. I am 2 months into my X dumping me for the second time and I'm not any better. The first time I still wasn't very good after six months. So I don't know. When you love someone deeply it can take a very long time. I have been a bit "nastier" this time towards him with my anger and rollercoaster of emotions and wanting to lash out and make him hurt the way he has hurt me a second time. And today I sent him a message saying how betrayed I felt and that I don't think he ever really loved me. Well he got pissed and said he didn't want to hear from me again. I'm sure he was pissed because over a week ago I told him I had blocked him and said I never wanted to hear from him again. The rollercoaster of emotions you go through is unbelievable. I have days were I can barely move, eat, sleep or do anything. I am also on medication changes so my depression has been difficult to manage with my anxiety. I have been trying to do some reading on grieving to help. A good website I found with many links is: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm I also bought a book about grieving. They talk about grieving in death, but it pertains to any loss. Just do what you can to get through each day. Sleep, read, watch movies, cry, get sick, try to get out and do stuff, whatever it takes.:sick:
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