Suzie2044 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Hi there, im new to this site, but really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now and we have a great time together and up until recently, ive never had any problems about trust with him before. However the other day, after losing all my mobile phone contacts, he let me have his phone to get all our mutual friends numbers from his contact list. I came across one number and name i have never heard of before; and something inside of me - call it intuition - made me feel very uneasy. Now i know this was wrong of me, but i took that number down, not sure of what to do with it tbh. To cut the long story short - i googled the number - and it turns out it is a mobile number to a female escort. I felt sick to the stomach, and still do. Its been 2 days now, and i hate how i am feeling. Do i bring it up with him? If so, how? What does it all mean? Any advice would help me so much. Suzie.
Geishawhelk Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 When was the last time he used that number, or that it called him? Is there something in his call record? You need to establish some hard facts before wiping the floor with him, or jumping to conclusions. I'm not saying he's justified for having that number on his 'phone. I'm saying make sure you have all the correct and irrefutable evidence (whatever that may be!) before deciding where to take this.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Hi there, im new to this site, but really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now and we have a great time together and up until recently, ive never had any problems about trust with him before. However the other day, after losing all my mobile phone contacts, he let me have his phone to get all our mutual friends numbers from his contact list. I came across one number and name i have never heard of before; and something inside of me - call it intuition - made me feel very uneasy. Now i know this was wrong of me, but i took that number down, not sure of what to do with it tbh. To cut the long story short - i googled the number - and it turns out it is a mobile number to a female escort. I felt sick to the stomach, and still do. Its been 2 days now, and i hate how i am feeling. Do i bring it up with him? If so, how? What does it all mean? Any advice would help me so much. Suzie. Are you sure you wrote the number down right? Are you sure he didn't let a buddy borrow his phone? Are you sure he didn't enter in a wrong number? Look, you can't jump to conclusions about this right away. Check his computer, it should have all the info you need on there. Then once you have a baseline idea... ask him about it. Warning... it clearly says your an untrusting snoop, so don't expect him to feel comfortable with you in future situations like this. Even if it was innocent.
serialgf Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 has he had the phone longer than you've been together? that would be my first question...
serialgf Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 and i would add... just ask him about it.... it's not like you were snooping...
MSUE Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I must admit I would be bugging too but I absolutely agree with geisha hard facts hard evidence...hey...it could have been from a bachelor party...for all you know serialgf you have a great point as well
PrincessPeach Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 has he had the phone longer than you've been together? that would be my first question... Numbers can be transferred from phone to phone or stored on a SIM card, so that isn't necessarily going to telling you anything if he hasn't had the phone longer than he has had you. Of course that doesn't necessarily absolve him either
voldigicam Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Having a number is just having a number. Doesn't really prove anything. Even calling the number might just be a flicker of temptation. Rather than confront, if it's going to bother you. As it apparently does. You might just write a note with the facts. "I admit to prying a little when I had your phone. I apologize. But something has been bothering me. I found a number I didn't recognize. When I googled it, it was the number of an escort. This bothers me. I understand being bothered is my problem. But if it wouldn't be too difficult, perhaps you could tell me how that phone number ended up there. The truth isn't really going to hurt me that much, but I'm concerned how having no information is going to affect me and our relationship. Thanks for understanding." Worst case: he visits escorts. Better than street hookers, and probably a temptation for many men. Maybe for women, too. Or he was tempted and called, but didn't follow through. Or someone else called. Or it was a wrong number. Finding 200 calls to a college student and listening to 20 voice mails starting out "Hi, sugar daddy, I really enjoyed our date. The ice cream was delicious, and I loved making out in the park. How did you get your pants clean before you went home?" That would be much more disturbing. Regardless, better to know.
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