honey2910 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 My ex broke with me 5 months back..... My biggest mistake I accepted " can we be friends decision" Biggest blunder of life ...I ruined myself for 4 months. Now I am moving towards spirituality where I am trying to come out and have started understanding that "Running behind somebody should not be purpose of our life". I am detaching myself from her. Yet I have not implemented NC. I have drastically reduced my contact with ex to 10 mins in a week. I am enjoying my life, working hard and spending time with old friends. Am I doing correct? I think running from this condition will be cowardice however if things will not work I will go complete NC. I dont want to hate her for my benefit and yet want to become indifferent... Please suggest......
DJMarky Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Friends will never work. I am friends with my ex ex who I was with for 2 years, but that is because I lost interest in her, broke up with her (not a bad break up) then we didn't talk for months and months. Then we started talking occassionally, even hanging out and it was fine. Basically, if you can think about your ex being intimate with someone else and not cringe then you are ready to be friends, otherwise stay clear. Go NC.
Geishawhelk Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 ....Now I am moving towards spirituality where I am trying to come out .... This comment is mildly bewildering. Could you elaborate? Am I doing correct? I think running from this condition will be cowardice however if things will not work I will go complete NC. It's not a question of running from anything. It's a question of being able to accept things as they are and have neither feelings of rancour and resentment, nor their opposites. I dont want to hate her for my benefit and yet want to become indifferent... Please suggest...... What you have to decide is to what level you need to do something to avoid personal pain, to either you or her. You have an agenda. So does she. But they are not the same. Because you are the one living your life, your priority is what you think, say and do, and the consequences of those thoughts, words and actions on yourself, primarily, and their effect on others.
Author honey2910 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 Hi Geisha, I am trying to come out of despair, I want to come out of a condition and will live a life without her I want to come out and live everyday without giving any moment of a day to somebody who didnt appreciate me for what I am , and loved me for my conditions. I will not show this to her but later in life she will definitely she has lost somebody who loved her more than himself, who loved her for what she was....
Geishawhelk Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 And how are you doing this? What has the 'spirituality' bit got to do with it?
Author honey2910 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 I am not that my experienced to say this but I have started practising Buddhisim which is helping me to change my perspective towards life entirely. I have started taking every difficulty as a wonderful opportunity to prove myself that I will not get defeated by a small problem. Whatever my condition is I will fight and will emerge victorious !!! Thats what I can say...
Geishawhelk Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I thought as much.... You need more posts for your PM facility to be available to you, but once it is, PM me. I'm Buddhist, and if you're interested, we can not only discuss Buddhism privately, but I can give you a couple of good co-ordinates to some good Buddhist websites and forums for you to access and join, if you want. But all of the above, only if you want.
Author honey2910 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 Thanks Geisha..... I am seeking mind.... would love to learn from you.. Even I can also provide you with few links...... I can fwd you few ebooks if you want that will definitely enrich your life
Geishawhelk Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I prob'ly gottem already!! I think I've cleared out my local bookshop several times over, Amazon has made a small fortune out of me, and my bookshelves are doubled up with literature!! Thanks! Look, I don't want to steer this thread off your original topic, so PM me when you can, ok?
Recommended Posts